topic Re: called stupid for having joint account?!?! in Relationships and Money

called stupid for having joint account?!?!

jcstarkey8826 — Tue, 04 Sep 2012 17:31:48 GMT

My soon to be fiance and I have had joint accounts and lived together for 2 years now. Apparently, I'm stupid for having joint finances? My co-workers all have seperate accounts from their wife/husband, and say that its not smart to have joint accounts. Now I could see if she was a shopaholic or something, yes, I might need a seperate account. However, we are both pretty frugal, keep our DTI very low, and splurge on couples things. We dont have to stress about money really and we are very in sync when it comes to finances. We budget every week before payday, I tell her what bills we have coming out, she decides the amount we set aside for weekly fun, and the rest goes in savings. I thought it was pretty easy, and thats the end of my financial thought for the rest of the week.

Is this a bad idea? Maybe when we have more than just 7k in the bank it might be tragic if she somehow took all of that money and ran one day lol, but I live in MI where its all 50/50 regardless of what accounts they are on. Is there something I should be worried about now?

Re: called stupid for having joint account?!?!

jcstarkey8826 — Wed, 05 Sep 2012 12:54:23 GMT

Its a good thing I work for the bank ;)

My account would not be frozen per our policy, but most of the conversation was around trust. They didnt seem to trust the other with finances. I just found it strange that they thought two people couldnt/shouldnt join finances.

Re: called stupid for having joint account?!?!

pizzadude — Wed, 05 Sep 2012 19:25:26 GMT

You'll find a lot of strong opinions on this subject ~ IMO there isn't a universal rule that applies for all cases, and based on what you have shared about you and your spouse, I think you'll be just fine. Some married people manage everything jointly, some don't.....

Re: called stupid for having joint account?!?!

Mrs-CFO — Fri, 07 Sep 2012 05:22:14 GMT

Agreed. It will be different for each couple.

My DH and I opened a joint account shortly after getting engaged. We each kept our own personal account. We each put a set amount into the joint account for bills, savings and joint fun. We have personal account to spend as we please - fun, gifts, etc. It's our mad money. A few times a month we discuss bills and where we are at with our budget. It works very well for us.

As long as you and your significant other are on the same page, then that's all that matters. :smileyvery-happy:

Re: called stupid for having joint account?!?!

rootpooty — Fri, 07 Sep 2012 06:55:01 GMT

pizzadude wrote:

You'll find a lot of strong opinions on this subject ~ IMO there isn't a universal rule that applies for all cases, and based on what you have shared about you and your spouse, I think you'll be just fine. Some married people manage everything jointly, some don't.....

+1 dont worry about what everyone else tells you. If its working for you and you have no doubts about it then props to you. Some women live in fairy tale land that money grows on trees so naturally people are going to give you grief when they find out you share your finances. Most couple relationships turn pretty sour when its not 50/50 on the finances

Re: called stupid for having joint account?!?!

jd5189 — Fri, 07 Sep 2012 19:01:23 GMT

Do not worry what other people tell you. It what you do works for you both financially, that is all that matters. We have joint accounts, but I handle it all (and she would prefer it that way). We also have a monthly/weekly budget for everything as well.

Both of our paychecks and investment incomes go into our joint "big" account. This is the account that pays the CC's (budgeted spending) and bills. Once per month, we have an automatic withdrawal to satellite accounts off the big account. These are our do what ever you want with this money accounts. I cannot complain what she spends it on and vice versa. In my case I use my Freedom card and pay it off with my whatever money (unless I used it for gas for the 5% CB). If either of us want to buy something bigger than our monthy money, we have to talk about it. Some might say this kills their freedom with the money they earn, but we look at it as we are building a life together and since the money we both make supports that life (and the future) than it should go into one account.

I think it works out great for us. It keeps her from spending too much and me as well. It sounds like it works out great for you as well. Don't change something that is working out for you.

Re: called stupid for having joint account?!?!

jcstarkey8826 — Fri, 07 Sep 2012 20:19:02 GMT

Thats what I thought. I mean, not everyones situation works the same. We are happy the way we have it and it works for us. We dont fight or worry about the finances so I took that as a success! :)

Re: called stupid for having joint account?!?!

Shogun — Sat, 08 Sep 2012 09:59:25 GMT

jcstarkey8826 wrote:
Thats what I thought. I mean, not everyones situation works the same. We are happy the way we have it and it works for us. We dont fight or worry about the finances so I took that as a success! :)

If it aint broke, don't fix it! :smileywink:

Re: called stupid for having joint account?!?!

lithium78 — Sun, 16 Sep 2012 13:27:43 GMT

Joint accounts can be dangerous because if something goes sour either party can empty the account without notice. My DW and I have separate account but also a joint account that we each pay into for all shared bills. That way, we maintain our financial independence but also take care of our shared responsibilities.

Re: called stupid for having joint account?!?!

haulingthescoreup — Tue, 18 Sep 2012 06:22:37 GMT

Joint checking/ savings/ investment accounts are one thing. They don't report to your credit history, and there are legal protections if things go sour. It's often way simpler to keep track of stuff with a joint account.

Joint credit is entirely different. Other than a mortgage, most people can pull their own weight for credit cards, etc and don't need a co-signer (aka, joint account holder) to get an account. If you have joint credit on an account (as opposed to being an authorized user), you are eternally responsible for anything and everything on that account until it is closed, and it doesn't matter a tinker's d@mn what the lawyer said or what the judge ruled. Creditors are not affected by divorce decrees. If someone else influences the co-holder of the account to do stupid things, you are entirely on the hook for it, no matter how right or wrong.

Another scenario is if one of you gets hit with devasting expenses (think medical expenses not covered by insurance + job loss), and bankruptcy might be the only option. If you've kept your credit (again, credit, not finances) separate, one spouse's accounts won't be included in the BK, and while digging out from the financial devastation, the couple can still buy a car and so forth.

There are all sorts of stories by people who are smarter than I and more experienced than I whose credit was ruined because a deeply-trusted loved one betrayed their trust. It's bad enough getting kicked in the teeth emotionally by someone you loved. Having their misbehavior --for instance: charges they ran up while taking their snuggle-bunny to Vegas, and oh my yes, this most certainly does happen --sit on your own credit report for another 7 years will lead to serious grinding of teeth and eventual dental bills.

My rule of thumb is separate credit accounts, except for a mortgage, and joint if you want it checking/ savings/ etc accounts, the difference being whether the account reports to one's credit history. If you both want to share in the rewards program, etc of a credit card, make one of you an authorized user. All the benefits, and none of the potential time bombs.

Re: called stupid for having joint account?!?!

FrugalRican — Tue, 18 Sep 2012 10:33:24 GMT

As someone in the banking and accounting fields. I can tell you, it's only stupid if you're doing it incorrectly.

I have a joint account with my girlfriend which is specifically for rent and joint expenses.

Everything else is in our separate accounts.

Re: called stupid for having joint account?!?!

sccredit — Wed, 19 Sep 2012 15:32:38 GMT

My (now) wife and I started a joint account after we moved in together (shortly after getting engaged) and have had it that way since. At the time we were two incomes, now it is just one and she is holding down the homefront. She manages our finances, we go through it regularly and it works VERY well for us.

More than anything it depends on your partner and whether or not it works. Your seems to be working just fine, I wouldn't worry too much about what other people say.

Re: called stupid for having joint account?!?!

webhopper — Sat, 22 Sep 2012 04:32:23 GMT

My husband and I joined accounts... or rather we maintained seperate accounts that are joint accounts now. Trust is the issue... its not a money issue.

Re: called stupid for having joint account?!?!

my-own-fico — Fri, 28 Sep 2012 15:21:48 GMT

haulingthescoreup wrote:

... Other than a mortgage ... except for a mortgage ...

But isn't the rest generally a drop in the financial bucket? I find this contrast interesting: 1. half of household couples up to the age of forty are underwater, 2. by law a creditor can close a joint account at the request of either spouse. It should noted that the card must be paid off before it can be closed, but how much can the spouse charge when you check the balance responsibly often?

Re: called stupid for having joint account?!?!

CruzImperial — Sat, 20 Oct 2012 03:28:50 GMT

Looks like it's working very good for you. My GF is very aware of her credit as well but mainly because we have different app spree dates, we do not have any joint accs yet.

I hope you guys can maintain all the trust you have in each other.

Re: called stupid for having joint account?!?!

wallyworld123 — Sat, 20 Oct 2012 05:07:55 GMT

webhopper wrote:
My husband and I joined accounts... or rather we maintained seperate accounts that are joint accounts now. Trust is the issue... its not a money issue.

Ditto! +1000

Re: called stupid for having joint account?!?!

beb86 — Sun, 28 Oct 2012 05:37:09 GMT

There isn't a wrong way to handle your finances (by this I mean joint or separate accounts)..For every (+) someone can show you a (-)... What's important is what works for you and your family

Re: called stupid for having joint account?!?!

my-own-fico — Sat, 15 Dec 2012 04:36:10 GMT

The ways of doing it may look wide open from a distance, but once all the details have been laid bare, the only win for keeping finances separate may well be the ultimate separation and divorce. You never had a chance in the first place because your hearts aren't fully in it, and the self-reinforcing snowball merely speeds it up. The logistics alone is unbearable. When it works for some, it's because it's more of a business relationship than a companion relationship, and that's probably not what we are discussing. But if it is and other variations too, then let's include people that aren't grown up and able to trust each other and be accountable, people that childishly think they can do what they want because it's their money, people that can't say no to themselves and are not able to postpone gratification. These people aren't ready for a real relationship anyway, money or not. Emotional hangups and habits, if not direct addiction or codependency, hold them back, and they may be in serious need of help to restore freedom and trust. Wishing you a happy Sunday! :smileywink:

Re: called stupid for having joint account?!?!

jcstarkey8826 — Thu, 01 Nov 2012 18:21:48 GMT

Thanks, I think people that can hadle their finances understand. It really isnt a money issue at all... maybe I'd feel differently if she was a shopoholic, but it works for us and we enjoy it. Its easy to keep up with the bills and savings. I dont have to ask her for half of the bills and such. Plus, I make more money than she does, so I dont want her to see her account and stress about bills and her account balance being low etc. I make more money, I pay more bills, and it works.

My hope is that I can get my income to increase enough to where she doesnt have to work. Right now she works as just a convenience and to save up for our house, but I told her that if I can ever add on that extra 30k/yr. to my salary, she can quit and start a hobby haha.

Thanks for all of the input, guys!!!

Re: called stupid for having joint account?!?!

Shogun — Fri, 02 Nov 2012 19:03:19 GMT

Best of luck to you. And if that hobby happens to make money, even better!