@Anonymous wrote:@Anonymous We've put a lot into this home, and it is our first. If we walk away from it, we feel like we have failed. Plus, there is a moral and ethical obligation to stay put. Also, because our credit is messed up, it will be hard to get someone to rent to us. Also, moving is a pain and costly, too!
Well, the meeting with the bankruptcy attorney went well. No surprises, really. Because of our debt load, we'll be on the plan for the 60 months. The only thing we really don't like is the fact that where we live, either judge we might end up with makes us make the payments to our trustee directly from our paychecks. This means our employers will have to know. Not to thrilled about that.
We are going to take the long weekend and prayerfully consider our options. I appreciate all the advice I've been given here.
OP - I'm a little lost on that comment - what is the moral and ethical obligation to stay put? Whether or not you choose to remain in this home, it's best to make the decision based on wise and sound financial analysis. The obligation on this residence seems high in comparison to your income. I know realtors/mortgage lenders are often very happy to push/allow/encourage folks to overextend on homes. But this situation is one where the obligation on the home compared to income could be forcing you into a situation where you cannot make ends meet. Someone once coined the expression "house poor" for situations like this.
There are lots of situations in life that cause us all to rethink priorities. You may have to lay all your thinking and assumptions about what you can and should do - out on the table and re-examine everything.
Have you at any point spoken with your bank about a short sale? Could it be one of the options available to you? (I am highly unversed on that topic 
). Perhaps that wold mean you could move into something smaller - every neighborhood has some very workable options - for a few years and get your ducks in a row. A house is just a house. DH did a lot of beautiful custom building on our home. We've actually discussed it - we would sell it in a heartbeat and downsize if something came up and we couldn't afford it. And, just for the sake of comparison and perspective, our mortgage to income ratio is much less demanding than yours. Just saying to keep all your options open. And maybe release any feelings of entitlement or emotional attachments that may be closing doors or options for you. At least until later when you can afford them.
If anything is moral and ethical, it might be budgeting, paying on time, stuff like that. But it may not have anything to do with living in any given house.
Between your ponderings and mathematical calculations, hopefully you"ll find time for a fun (hey! everyone needs a break!) holiday weekend. Hope it's great!