@1_2 wrote:I'm no angel. We have an adult daughter together. Regardless of our issues, regardless of the fact she is grown and living on her own, we have always been civil towards one another in front of her. In fact, we are like best friends in front of her. She would probably tell anyone we are best friends because we have both told her we are good friends. In reality, we are merely civil. He doesn't have physical access to any of my cards and never will. Now that he has his own prime card and his insurance has gone down, I will be removing him as authorized user.
He inherited his home. I worked, saved and improved my credit to get mine. His insurance agent also happens to be my agent and a mutual friend of both. We live in a rural area where everyone knows everyone else. We have put on the friendship front for everyone for the sake of our daughter, only people very, very close to either of us knows the difference. When he asked our agent why my insurance was so much cheaper than his she said it was because I have good credit and he didn't have any. She suggested to him that he should ask me about becoming an AU. UGH!
When he came to ask me about adding him my daughter was visiting. I told him I didn't think that was legal since we aren't married any more. He picked up the phone, called our agent, on speaker phone and asked her. She said different companies have different policies about who you can add and if they will or wont report them. That if they wont report it, there was no need to add him but it couldn't hurt to call and ask each company what their policy was on it. I felt pressured since this was all happening in front of our daughter so I called, hoping they would say No, you can't add him or at least no, they woudn't report him to the credit agencies. No such luck. They all said it wasn't a problem and they would report him. Capital One said they would report him an an authorized user but evidently that didn't matter. He went from having no credit, (I couldn't even pull his up on Credit Karma) to basically having good credit in about two months time. He had the insurance agent adjust his homeowners and it went down over one thousand a year. He thanked me and my daughter thanked me. I wasn't thrilled to do it but I was glad for him that his insurance went down so much.
I can't explain why it bothered me when he was approved for that Citi card. I think it was because I feared I couldn't get approved due to all the hard pulls on my credit reports. I was also envious of his limit of 2000.00. My highest limit was Walmart at 1050.00 and I was/still am hoping for a raise from that this week. He has my good payment history but doesn't suffer for any of the hard pulls. Still, because he is listed as an AU on a few of the cards, his scores aren't quite as good as mine but its still in the good category with no hard pulls. This sounds crazy and it probably is.But deep down I was resentful that he could get such a card and he hadn't been through any of the rebuilding process I had. I know that sounds horrible of me and probably makes me horrible but its how I felt. Then getting denied a measly credit limit increase on a measly 300.00 card by Capital One..It was just all too much. I think I could have stayed strong in the garden if those things hadn't happened.
Oh well. I'm a girl.
I'm glad now that I took the leap but I'm not proud of myself for the reasons I did it or the true inner feelings I had about it that no one knows about..Except you guys (my therapists) but I know you all (I'm southern) wont tell anyone.
Right?
@audia4--I'm looking at your scores and your other cards/limits in your signature. Capital One wont budge with you either? I cant for the life of me figure them out. I really cant and if anyone here has any insight to Capital Ones reasoning or lack thereof, please enlighten me. Seriously. I'd love to know.
Mumms the word 
@1_2 wrote:I'm no angel. We have an adult daughter together. Regardless of our issues, regardless of the fact she is grown and living on her own, we have always been civil towards one another in front of her. In fact, we are like best friends in front of her. She would probably tell anyone we are best friends because we have both told her we are good friends. In reality, we are merely civil. He doesn't have physical access to any of my cards and never will. Now that he has his own prime card and his insurance has gone down, I will be removing him as authorized user.
He inherited his home. I worked, saved and improved my credit to get mine. His insurance agent also happens to be my agent and a mutual friend of both. We live in a rural area where everyone knows everyone else. We have put on the friendship front for everyone for the sake of our daughter, only people very, very close to either of us knows the difference. When he asked our agent why my insurance was so much cheaper than his she said it was because I have good credit and he didn't have any. She suggested to him that he should ask me about becoming an AU. UGH!
When he came to ask me about adding him my daughter was visiting. I told him I didn't think that was legal since we aren't married any more. He picked up the phone, called our agent, on speaker phone and asked her. She said different companies have different policies about who you can add and if they will or wont report them. That if they wont report it, there was no need to add him but it couldn't hurt to call and ask each company what their policy was on it. I felt pressured since this was all happening in front of our daughter so I called, hoping they would say No, you can't add him or at least no, they woudn't report him to the credit agencies. No such luck. They all said it wasn't a problem and they would report him. Capital One said they would report him an an authorized user but evidently that didn't matter. He went from having no credit, (I couldn't even pull his up on Credit Karma) to basically having good credit in about two months time. He had the insurance agent adjust his homeowners and it went down over one thousand a year. He thanked me and my daughter thanked me. I wasn't thrilled to do it but I was glad for him that his insurance went down so much.
I can't explain why it bothered me when he was approved for that Citi card. I think it was because I feared I couldn't get approved due to all the hard pulls on my credit reports. I was also envious of his limit of 2000.00. My highest limit was Walmart at 1050.00 and I was/still am hoping for a raise from that this week. He has my good payment history but doesn't suffer for any of the hard pulls. Still, because he is listed as an AU on a few of the cards, his scores aren't quite as good as mine but its still in the good category with no hard pulls. This sounds crazy and it probably is.But deep down I was resentful that he could get such a card and he hadn't been through any of the rebuilding process I had. I know that sounds horrible of me and probably makes me horrible but its how I felt. Then getting denied a measly credit limit increase on a measly 300.00 card by Capital One..It was just all too much. I think I could have stayed strong in the garden if those things hadn't happened.
Oh well. I'm a girl.
I'm glad now that I took the leap but I'm not proud of myself for the reasons I did it or the true inner feelings I had about it that no one knows about..Except you guys (my therapists) but I know you all (I'm southern) wont tell anyone.
Right?
@audia4--I'm looking at your scores and your other cards/limits in your signature. Capital One wont budge with you either? I cant for the life of me figure them out. I really cant and if anyone here has any insight to Capital Ones reasoning or lack thereof, please enlighten me. Seriously. I'd love to know.
You are a brave women and a very strong one. You have my respect. I could have never done that for my ex and let him reap the rewards. Ugh. Courageous story and I'm so happy for you and your success.
Nope, Cap 1 won't budge with me either. I have had this $300 limit for about 1 year, maybe 8 months??? I can't remember. They have always denied me for an increase. PLUS...I pay a $59 yearly fee PLUS the interest is something like 21% if not more. I don't know. I only used it to get things started on rebuilding my credit and always PIF every bill. So, if they do not budge any time before the beginning of the year when it gets close to time to pay the yearly fee again...I will cancel and say good riddens to it. They have served their purpose for me and really no longer needed at that amount.
So definitely don't be bummed about not getting an increase with them. It happens a lot to people on here (or so they have reported).
