topic Re: Turning brother in for CC fraud in Relationships and Money

Turning brother in for CC fraud

alex1977 — Wed, 19 Sep 2012 16:09:23 GMT

I recently learned that my brother opened up two credit card accounts in my name and has accumulated charges of roughly 6k. I assume my only option is two turn him into the CC company for the fraud or take the hit on my credit and repay the debt myself. Does anyone know what will happen to my brother if I turn him in for fraud to the CC companies, I assyume he will be arrested? Thanks

Re: Turning brother in for CC fraud

jd5189 — Wed, 19 Sep 2012 16:27:37 GMT

This may fit better in the Relationships and Money threads. First, you should immediately notify the CCC's that the accounts were open under and have them frozen. Next, you would have to fill out a police report first to resolve yourself from the debts. After that, the CCC would want a copy of the police report to officially resolve you from the debts.

He will definitely be arrested by the police for fraud charges. I do not think there is a way around that because once the report is filed it is no longer in your hands...

Re: Turning brother in for CC fraud

codimom — Wed, 19 Sep 2012 16:42:59 GMT

and to add to this, identity fraud is very hard to recover from. Call the companies and report it, file the police report and then contact ALL the credit bureaus to freeze your credit so that neither he nor anyone else can open anything in your name without verification. PITA but worth it.

edited because can and can't have totally different meanings :)

Re: Turning brother in for CC fraud

mmmagique — Wed, 19 Sep 2012 18:49:43 GMT

OP, it's obvious you care about your brother, but he stole from you, and he needs to have consequences to those actions. You don't want him to turn around and do this to an elderly relative or anyone else because he got away with it when he did it to you.

You need to turn him in so that you can get your own credit repaired. The only way you're going to get the companies and agencies to listen to you is if you do what you know is right, and turn him in.

You're facing a decision you shouldn't have to face, but you didn't do anything wrong. Turning him in isn't doing anything wrong either. It may be the best thing you could possibly do for him.

Re: Turning brother in for CC fraud

indecison — Wed, 19 Sep 2012 19:52:02 GMT

mmmagique wrote:
OP, it's obvious you care about your brother, but he stole from you, and he needs to have consequences to those actions. You don't want him to turn around and do this to an elderly relative or anyone else because he got away with it when he did it to you.
You need to turn him in so that you can get your own credit repaired. The only way you're going to get the companies and agencies to listen to you is if you do what you know is right, and turn him in.
You're facing a decision you shouldn't have to face, but you didn't do anything wrong. Turning him in isn't doing anything wrong either. It may be the best thing you could possibly do for him.

+1 Well put! Nothing to add to that!

Re: Turning brother in for CC fraud

LS2982 — Wed, 19 Sep 2012 21:23:35 GMT

mmmagique wrote:
OP, it's obvious you care about your brother, but he stole from you, and he needs to have consequences to those actions. You don't want him to turn around and do this to an elderly relative or anyone else because he got away with it when he did it to you.
You need to turn him in so that you can get your own credit repaired. The only way you're going to get the companies and agencies to listen to you is if you do what you know is right, and turn him in.
You're facing a decision you shouldn't have to face, but you didn't do anything wrong. Turning him in isn't doing anything wrong either. It may be the best thing you could possibly do for him.

Totally agree!!

Re: Turning brother in for CC fraud

Jazzzy — Wed, 19 Sep 2012 21:27:07 GMT

It's a tough decision, but turning him in is the tough love that will help him the most.

May I ask how you discovered the fraud?

Re: Turning brother in for CC fraud

sccredit — Wed, 19 Sep 2012 21:30:13 GMT

mmmagique wrote:
OP, it's obvious you care about your brother, but he stole from you, and he needs to have consequences to those actions. You don't want him to turn around and do this to an elderly relative or anyone else because he got away with it when he did it to you.
You need to turn him in so that you can get your own credit repaired. The only way you're going to get the companies and agencies to listen to you is if you do what you know is right, and turn him in.
You're facing a decision you shouldn't have to face, but you didn't do anything wrong. Turning him in isn't doing anything wrong either. It may be the best thing you could possibly do for him.

100+% agree with this! You're in a tough spot. Just think of it this way, if your brother cared as much about you as you do him he wouldn't have commited fraud against you. Sorry, this is a crappy situation no matter how you look at it.

Re: Turning brother in for CC fraud

Mike360 — Wed, 19 Sep 2012 22:27:23 GMT

If he cared about you he shouldn't have did what he did. If i was in your situation i'd turn him into the police ASAP

Re: Turning brother in for CC fraud

Wolf3 — Wed, 19 Sep 2012 22:51:38 GMT

If this is his first offense of this type and there were extenuating circumstances, you might give him a chance to make good. Or a family intervention might be appropriate.

If on the other hand, this is his normal behavior, call the police.

Re: Turning brother in for CC fraud

JonStur — Thu, 20 Sep 2012 00:43:29 GMT

First freeze your credit. This may be the tip of the iceberg, and I would hate for more fraud to show up. Next, you have to go to the police. The longer you wait, the more you make CC's think YOU are actually the one behind this. Make the tough decision and do what you have to do. Good luck!!!

Re: Turning brother in for CC fraud

calihlove75 — Thu, 20 Sep 2012 01:00:51 GMT

Wow, what a tough spot to be in. Who can you trust when you cannot even trust family? I know it's your brother but we are talking about your financial well-being. I agree to freeze your reports and you have no choice but to file a report against your brother if you don't want to take the hit. Sorry you are going through this but I say protect your own interests. Even if you took full responsibility of the debt to protect your brother, you would be doing him injustice. Who is to say he would not do this to someone else less forgiving. Tough love is the best love.

Re: Turning brother in for CC fraud

RyVision — Thu, 20 Sep 2012 07:08:26 GMT

Frankly, over 6 grand (unless we were both flat broke) I wouldn't put my brother in jail along with it's horrible treatment and the effect it would have on him the rest of his life. I'd face him like a man and tell him the accounts have been closed and ask how he's going to pay me back before I ever considered doing that to him. Blood is still thicker than money. I for one can replace money, I can NOT however replace a brother.

I think a lot of you are talking through your hats on this one!

I would put a freeze on my credit however first thing though regardless.

I'll tell you one thing for a fact, no matter what you think of your brother now, he will only come out of the prison system a much worse person and very resentful of you for life, you will no longer have that brother. Think about that before you listen to these "OH I GOT COJONES" blowhards. These people MAY watch a little too much "Doctor" Phil at times............

Re: Turning brother in for CC fraud

bradpitt — Thu, 20 Sep 2012 07:55:17 GMT

Been lurking for a few months. Most of your guys have great advise but I think the op may be mislead here. Though he hasn't logged on since the initial post so hopefully he called his parents to ask for advise.

I agree with Wolf3 and RyVision.

We don't know enough about what is happening.

How old is his brother for one. Is he young and foolish? We all have done things that we wish we wouldn't have when we were young.

Did the bothers have a feud? Some siblings do the stupidest things when fighting.

Calling the police in either of the above scenarios would be bad. His brother and maybe parents and siblings would never forgive him.

Or is the brother a rotten apple. In that case then sure call the police.

Otherwise I think it best to call the parents if they are still alive and get there input.

Best case would be that the parents would pay off the dept and op submit goodwill letters explaining what happened to have any late dates removed off his credit report.

Like RyVision said any call to the police would pretty much end any good life that the brother could have had......

I sure couldn't do that to any of my brothers even if they did something as stupid as this.

Re: Turning brother in for CC fraud

navigatethis12 — Thu, 20 Sep 2012 12:17:55 GMT

RyVision wrote:
Frankly, over 6 grand (unless we were both flat broke) I wouldn't put my brother in jail along with it's horrible treatment and the effect it would have on him the rest of his life. I'd face him like a man and tell him the accounts have been closed and ask how he's going to pay me back before I ever considered doing that to him. Blood is still thicker than money. I for one can replace money, I can NOT however replace a brother.

I think a lot of you are talking through your hats on this one!

I would put a freeze on my credit however first thing though regardless.

I'll tell you one thing for a fact, no matter what you think of your brother now, he will only come out of the prison system a much worse person and very resentful of you for life, you will no longer have that brother. Think about that before you listen to these "OH I GOT COJONES" blowhards. These people MAY watch a little too much "Doctor" Phil at times............

I like my brothers, and would say I am closest to my little brother. I would not hesitate for one second to ring the police on him if he did this to me. Why should I be concerned if he would resent me for life? To be honest, I would resent him for life and never speak to him again. I loaned a cousin and a close friend money and they never paid it back; I have not spoken to them since and this was around three years ago. I do not play games when it comes to money, and for someone to open credit cards claiming to be me is about as bad as it gets.

You may not sever ties with family so easily, but I have no problem with it. If he cared about family so much the cards would not have been open. In my opinion, just because someone is family does not mean they should get any kind of special treatment when it comes to the rules.

Re: Turning brother in for CC fraud

Koop10010 — Thu, 20 Sep 2012 12:43:26 GMT

navigatethis12 wrote:
RyVision wrote:
Frankly, over 6 grand (unless we were both flat broke) I wouldn't put my brother in jail along with it's horrible treatment and the effect it would have on him the rest of his life. I'd face him like a man and tell him the accounts have been closed and ask how he's going to pay me back before I ever considered doing that to him. Blood is still thicker than money. I for one can replace money, I can NOT however replace a brother.

I think a lot of you are talking through your hats on this one!

I would put a freeze on my credit however first thing though regardless.

I'll tell you one thing for a fact, no matter what you think of your brother now, he will only come out of the prison system a much worse person and very resentful of you for life, you will no longer have that brother. Think about that before you listen to these "OH I GOT COJONES" blowhards. These people MAY watch a little too much "Doctor" Phil at times............
I like my brothers, and would say I am closest to my little brother. I would not hesitate for one second to ring the police on him if he did this to me. Why should I be concerned if he would resent me for life? To be honest, I would resent him for life and never speak to him again. I loaned a cousin and a close friend money and they never paid it back; I have not spoken to them since and this was around three years ago. I do not play games when it comes to money, and for someone to open credit cards claiming to be me is about as bad as it gets.

You may not sever ties with family so easily, but I have no problem with it. If he cared about family so much the cards would not have been open. In my opinion, just because someone is family does not mean they should get any kind of special treatment when it comes to the rules.

Huge +1 Why should "blood be thicker than money" for the OP when it sure isn't for his brother? Not only that, but the OP will not be the one putting his brother in jail if he reveals the crime, his brother put himself in jail when he committed the crime. Actions have consequences, it's the nature of the universe, and it sounds like it's about time the OP's brother learned this. The OP might think his protecting him by not telling the police, but really he is making himself be an easy mark and his brother will probably continue to exploit their bond until the time when he can no longer avoid the consequences of his actions.

Re: Turning brother in for CC fraud

Smug — Thu, 20 Sep 2012 12:51:09 GMT

Agree, I would never put a relative in jail, I would however raid his home for the outstanding balance.

Re: Turning brother in for CC fraud

Cageym — Thu, 20 Sep 2012 13:18:06 GMT

Whenever money and family are involved just be prepared to never see the money again. His brother obviously has some issue that made him steal $6,000 from his own brother. And if you just let him slide you are an enabler for whatever issue he has and he will find a way to get more money from you. Never mind what it's going to do to his credit and the cost of getting rid of that, even if he doesn't call the cops and decides to wait it out until it drops.

Re: Turning brother in for CC fraud

princechristian — Thu, 20 Sep 2012 14:45:34 GMT

Gotta agree with Wolf3, RyVision, and Bradpitt on this one...

If this is the norm for his brother and he's already been in and out of jail, that's different.

But if this is a rare or first time occasion then $6k, or any amount that I could personally recover from, is definitely not enough to make me call police on family members, especially a brother.

Re: Turning brother in for CC fraud

GomerPyle — Thu, 20 Sep 2012 15:04:00 GMT

RyVision wrote:
Frankly, over 6 grand (unless we were both flat broke) I wouldn't put my brother in jail along with it's horrible treatment and the effect it would have on him the rest of his life. I'd face him like a man and tell him the accounts have been closed and ask how he's going to pay me back before I ever considered doing that to him. Blood is still thicker than money. I for one can replace money, I can NOT however replace a brother.

I think a lot of you are talking through your hats on this one!

I would put a freeze on my credit however first thing though regardless.

I'll tell you one thing for a fact, no matter what you think of your brother now, he will only come out of the prison system a much worse person and very resentful of you for life, you will no longer have that brother. Think about that before you listen to these "OH I GOT COJONES" blowhards. These people MAY watch a little too much "Doctor" Phil at times............