Care Credit Doublespeak - Help

[Itsmeagain]

 

I'm normally pretty good at reading the fine print and figuring out what is being said in credit card term and conditions.  But today I have met my match.  Here is the content of a letter received today from Care Credit.  Anyone want to venture a guess as to what they're saying?

George Orwell would be proud . . . . 

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February 9, 2010

Dear Itsmeagain:

Re: Your CARECREDIT Account ending in1984

At a time when consumers are carefully considering their spending plans and how they manage credit, promotional financing plans from GE Money may make more sense than ever. We're sending you this notice to summarize some promotional financing plans that may be available for you when you use your CARECREDIT card for future purchases. All plans or all plan periods may not be available at every provider. This is only a summary of key terms. Additional terms and conditions of promotional financing plans will be provided to you if you select and qualify for a plan.

No Interest if Paid Within Promotional Period

(These can be advertised as Deferred Interest promotions)

Under this promotion, there is no interest on the promotional purchase if the promotional purchase is paid in full by the end of the promotional period. If the promotional purchase is not paid in full by that date, interest will accrue and be imposed from the date of purchase at the Purchase Annual Percentage Rate ("APR") of 21.98%.

We offer this promotion for periods of 6, 12, 18 or 24 months. We also offer this promo for periods that expire in January 2012.

Billed Interest Promotions

Under this promotion, we will assess interest on your promotional purchase at a special discounted promotional rate of 14.90% APR during the promotional period. After the promotional period, interest will be assessed at the Purchase APR of 21.98%.

 We offer this promotion for periods of 24, 36, 48, or 60 months.

If you select a reduced rate promotion that is available at point of sale, interest will be assessed at this rate until the promotional balance is paid in full.

Please keep this notice for your records. If you have any questions, please call us at the Customer Service number on the back of your card.

Sincerely,

GE Money Bank

Message Edited by Itsmeagain on 02-16-2010 01:36 PM

Message Edited by Itsmeagain on 02-16-2010 01:37 PM

[woozy]

Here's how I would write it:

We'll give you the money at no interest for up to 24 months. But hey, that's a helluva payment. We know you'll screw up, and if you do, we'll pop you for the whole thing, every penny, back to day one, at 21.98 interest. Capiche?

If you would rather put your chip on a different number, you can settle for 14.90 for up to 60 months, but you have to pay the 14.90 rate from day one. The clock will begin ticking on the interest before that dentist or doctor even has the first Xray done.

Can't get it paid by 60 months? Ewwww. Sorry. Please enclose first born in a stamped envelope.

[Itsmeagain]

Woozy, next time I go to Vegas I want you to come with me.  I think you'd do well.

Thanks,

IMA

[BungalowMo]

Greetings itsmeagain!

I have this card & can certainly explain part of this.  I use this mainly for my cats at the vet.  When one needed her teeth cleaned it was about $200.  The promo period for this amt was something like 8 months.  So...you have 8 mos to PIF before the (retroactive) int rate kicks in.

Depending on how much your purchase is, this promo period is based on that purchase.  A co-worker got the card when he wanted lasik.  The lasik was 5k & he was approved  for 0% int for something like 24 mos. He paid more than their min due, so to get the amt PIF before the promo period ran out.  Different promo periods for different purchase amounts.

Now...I may also have the  "Billed Interest Promotions", but I have yet to purchase anything that fell into this category.

__________________

That being said...it looks like you already have this card, right?  And this is a letter they sent you regarding your acct?  If that's the case, I'll have to keep my eyes open & watch my mailbox!  This may be a new set of terms coming out...with the new laws & all.     

[BungalowMo]

FWIW....I like woozy's answer better!  

[Uborrow-Upay]

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@woozy wrote:

Here's how I would write it:

We'll give you the money at no interest for up to 24 months. But hey, that's a helluva payment. We know you'll screw up, and if you do, we'll pop you for the whole thing, every penny, back to day one, at 21.98 interest. Capiche?

If you would rather put your chip on a different number, you can settle for 14.90 for up to 60 months, but you have to pay the 14.90 rate from day one. The clock will begin ticking on the interest before that dentist or doctor even has the first Xray done.

Can't get it paid by 60 months? Ewwww. Sorry. Please enclose first born in a stamped envelope.

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*** insert thunderous applause here...and some giggles***

[Anonymous]

woozy,

God, i wish i know you in person, i almost fell out of my chair (and am in the office!!!!!!!!!!!!!)

[Itsmeagain]

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@BungalowMo wrote:

Greetings itsmeagain!

That being said...it looks like you already have this card, right?  And this is a letter they sent you regarding your acct?  If that's the case, I'll have to keep my eyes open & watch my mailbox!  This may be a new set of terms coming out...with the new laws & all.     

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Yep, had the card since 2007.  Used it a couple of times and PIF of course.

         And yes woozy, I'm still giggling . . . .

[BBYGRL]

LMBO @ woozy...

I have this card but have yet to use it. My doggie is due for his shots. I guess I can use it and PIF before the statement drops so that it won't report and drop my score. I would like to keep it open as a "just in case CL". You never know when you might need a lift here and tuck there.

[woozy]

I'd like to get this card and get a facelift. But I'm afraid I'd end up looking like Joan Rivers.

No not from the facelift:

From seeing the bill.