topic Re: I hate to tell my husband no but... in Relationships and Money

I hate to tell my husband no but...

casmith1980 — Tue, 24 Apr 2012 20:19:35 GMT

My husband and I are currently in the process of saving for our home purchase (hopefully mid to late 2013) and on a whim he decided to wanted to test drive the new Challenger. Of course - he LOVED it...without trying to sound like a "mom", I had to keep reminding him that in 3 years he can buy that darn car - but right now our priority is owning our home.

I know a lot of people won't agree with my mentality, but I look at car payments as a necessity (I know, I know!). I like to drive a nice car...and so does my husband but I'm trying to limit us to ONE car payment, not TWO. Hopefully his short term memory loss kicks in and he'll forget about the Challenger ;)

If only we could live in a bubble for a year and ignore temptations!

Re: I hate to tell my husband no but...

HoldingOntoHope — Tue, 24 Apr 2012 21:12:40 GMT

I fully understand your husband's desire. My own wish is the Dodge Charger. :smileyhappy: But I have solidly committed myself to paying down all of my other debts to 0$ before I assume a car payment. I just bought my first home a little over a year ago and ran up some bills with remakes and remodels to make it mine. Trust me, if you can just show him the numbers of how you can get to your new home if you avoid the car payment then he will probably be along for the ride. Myself, I have put all of my debts on a spreadsheet and track the balances once a month so I can see the progress. So far this year I have paid off 3500 and hope to have that number to 8000 by the end of the year. Total debt payoff is about 30 months and I have promised myself, then it's new car time. But who knows, by then the fever may have cooled and I'll find a different priority.

Re: I hate to tell my husband no but...

casmith1980 — Tue, 24 Apr 2012 22:18:40 GMT

I've shown him my extensive excel spreadsheet that I track his debts and our progress...he knows how important it is, I just have to keep reminding him.

by this time next year, I will have ALL of his debts paid off (including his truck). The only debt I'll have going into the homebuying process is my car payment :) Really looking forward it!

Re: I hate to tell my husband no but...

marty56 — Tue, 24 Apr 2012 22:35:15 GMT

casmith1980 wrote:
I know a lot of people won't agree with my mentality, but I look at car payments as a necessity (I know, I know!). I like to drive a nice car...and so does my husband but I'm trying to limit us to ONE car payment, not TWO. Hopefully his short term memory loss kicks in and he'll forget about the Challenger ;)

I'm a guy, I like my toys but I agree 100% with you.

Re: I hate to tell my husband no but...

IOBA — Wed, 25 Apr 2012 00:57:04 GMT

casmith1980 - oh girl, you gotta try buying a car - a nice car - with cash. Go the no car payment route... :)

Re: I hate to tell my husband no but...

cassembler — Wed, 25 Apr 2012 01:23:15 GMT

Stay focused!

On the bright side, at least he has nice taste in cars.

Re: I hate to tell my husband no but...

FrugalRican — Wed, 25 Apr 2012 01:27:53 GMT

It's a "guy" thing. I do this all the time, even though my name suggests differently.

It's hardwired into me to ooh and aah over the latest gadget, car, TV, etc...

But after a day or two of thinking about it, the feeling usually subsides.

If it's summer, I just go outside and grill something and it seems to sooth the manly tension of wanting to purchase something new and shiny.

Specially if a home is involved in the not-so-distant future.

Re: I hate to tell my husband no but...

casmith1980 — Wed, 25 Apr 2012 01:36:58 GMT

cash for car would be ideal! I don't know what I'd do without a payment lol if we had our house, I'd probably let him buy it but we need to stay focused right now. after he test drove, I made him go look at model homes to get his priorities back in line lol (it was beautiful though...SRT8 bumble bee edition) no clue if that's the right edition but it looked like a bee lol

Re: I hate to tell my husband no but...

IOBA — Wed, 25 Apr 2012 01:44:54 GMT

casmith1980 - you can do it! And I think your redirect of DH was great! :) And once you buy a car, paying cash, I don't know if you can ever go back to car payments again!

I started off with my first car kinda cash. One of those here's a check and here's another one but hold it for a month things. After that, car payments...next four cars...then I did here's a check, two credit cards, and a check to hold for a month. The last two vehicles - cash. It will always be cash from now on, even if part of it goes on a cc. The cc will be paid off within the cycle though. :)

Re: I hate to tell my husband no but...

haulingthescoreup — Wed, 25 Apr 2012 02:13:04 GMT

FrugalRican wrote:
It's a "guy" thing. I do this all the time, even though my name suggests differently.
It's hardwired into me to ooh and aah over the latest gadget, car, TV, etc...

But after a day or two of thinking about it, the feeling usually subsides.
If it's summer, I just go outside and grill something and it seems to sooth the manly tension of wanting to purchase something new and shiny.

Specially if a home is involved in the not-so-distant future.

Grilling as an antidote for app fever!!! I love it. :D

Re: I hate to tell my husband no but...

tinuviel — Thu, 26 Apr 2012 16:49:18 GMT

haulingthescoreup wrote:
FrugalRican wrote:
It's a "guy" thing. I do this all the time, even though my name suggests differently.
It's hardwired into me to ooh and aah over the latest gadget, car, TV, etc...

But after a day or two of thinking about it, the feeling usually subsides.
If it's summer, I just go outside and grill something and it seems to sooth the manly tension of wanting to purchase something new and shiny.

Specially if a home is involved in the not-so-distant future.

Grilling as an antidote for app fever!!! I love it. :D

I think I just figured out the next amenity to add to the Garden Club clubhouse over at the Credit Cards board!!! ;) LOL!!!

Re: I hate to tell my husband no but...

FrugalRican — Thu, 26 Apr 2012 16:53:27 GMT

Was joking with my mother about this over the phone, and she told me she went through a similar situation with her boyfriend.

He's trying to build his own house to rent out or for them to move in but he saw a car he wanted.

What did she do?

They took a small weekend getaway and she rented that specific car so they could drive to and from their destination.

After 2 or 3 days of driving it, the itch was gone. She figured she might have spent a few bucks doing that, but it saved them a bunch of money overall from him buying on impulse. Few days later, he had gotten over buying the car.

I told her that had the potential to backfire ridiculously. She just answered that it only backfires if you do a test drive, give them 2 or 3 days, and the feeling of excitement goes away once you realize it's another vehicle. It made sense.

My DGF would have just sent me to grill something.

Re: I hate to tell my husband no but...

webhopper — Sat, 28 Apr 2012 06:22:36 GMT

FrugalRican wrote:
Was joking with my mother about this over the phone, and she told me she went through a similar situation with her boyfriend.
He's trying to build his own house to rent out or for them to move in but he saw a car he wanted.

What did she do?

They took a small weekend getaway and she rented that specific car so they could drive to and from their destination.
After 2 or 3 days of driving it, the itch was gone. She figured she might have spent a few bucks doing that, but it saved them a bunch of money overall from him buying on impulse. Few days later, he had gotten over buying the car.

I told her that had the potential to backfire ridiculously. She just answered that it only backfires if you do a test drive, give them 2 or 3 days, and the feeling of excitement goes away once you realize it's another vehicle. It made sense.

My DGF would have just sent me to grill something.

That makes perfect sense... I love the ideas i get on this forum... For me, I'm the one that loves shiney new cars. I love cars. They are great. A nice car is a wonderful thing to have... I've been trying to get Joey to take me to go see the new Volvos' He won't budge... we aren't buying til 2016... but I just want to go pet a shiney new car ;)

On the flip side, my current 2008 volvo is paid for, his 2008 dodge nitro is paid for. We just have an explorer sport trac left with 19k financed for 35 more months at 4% courtesy of NFCU.

The next car, I hope is with cash... or at least one of those 0.9% financing for 36 months deals. I could live with that quite well :)

Re: I hate to tell my husband no but...

webhopper — Sun, 29 Apr 2012 02:17:52 GMT

webhopper wrote:
FrugalRican wrote:
Was joking with my mother about this over the phone, and she told me she went through a similar situation with her boyfriend.
He's trying to build his own house to rent out or for them to move in but he saw a car he wanted.

What did she do?

They took a small weekend getaway and she rented that specific car so they could drive to and from their destination.
After 2 or 3 days of driving it, the itch was gone. She figured she might have spent a few bucks doing that, but it saved them a bunch of money overall from him buying on impulse. Few days later, he had gotten over buying the car.

I told her that had the potential to backfire ridiculously. She just answered that it only backfires if you do a test drive, give them 2 or 3 days, and the feeling of excitement goes away once you realize it's another vehicle. It made sense.

My DGF would have just sent me to grill something.

That makes perfect sense... I love the ideas i get on this forum... For me, I'm the one that loves shiney new cars. I love cars. They are great. A nice car is a wonderful thing to have... I've been trying to get Joey to take me to go see the new Volvos' He won't budge... we aren't buying til 2016... but I just want to go pet a shiney new car ;)

On the flip side, my current 2008 volvo is paid for, his 2008 dodge nitro is paid for. We just have an explorer sport trac left with 19k financed for 35 more months at 4% courtesy of NFCU.

The next car, I hope is with cash... or at least one of those 0.9% financing for 36 months deals. I could live with that quite well :)

I went and looked at the shiny new Volvo C70s and S60s... Did not test drive as I had my daughter and her friend with me. Omg they are gorgeous cars.

Re: I hate to tell my husband no but...

charlie79 — Tue, 15 May 2012 16:04:22 GMT

Tell him that he can buy his car some other time but now your priority is to buy a house.

Re: I hate to tell my husband no but...

charlie79 — Thu, 17 May 2012 15:47:04 GMT

Irfan

I love cars too specially porches, carrera gt, BMW, Mercedis just name it...

It s just that a guy with a shiny car is like a firefly at night.......

House ofcourse is needed but a hot modified ferrari is something that cannot be described.......it just takes the breath away..

My personal favorite is mazda rx8 upgraded version but alas i dont have the money to buy it........

Re: I hate to tell my husband no but...

charlie79 — Thu, 17 May 2012 15:58:05 GMT

Ir7777,

Well actually there are times when running a family gets pretty togh and also our desires pulls us into more trouble. The idea is keeping firm to your goal and also pulling your partner out of his fantasy world to the reality..This might seem rough but to keep a balanced life free of debts this is mandatory. Goodluck

Re: I hate to tell my husband no but...

cmthomas06 — Sun, 24 Jun 2012 20:20:54 GMT

I totally agree with your mentality! If a new car isnt a necessity, then wait until you have your house! Dont feel like you are being too pushy or limiting (mother-like)... afterall, this is YOUR life too! Your future house if for both of you to enjoy and grow in; however, if the new car is purchased then this dream may take much longer to achieve. You will be the one taking the hit.

Stand your ground and explain that once the house is purchased and you guys are settlled in, then he can get his dream car.