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haulingthescoreup
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Registered: ‎04-01-2007
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Classic TheNewWorldMan: How the credit bureaus update your reports

From 5/1/2007 (this is the full text, despite the ellipses at the end):

 

 

TheNewWorldMan wrote:


Remember that credit bureaus use different methods to receive and process good versus bad credit information.

Information that would negatively affect your credit rating--like a late pay or charge-off--is instantly beamed from the creditor to the agency via Department of Defense 256-megabit fiber optic lines and written to their servers in 8.6 milliseconds.

Information that would positively affect your credit rating is scribed onto scrolls in special ink by Gregorian monks, which are then painstakingly illuminated. The Credit Scrolls are then placed onto camel caravans which wind their way to the credit bureau headquarters by way of Marrakesh, Dubai, and Tripoli. Once the caravan reaches Equifax, Experian or TransUnion, the scrolls are then laid out in the sun for a week so that the special ink can be read. (Note that the weather around the credit bureau headquarters is notoriously gloomy, like FICO itself, so finding seven consecutive days of sunshine can be quite an ordeal in and of itself.) Only then can the information finally be encoded into your credit files...

* Credit is a wonderful servant, but a terrible master. * Who's the boss --you or your credit?
FICO's: EQ 781 - TU 793 - EX 779 (from PSECU) - Done credit hunting; having fun with credit gardening. - EQ 590 on 5/14/2007
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crunching_numbers
Posts: 1,093
Registered: ‎02-15-2012
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Re: Classic TheNewWorldMan: How the credit bureaus update your reports

LOL! It sure does seem to take forever to see that payment applied. I am waiting now for 2 weeks for EX to remove me as an AU from 2 of DH's cards. TU and EQ were able to do it within a few days. Here I await EX...and wait...  and wait....   The ink must not be dry, or maybe there was a camel traffic jam around Dubai....


Starting Score: 693 TU FICO, 679 EQ FICO
Current Score: 748 TU(12/12), 783 TU98 , 813 TU08 FICO, 744 EQ FICO , 735 EX(9/12), 794 EX08 FICO, 809 EX08 bankcard FICO
Goal Score: 750+, but shooting for the 800's
Hyatt Visa Sig ($23K), Amex BCP (20.7K), BofA Travel Rewards ($17.5), B&N World MC ($17.3K), Amex RP Gold (NPSL w/ S&T), Cash+ Sig (15K), FNBO Visa (13.1K), Hilton Surpass (10K), Freedom Visa Sig ($8.6K), Disc It ($8K), Citi Dia Pref MC ($3.7K),Sam's D ($8.5K), Wally D ($7.5K), JCP($5.3K)
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IOBA
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Re: Classic TheNewWorldMan: How the credit bureaus update your reports

haulingthescoreup - love it!  Thanks for the chuckle.  :smileyhappy:

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golo
Posts: 364
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Re: Classic TheNewWorldMan: How the credit bureaus update your reports

Hahahaha, that just made my day,Thanks! :smileyvery-happy:

Read and read...and then....read some more....


Starting Score: 603 myfico EQ,648 myfico TU april 2012
Current Score: 608 myfico EQ
Goal Score: 660 myfico EQ july 2012??


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haulingthescoreup
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Re: Classic TheNewWorldMan: How the credit bureaus update your reports

[ Edited ]

Now that I think about it, I'm going to move this over to Credit Cards. Too many serious folks on Understanding, and it's CC where all the stressin' foks are. :smileywink:

* Credit is a wonderful servant, but a terrible master. * Who's the boss --you or your credit?
FICO's: EQ 781 - TU 793 - EX 779 (from PSECU) - Done credit hunting; having fun with credit gardening. - EQ 590 on 5/14/2007
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ctb89
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Re: Classic TheNewWorldMan: How the credit bureaus update your reports

You know you're a nerd when you read that and think "The DoD definitely has 10Gig-E fiber..."

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haulingthescoreup
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Re: Classic TheNewWorldMan: How the credit bureaus update your reports


ctb89 wrote:

You know you're a nerd when you read that and think "The DoD definitely has 10Gig-E fiber..."


Well, it was from 2007... :smileyvery-happy:

* Credit is a wonderful servant, but a terrible master. * Who's the boss --you or your credit?
FICO's: EQ 781 - TU 793 - EX 779 (from PSECU) - Done credit hunting; having fun with credit gardening. - EQ 590 on 5/14/2007
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tonyaether
Posts: 341
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Re: Classic TheNewWorldMan: How the credit bureaus update your reports

HAHA!  Love it!


Current Scores: 08/2013 EQ - 779(FICO), TU98 - 783(FICO ), TU08-818(Walmart FICO),EX PLUS-775 (FAKO) Credit Sesame - 804 (FAKO)
Wallet: Barclays Plat. Rewards MC $8.9k,Amex BCP $9.1k, CitiForward Signature $11k, Chase Freedom $3k,Target Visa $1.5k, Walmart Discover 7.5k, Delta Gold Skymiles Amex $2k
GOAL: 800 ACROSS THE BOARD!!!!
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ctb89
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Re: Classic TheNewWorldMan: How the credit bureaus update your reports


haulingthescoreup wrote:

ctb89 wrote:

You know you're a nerd when you read that and think "The DoD definitely has 10Gig-E fiber..."


Well, it was from 2007... :smileyvery-happy:


Yeah I was thinking in 2007 terms. Now they are probably using 40Gig-E for their primary backbones.

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Juan123
Posts: 496
Registered: ‎04-16-2011
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Re: Classic TheNewWorldMan: How the credit bureaus update your reports

Great laugh.


Starting Score: 575 (As Of Early 2011)
Current Score: TU: 767 EQ: 732 EX; 742 (As Of Feb 2012)
Goal Score: 750


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Long way to go ^_^

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