@Anonymous wrote:Having been married and sadly divorced twice I know from experience anything that adds to the stress of marriage can be very problematic. Money and credit issues should be thoroughly discussed before marriage so hopefully whatever issues there are can be remedied before tying the knot. While those weren't the main causes of my divorces, they certainly didn't help and added unneeded problems because we didn't address the issues beforehand. Even worse are the almost cataclysmic credit problems that can happen during a divorce. :-/
Good advice Irish!
@tiger_uppercut wrote:
@Anonymous wrote:As far as money and marriage, we tend to do better when things are a struggle. We work well as a team. I won't get into the part where the rest of the marriage kind of sucks. But, we're on the same boat financially. Married 21 years.
Between you and Irish, I'm that much more afraid to get married! Celebrating one year with my girlfriend in 2 weeks, and so far we're of the same mind credit-wise. I helped her get her first credit card (Discover) and have probably been a little....zealous in my stressing the importance of good credit to her.
If she's not complaining then I wouldn't worry about it. It's sad but money and credit were not discussed in my household growing up. Now, I talk to my son about it all the time. I don't want him to to struggle the way I did. He has made some stupid mistakes and has seen the effects it can have on his credit scores. Hopefully, he's learned his lesson.
@Anonymous wrote:
@Imperfectfuture wrote:
@Anonymous wrote:
@Imperfectfuture wrote:
@Anonymous wrote:
@Imperfectfuture wrote:
@Anonymous wrote:
@Anonymous wrote:Having been married and sadly divorced twice I know from experience anything that adds to the stress of marriage can be very problematic. Money and credit issues should be thoroughly discussed before marriage so hopefully whatever issues there are can be remedied before tying the knot. While those weren't the main causes of my divorces, they certainly didn't help and added unneeded problems because we didn't address the issues beforehand. Even worse are the almost cataclysmic credit problems that can happen during a divorce. :-/
I definately agree.. That is the one thing I refuse to budge on. I don't care if I am called a jerk for wanting transparency lol
And can even cause consternation among family. Even my clients, whom need my help in this area, are reticent to bring up numbers. I remember YIM having family issues around this in a previous topic. Divorce coupled with an unscrupulous credit spouse (new term, aka greedy person) can make things ugly.
Who is YIM?
You?
That is why I asked. You must have me confused with someone
And if you know me, I hardly post personal stuff /threads. The only thing I mention briefly is my other half is an attorney and we keep things seperate.
Sorry, thought it was you that mentioned loaning money. Slinks off in corner, have to go back to work soon.
It is ok.. I have made such mistakes like this myself you know. No biggie... He has 800 scores and have learn to respect each other so it works well for now. That is why I agreed to the inital washington post.
If I can get him on here, that will be nice but he has refused and thinks I am obsessed with credit lol
Lol! My DH accused me of the same thing 2 nights ago. You should see his eyes glaze over as I start rambling on and on about credit and maximizing our cash back rewards through regular monthly spend. It's hilarious!
@bbp....as I don't know your age, and am assuming you are black, as I am black also. I'm 41 years old, my parents didn't discuss money, let alone credit when I was growing up. I PREACH to my 17, 18 year old soon about both. He has his first job and is paid EVERY week. He's been promoted to manager and soon he'll be getting a raise. I let him enjoy his money ONLY because he needs to learn EARLY. He got his first over draft fee the other day because he used his debit card as credit instead of debit. He was heartbroken about his fee!
I say all of that to say, our culture need to discuss finances more. SHOW our children financial responsibility. If he's prepared and responsible, I can be proud. I DO NOT WANT HIM TO "FIGURE" IT OUT LIKE I HAD TO.
I say all of that to say, our culture need to discuss finances more. SHOW our children financial responsibility. If he's prepared and responsible, I can be proud. I DO NOT WANT HIM TO "FIGURE" IT OUT LIKE I HAD TO.
@BBP Just got off the phone with DBF. In one fall swoop he says tonight to get off the "credit card research thing" and go play some video games or watch a movie. 
Edit: Family vent. My Mom. My mentor. My frustration. I had to figure it all out myself. I gave her my weekly update on rebuilding and she praises me. At the same time, I wish I had the cojones to tell my maker that if I had been taught that getting a credit card would have helped me, using only 30%, how to buy a car and refinance it, how to shop for low fee bank accounts...I try and I get, "Well, you just need to learn on your own." 
She still praises me for what I've done so far.
My parents are the same way. Even in business, I am a natural nail therapist building my own business, that could be HUGE, with no support from them in no way shape or form. Mind you, my parents have been retired about 20 years. My Father is 67, my Mother, 65. Both retired from GM. My dad built the cars, my mom financed them (GMAC). Their pensions together are about 100,000 a year combined.
I asked my daddy the other day, "Dad, you want to invest?" His answer, no questions....."No" me: sad face, stupid face, mad face AND angry face!
We need to support AND teach each other.....ijs
Ok. I'm done. Back to the original topic...hahahaha
I asked my daddy the other day, "Dad, you want to invest?" His answer, no questions....."No" me: sad face, stupid face, mad face AND angry face!
We need to support AND teach each other.....ijs
Ok. I'm done. Back to the original topic...hahahaha
Oh yeah! They are high achievers with their credit.
@Anonymous wrote:@BBP Just got off the phone with DBF. In one fall swoop he says tonight to get off the "credit card research thing" and go play some video games or watch a movie.
Edit: Family vent. My Mom. My mentor. My frustration. I had to figure it all out myself. I gave her my weekly update on rebuilding and she praises me. At the same time, I wish I had the cojones to tell my maker that if I had been taught that getting a credit card would have helped me, using only 30%, how to buy a car and refinance it, how to shop for low fee bank accounts...I try and I get, "Well, you just need to learn on your own."
Make sure you talk to your children about it because you know what can happen when you don't.
With regards to telling your Mom, you should tell her. Just make sure you are respectful. If you feel you can't do it face to face then write her a letter. I feel we do our children a BIG disservice when we don't discuss topics like money and credit.
Congrats on your rebuild!