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This is KILLING me....is there life after BK?

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Saffyreblue
Valued Member

This is KILLING me....is there life after BK?

Long story short.  In 2002, I separated from my daughter's father because he was cheating.  Canceled the wedding.....moved out of new house we just had built.  Sold the house, made small profit.  Struggled as single parent paying off all our associated debt, credit cards, etc. because he refused to pay them.....in 2005 I bought a house with my best friend's sister because we both needed a place to stay.....we took the mortgage together.  In 2008, she moved out because she couldn't afford it anymore.  I continued to pay the mortgage...taxes just took a huge leap and I want to sell the house.  She WON'T sign any papers to be able to sell.  I talked to my lender and they said they can't do anything with a modification either if she won't sign because she is on the mortgage and deed.  Went to a lawyer and was told it would cost me almost $15,000 in legal and court fees to sue her for partition to be able to sell the damn house.......he told me my only option is really to file bankruptcy because I will NEVER own the house I have already paid over $100,000 to live in.  I'm sick over it.  I spent the last 8 years cleaning up my credit, working 2 jobs instead of spending time with my daughter, etc.  just to pay off the debt my daugther's father and I accumulated....BUT I DID IT!  I was so proud of myself......now, I just found a great house to rent, and signed my lease.......so I guess I'm filing bankruptcy......my scores are between 525 and 540 right now.....but my lawyer said I'm not allowed to pay any of the debt becasue I'm not affirming the house, so even though I can afford my credit cards and loans, I can't pay them becasue you can't chose one creditor over another.  I feel like I am losing everything I worked so hard to accomplish.....and my emotions are causing problems in my current relationship.....is there life after bankruptcy?  Will I be able to get another house on my own some time in the future?  How long before my credit score goes up??

 

Thanks,

Very disheartened

Message 1 of 6
5 REPLIES 5
Anonymous
Not applicable

Re: This is KILLING me....is there life after BK?

I'm sorry to hear how hard of a time your having, Seems you really have gotten the bad end of the stick. I was in chapter 13 for 3 years before I was allowed to buy my home in 2009 with a minimum credit score of 620 needed to qualify through FHA. Its rough, I have been discharged since Jan 2010 and I still do not qualify for any loans or credit cards due to my bankruptcy. i was 20 and dumb and didnt realize I was getting in over my head but What upsets me was that  I was not ever late on any payments, even when i filed. I just couldnt afford "life" so I had to file for relief, and that doesnt seem to matter. I even ended up paying 100% of my debt through chapter 13. I was irresponsible for running  up that much debt, but I was young and lesson learned. now I suffer. I am married and have a 2 year old daughter and have had the same job for 5 years, totally different person now but creditors dont care.

 

goodluck to you.

Message 2 of 6
stacyppl
Established Member

Re: This is KILLING me....is there life after BK?

My chapter 7 bankruptcy just closed yesterday. There is life after bk because I'm still alive Smiley Happy . Do as much research on this board and others about rebuilding your credit. Do not make the same mistakes again (keep your relationships separate from your credit- in my opinion, no more joint anything). After your case has been discharged, get a secured card or 2  with a reputable bank (some banks may even offer you a card). Use it to rebuild your credit. Continue to save, save , save your money. In about 2 years, you can qualify for an FHA mortgage. Remember that money, a house, and even good credit will never be worth more than the love and joy you get from your daughter, having fulfilling relationships, and having peace of mind.


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Message 3 of 6
Anonymous
Not applicable

Re: This is KILLING me....is there life after BK?

I believe I'd also -- as clearly and plainly as possible -- spell out for your erstwhile co-borrower that your fate WILL BE her fate, too. If you declare bankruptcy and include the house, either she will be fully responsible for its mortgage, or the subsequent delinquency-**bleep**-forclosure will reflect against her credit, too. Her refusal to take any action doesn't dismiss her responsibility as a signator to the mortgage.
Message 4 of 6
krielly
Established Contributor

Re: This is KILLING me....is there life after BK?

Yes. There IS life after BK. We filed in Oct 2005, 5 year plan. Just rec'd discharge 4/9/10. Refinanced our 30 yr 6.0 percent fixed mortgage to a 15 year 4.5% fixed with cash out for a much needed boiler replacement, and some new windows & doors, and hopefully new flooring.

 

It is a long road sometimes, but patience is key. Filing is a business decision, nothing more. You do what you need to do to get your finances in order. Get out from under that house and let your co-owner take some financial heat for a change.

 

Your life WILL be different for some time. Probably several years. But what will happen if you do nothing??????? The same thing......low credit scores and constant struggling robbing peter to pay paul. Sounds like your scores are very low already. I doubt filing will have much of an impact on your scores, but that's the last thing you should worry about at this point.

 

Take the first step by getting a couple of free consults from BK attorneys in your area. That first step is tough....but once you have a plan on how to get out of this mess, you will feel much better and can start getting on with the rest of your life!

 

There is a great BK forum I visit often, much support and knowledge. It helps to talk to others in similar situations. If you like, I will PM you the link.

 

Best of luck to you!

Karen

Karen


You can't have your cake and eat it too. But you can dip your finger in the bowl and lick the icing!
Message 5 of 6
Saffyreblue
Valued Member

Re: This is KILLING me....is there life after BK?

Thank you all so much for your support and kind words.......one thing I forgot to mention, co-borrower already  planned when she moved out of the house to file for bankruptcy because she owes over $30,000 in CC debt as well as the house.....she was just waiting until I left the house because once she files, she was worried if there was any chance I would miss a payment or something.....it would negatively affect her after discharge.  SO basically it is and HAS BEEN her plan to force me into filing BK, which is why she won't sign any papers for me to sell the house, because in her words...."it'll take too long and she needs to move on."     And, I also found out that she already filed a bankruptcy 15 years ago, when her husband divorced her.  Obviously she has not learned her lesson with credit.  Okay then!

Message 6 of 6
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