topic Re: Meet the Marriage Killer in Relationships and Money

Meet the Marriage Killer

my-own-fico — Thu, 26 Jan 2012 07:33:14 GMT

Hint: it's not money.

Psychologists say that many people will talk about anything, even sex, before they'll talk about their finances. Why is it so difficult for us to talk about money? Perhaps because money symbolizes different things to different people, like power, control, security or love.

Oddly enough, the following Wall Street Journal article mentions only the last one of those words. Money and credit are nowhere to be found, but I thought I'd let you know anyway.

Meet the Marriage Killer; It's More Common Than Adultery and Potentially As Toxic, So Why Is It So Hard to Stop Nagging?
http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424052970203806504577180811554468728.html

Re: Meet the Marriage Killer

ptr2593 — Thu, 26 Jan 2012 07:39:15 GMT

Ha! Good read.

Re: Meet the Marriage Killer

drkaje — Thu, 26 Jan 2012 21:51:56 GMT

My guess is most of the people who could benefit from that article wouldn't be bothered to read it, LOL!

I've given up on asking DGF why we seem to keep having the same conversation over and over again. Consider this a PSA, Guys: "Please tell me what answer I can give that will make you shut up for five minutes and I'll say it" does not, I repeat, not work. Seriously guys, it will only lead to more talking, LOL!

Re: Meet the Marriage Killer

izzesparks — Mon, 30 Jan 2012 08:36:32 GMT

LOL! you guys are hilarious!

just stop giving your girls something to nag about, and they will leave you alone. Also just agree with everything and just say she is right and let it go, lol!!

Also dont kill the messenger :smileywink:

Re: Meet the Marriage Killer

drkaje — Mon, 30 Jan 2012 18:02:32 GMT

izzesparks wrote:
LOL! you guys are hilarious!

just stop giving your girls something to nag about, and they will leave you alone. Also just agree with everything and just say she is right and let it go, lol!!
Also dont kill the messenger :smileywink:

I'm no expert but generally feel tolerance leads to resentment.

Re: Meet the Marriage Killer

haulingthescoreup — Mon, 30 Jan 2012 18:52:55 GMT

Plenty of communication works.

Making reasonable (as opposed to inconsiderate) requests works.

So does not procrastinating when your partner makes this reasonable request. :) I vividly remember whining at my mother about her nagging, and her reply was that if I'd clean my room when I was supposed to, she wouldn't have to keep nagging. I never could come up with a good answer for that one.

This works both ways, btw --I have a hard time believing that there are relationships where one party is ALWAYS prompt and responsible, and the other is ALWAYS foot-dragging.

Re: Meet the Marriage Killer

drkaje — Mon, 30 Jan 2012 19:41:25 GMT

Hauling,

At some point we must define "reasonable". :)

Re: Meet the Marriage Killer

haulingthescoreup — Mon, 30 Jan 2012 23:16:42 GMT

drkaje wrote:
Hauling,

At some point we must define "reasonable". :)

EXACTLY!!!!!

My own approach, since I'm lazy as sin, is to make roughly the same number and magnitude of requests as are asked of me. If I were to ask someone to climb up on the roof with a used fingernail file and clean out pine needles from between each shingle, I would have to be willing to do the equivalent in return.

And since I'm not :D, I don't make demands, errr, requests like this.

Re: Meet the Marriage Killer

GBPac12 — Fri, 03 Feb 2012 01:49:36 GMT

drkaje wrote:
My guess is most of the people who could benefit from that article wouldn't be bothered to read it, LOL!

I've given up on asking DGF why we seem to keep having the same conversation over and over again. Consider this a PSA, Guys: "Please tell me what answer I can give that will make you shut up for five minutes and I'll say it" does not, I repeat, not work. Seriously guys, it will only lead to more talking, LOL!

Yayyy!! I can't wait for marriage :smileywink:.

Re: Meet the Marriage Killer

drkaje — Fri, 03 Feb 2012 01:53:47 GMT

GBPac12 wrote:
drkaje wrote:
My guess is most of the people who could benefit from that article wouldn't be bothered to read it, LOL!

I've given up on asking DGF why we seem to keep having the same conversation over and over again. Consider this a PSA, Guys: "Please tell me what answer I can give that will make you shut up for five minutes and I'll say it" does not, I repeat, not work. Seriously guys, it will only lead to more talking, LOL!
Yayyy!! I can't wait for marriage :smileywink:.

You may as well give it a shot!! 50/50 chance of things working out. :)