When I reaffirmed my car I had to have a special hearing in front of a judge and she had to review it and sign off on it. This was seperate from my 341 meeting and the trustee was never involved in my reaffirmation hearing. So this sounds correct and that your not on the hook with the car. And by the sounds of it your lender never received it or they prob would have given you access to your account after discharge. This is what happened with me with santander consumer.
Were you represented by a bankruptcy attorney?
I can confirm in VA they require a hearing for a reaffirmation in most cases . A judge reviews your financial stituation and will make a determination if it is in your best intrest and confirms you understand what it means to do so. I had to have one even with an attorney. My attorney did sign off on the paperwork as well, and after the court date the judge issued an order approving the reaffirmation agreement. When I was in court I saw a mix of mortage and auto reaffirmations approved and denied.
The denied ones were informed of the "pay to stay \ ride through" processes as well.