topic GF is AU on Freedom in Relationships and Money

GF is AU on Freedom

afbar1114 — Sat, 02 Jun 2012 18:54:55 GMT

I put my GF as an AU on my freedom so she can use when shes low on money to buy food at work. I know most of you will say i shouldnt have but we plan on getting married when i am finished with school in a year so i did not think it was a big deal. Yesterday she bought some stuff that came out to $62. the thing is she got paid yesterday as well. should i ask her why she wanted to use that much or just say that i cant do that all the time. I dont mind she uses it but $62 is alot to me and i want to make sure shes not always going to be doing that.

Re: GF is AU on Freedom

drkaje — Sat, 02 Jun 2012 19:52:47 GMT

I don't know what to tell you, Man.

Sorry. If reading horror stories here (and elsewhere on-line) about how poorly that situation can turn out, there's nothing I could possibly say that would help.:)

I'm not anti-AU, just think people really need to set boundaries and let expectations be known in advance before ~~risking~~ sharing credit. If your girl wasn't made aware of how/when/why you make payments, she might be under the assumption that you'll let her know something when the statement closes.

FWIW, I'm AU on a card of DGF's and she's on one of mine. These are for utilization purposes and neither has or carries a balance. I forgot this month and let a balance post on a card. Her score wasn't affected but it was an annoying reminder about being financially tied.

Best I can say is good luck. :)

Re: GF is AU on Freedom

afbar1114 — Sat, 02 Jun 2012 19:54:45 GMT

thanks ill talk to her about and say i dont mind it but i cant do it all the time..

Re: GF is AU on Freedom

drkaje — Sat, 02 Jun 2012 20:57:08 GMT

afbar1114 wrote:
thanks ill talk to her about and say i dont mind it but i cant do it all the time..

Isn't she paying the $62?!

Re: GF is AU on Freedom

marty56 — Sun, 03 Jun 2012 11:26:47 GMT

afbar1114 wrote:
thanks ill talk to her about and say i dont mind it but i cant do it all the time..

This is your chance to see what your married future will be with her based on her answer. Even you if don't get the answer you want, she may be doing you a favor in the long run by how she answers it.

Re: GF is AU on Freedom

jetsfan2012 — Sun, 03 Jun 2012 14:48:29 GMT

I agree with the above posts. This can truly be a preview of what you can expect if you get married. If you cant get on the same page now, then you have info that some dont get until they have said their vows.

Re: GF is AU on Freedom

Repo-ed — Sun, 03 Jun 2012 14:57:55 GMT

1- if she is expecting YOU to pay that purchase, you need to end it now. I don't care how hot you think she is

2- remove her as an AU, STAT.

3- You'll thank us later.

Re: GF is AU on Freedom

drkaje — Sun, 03 Jun 2012 15:15:00 GMT

Trust and believe; for this lesson, $62 is a bargain! :)

Re: GF is AU on Freedom

DonGonzalo — Sun, 03 Jun 2012 17:32:10 GMT

afbar1114 wrote:
I put my GF as an AU on my freedom so she can use when shes low on money to buy food at work. I know most of you will say i shouldnt have but we plan on getting married when i am finished with school in a year so i did not think it was a big deal. Yesterday she bought some stuff that came out to $62. the thing is she got paid yesterday as well. should i ask her why she wanted to use that much or just say that i cant do that all the time. I dont mind she uses it but $62 is alot to me and i want to make sure shes not always going to be doing that.

Why can't she cook and take her lunch to work? You should really remove her as an AU on the account. Is her credit good enough to get her own Chase card? Making purchases on the card, that is by no means an emergency, the same day as payday should be a wake up call for you. Good luck!

Re: GF is AU on Freedom

FrugalRican — Mon, 04 Jun 2012 13:46:40 GMT

afbar1114 wrote:
I put my GF as an AU on my freedom so she can use when shes low on money to buy food at work. I know most of you will say i shouldnt have but we plan on getting married when i am finished with school in a year so i did not think it was a big deal. Yesterday she bought some stuff that came out to $62. the thing is she got paid yesterday as well. should i ask her why she wanted to use that much or just say that i cant do that all the time. I dont mind she uses it but $62 is alot to me and i want to make sure shes not always going to be doing that.

If she got paid yesterday, why are you paying the $62? Is this your arrangement with her? She eats, you pay?

And if it is your card, can't you see where the $62 was spent? Was this in a restaurant? Who eats $62 by themselves (HINT HINT)?

And if you are asking us NOW about THIS... I can't wait to see how worse it'll get later on.

You say it's not a big deal, but you made a post about it... contradictions, abound.

Be honest, it is a big deal. $62 is her testing you, by the way. She'll go higher if this is left unchecked.

And like others have said, this is experimental time for you.

I could leave my wallet, cards, cellphone in a room with my DGF and know it could go untouched for a month... and she'd definitely have to answer for a $62 charge, just as I would if I did it on her cards.

Re: GF is AU on Freedom

cassembler — Fri, 08 Jun 2012 00:55:51 GMT

jetsfan2012 wrote:
I agree with the above posts. This can truly be a preview of what you can expect if you get married. If you cant get on the same page now, then you have info that some dont get until they have said their vows.

+1. This is a perfect opportunity to talk about money and expectations before you lose half of everything :)

Re: GF is AU on Freedom

FrugalRican — Fri, 08 Jun 2012 14:50:37 GMT

Had forgotten about this thread. Any updates? Any chance you could add me as an AU to your card too? :)

Re: GF is AU on Freedom

drkaje — Fri, 08 Jun 2012 15:58:45 GMT

No Jake. Don't do it!

Re: GF is AU on Freedom

Booner72 — Tue, 12 Jun 2012 23:29:44 GMT

I wanna know how this turned out....what did she say????

Re: GF is AU on Freedom

DaveSignal — Wed, 13 Jun 2012 00:17:04 GMT

$62 seems like a trivial charge to me. If I told my wife she could use the card if she needed it and $62 is all she spent, I would thank her for helping to conserve money.

Re: GF is AU on Freedom

FrugalRican — Mon, 18 Jun 2012 14:55:29 GMT

DaveSignal wrote:
$62 seems like a trivial charge to me. If I told my wife she could use the card if she needed it and $62 is all she spent, I would thank her for helping to conserve money.

At $62 for one lunch for herself just a few days after being added as an AU, the last thing I'd be doing is thanking her.

Re: GF is AU on Freedom

rootpooty — Thu, 12 Jul 2012 09:20:23 GMT

so what happened did the gf break up with him or something?

Re: GF is AU on Freedom

drkaje — Thu, 12 Jul 2012 12:16:37 GMT

@ rp,

I think he took a break from posting/hanging here. It was making his app itch too bad.

Re: GF is AU on Freedom

rootpooty — Thu, 12 Jul 2012 17:49:23 GMT

drkaje wrote:
@ rp,

I think he took a break from posting/hanging here. It was making his app itch too bad.

oh lol yeah this place will do that especially if you hang in the cc forum

Re: GF is AU on Freedom

drkaje — Thu, 12 Jul 2012 18:33:54 GMT

He's probably apping for something right now, LOL!