topic Re: Boyfriend wants to sign up for utility - gets hit with security fees in Relationships and Money

Boyfriend wants to sign up for utility - gets hit with security fees

honeybunnygal — Wed, 30 May 2012 00:08:28 GMT

Hello all,

Wow, it's been a while since I've posted to the MyFico forums...anyway, my boyfriend of going on 4 years is preparing to move. Long story short: He was contracting work, contract ran out, had to move home with his mom. Got another contract position, became full-time employee with the company at the beginning of this year, and now he's gearing up to move into his own apartment.

The location he is moving to doesn't have a lot of options regarding TV/Internet service. He's looking into getting service with AT&T (TV & Internet.) He works in IT (as do I) and he needs to have an internet connection in case he needs to connect to work remotely. After running his credit, however, the company wants him to put a lot of money down to initiate service ($450.)

He asked if I would be willing to provide my SSN for service approval. I flat out refused, likening it to co-signing on a debt (which we ALL know to never, ever ever do.) I don't think he would intentionally bail on the debt/bill. However, something COULD happen, and I would be on the hook for the bill, yes?

As you can tell from my siggy, I've worked hard at rebuilding my credit, and was able to buy my home 1.5 years ago for myself and my (not his) daughter (yay!) We've discussed moving in together, but mutually decided to wait another year so that he can live on his own first & feel that he is prepared to handle a household.

I have added him as an AU on three of my CCs: 2 higher limit newer cards (AMEX & CITI) and 1 low limit older card, all with perfect history. I gave him the lower limit card (the limit is only $500, and has been since I got the card almost 5 years ago.) I figured he couldn't go too crazy with it, and that it would be a good way to see how he handles it.

I am not being unreasonable, am I? He was taken aback that I flat out refused when he asked. I don't think he fully gets what the repercussions would be if something went wrong with the bill. I'm sure you guys will give me some great advice, so thanks in advance!

Re: Boyfriend wants to sign up for utility - gets hit with security fees

calihlove75 — Wed, 30 May 2012 00:16:42 GMT

You are NOT being unreasonable at all. You have worked hard to get where you are at and you are ensuring that your decisions are in the best interest of you and your daughter. That makes you a great mom in my book. Do not second guess yourself or let anyone make you feel bad for doing what is best for your family.

Re: Boyfriend wants to sign up for utility - gets hit with security fees

livingfree — Wed, 30 May 2012 00:39:58 GMT

I totally agree with PP. I made the awful mistake of signing for someone who just needed it for approximately 6 months. Well low and behold they ran up the bill something crazy by ordering movies and whatever else. They moved and took the equipment with them and I was slapped with the fees for the equipment in excess of $1000. I could have went to jail for theft. I ended up paying for everything by payment plan and with destroying my credit. Total bill almost $2000. Oh and this was a guy I was in a relationship with for almost 6 years. He received his inheritance and hauled butt.

Re: Boyfriend wants to sign up for utility - gets hit with security fees

psychoinhell — Wed, 30 May 2012 01:21:41 GMT

You are doing much more for him than he deserves. I know 4 years you two have some history, but still you are taking a big risk. I am not sure what is the biggest problem that ends relationships, but it is either money or cheating. Since you are a mommy you have to limit your exposure and risk for the benefit of your child first and foremost!

I would tread carefully, very carefully.

Re: Boyfriend wants to sign up for utility - gets hit with security fees

honeybunnygal — Wed, 30 May 2012 03:10:32 GMT

We've been together for 4 years, but we've known each other for about 11 years (since college.) We've both made bad credit decisions. I guess that, even after having my daughter, I became more stable and settled down first. He's trying to get there. However, when he asked me that, it just seemed that he was trying to take the "easy" way out.

Re: Boyfriend wants to sign up for utility - gets hit with security fees

pizzadude — Wed, 30 May 2012 03:38:28 GMT

In some cases, service providers will refund a deposit after a year of good payment history ~ I think AT&T does this with wireless service. Have him inquire about this, and hopefully he'll only have to be out of pocket for 12 months.

Another option would be to skip the Cable TV service ( for now ) and just sign up for internet ~ that way the deposit amount wouldn't be as much. I know that it would kill some people to be "unplugged" but I have lived and survived without cable with no ill effects.... :P

Re: Boyfriend wants to sign up for utility - gets hit with security fees

marty56 — Wed, 30 May 2012 11:25:54 GMT

I am glad that you didn't provide your SSN. Just another form of cosign.

Maybe not today, tomorrow, or next week but at some point he will thank you down the road and appreciate you were helping by hurting as Suzie Orman would say.

Re: Boyfriend wants to sign up for utility - gets hit with security fees

drkaje — Wed, 30 May 2012 12:09:48 GMT

If DBF can't get utilities without a cosigner (after being made AU on three cards) there's a real problem.

I hate to state the obvious but it seems pretty risky. I know people say "It's only a low limit card", but a late payment is a late payment. :)

Re: Boyfriend wants to sign up for utility - gets hit with security fees

honeybunnygal — Wed, 30 May 2012 13:28:41 GMT

I added DBF as an AU within the past month, so I'm not sure if they've posted yet to his report. I'm also almost OCD-like when it comes to checking my CC status/balance, so if a charge posted, I would know fairly quickly & would pay something towards it for the sake of my own credit. Of course, DBF knows 1.) To discuss any non-emergency charges beforehand and 2.) He is on the hook regarding any charges he makes as far as I am concerned.

Re: Boyfriend wants to sign up for utility - gets hit with security fees

FrugalRican — Wed, 30 May 2012 14:47:07 GMT

honeybunnygal wrote:
After running his credit, however, the company wants him to put a lot of money down to initiate service ($450.)

What?

$450?

I'd rather lend that amount of money than give out my SSN.

But if he needs to put down THAT much to initiate a service, there's a huge red flag right there. If he REALLY needs the internet connection that bad, he'll make that "security deposit".

Re: Boyfriend wants to sign up for utility - gets hit with security fees

honeybunnygal — Wed, 30 May 2012 15:49:50 GMT

FrugalRican - I agree, I'd rather loan it. I would suggest letting him charge it as a loan & then pay it back. However, I'm also wondering if he'll have issues with getting other, more pressing utilities turned on (light, gas, etc.)

Ugh....sometimes I wish I didn't always have to be the more financially responsible one. Then I remember everything I had to go through to get back on track...and then I get over it.

Re: Boyfriend wants to sign up for utility - gets hit with security fees

drkaje — Wed, 30 May 2012 15:53:39 GMT

honeybunnygal wrote:
I added DBF as an AU within the past month, so I'm not sure if they've posted yet to his report. I'm also almost OCD-like when it comes to checking my CC status/balance, so if a charge posted, I would know fairly quickly & would pay something towards it for the sake of my own credit. Of course, DBF knows 1.) To discuss any non-emergency charges beforehand and 2.) He is on the hook regarding any charges he makes as far as I am concerned.

You're on the hook regarding any charges he makes as far as your creditor is concerned. :)

Simply saying to be honest with yourself about the actual risk and responsibility of making someone an AU.

Re: Boyfriend wants to sign up for utility - gets hit with security fees

honeybunnygal — Wed, 30 May 2012 16:24:41 GMT

I get that I'm on the hook with the card, which is why I only gave him the $500 limit card. It correlates to the level of risk I'm willing to take. I had his AMEX limit capped @ $200, just in case (keep in mind he doesn't even have the card.) I'll check with Citibank to see if they provide similar limits on AU cards.

I just keep thinking of the situation a friend of mine found herself in. She co-signed for student loans for her DF. I believe she was either wrapping up her Bachelor's, or working on her Master's at the time. Yep...you guessed it...they split up. Even worse, he decides to take a break from school. Payments weren't being made, so of course my friend is then getting called for payment. Given that she had other debts as well, she eventually had to file BK. Keep in mind that SL debt is generally not charged off in BK...sad.

Re: Boyfriend wants to sign up for utility - gets hit with security fees

FrugalRican — Wed, 30 May 2012 16:28:46 GMT

Just read the rest of the Relationships and Money thread... it's full of cautionary tales and horror stories.

Is this something he's working on or that you're just spearheading for him?

Re: Boyfriend wants to sign up for utility - gets hit with security fees

drkaje — Wed, 30 May 2012 16:29:15 GMT

There are likely many people in the same position as your friend. Cosigning for student loans, cars, credit cards, or trying to stop the bleeding excessive spending or credit can cause. Mortgages can be just as big a problem as well.

Re: Boyfriend wants to sign up for utility - gets hit with security fees

honeybunnygal — Wed, 30 May 2012 16:51:44 GMT

I've mentioned in the past working on his credit. At the time his job wasn't as stable since he was still contracting, so there was a concern about waking the beast. He's been moreso focused on saving money to get an apartment & setting his budget.

I just sent him an email letting him know that I stand by my decision, but would be willing to sit down with him & go through all his reports. I also pointed him to the MyFico forums as well. Hopefully, he will be willing to do that.

Re: Boyfriend wants to sign up for utility - gets hit with security fees

FrugalRican — Wed, 30 May 2012 16:52:50 GMT

He gonna be okay with seeing a thread about him? lol

Re: Boyfriend wants to sign up for utility - gets hit with security fees

drkaje — Wed, 30 May 2012 17:00:25 GMT

LOL @ FR!!

You're not getting me going today. Been working on impulse control, LOL!

HBG,

FWIW, DGF is on a card of mine to improve utilization and I'm on her Amex Delta. I cut the Amex up over a year ago.

Re: Boyfriend wants to sign up for utility - gets hit with security fees

honeybunnygal — Wed, 30 May 2012 17:04:26 GMT

FrugalRican wrote:
He gonna be okay with seeing a thread about him? lol

Oh boy....well...I'll be sure to point him to the rebuilding board first. Yeah, that's what I'll do....*gulp*

Re: Boyfriend wants to sign up for utility - gets hit with security fees

drkaje — Wed, 30 May 2012 17:12:34 GMT

honeybunnygal wrote:
FrugalRican wrote:
He gonna be okay with seeing a thread about him? lol

Oh boy....well...I'll be sure to point him to the rebuilding board first. Yeah, that's what I'll do....*gulp*

You can request the thread be deleted.

We won't tell, for a small fee payable in beer. :)