cancel
Showing results for 
Search instead for 
Did you mean: 

Kind of in a bind and upset....

tag
Anonymous
Not applicable

Re: Kind of in a bind and upset....

It can be difficult when you mix family and credit, especially when there not on the same page. I added my brother to help meet spend on several cards and boy was it a nightmare. Several cash advances, a car rental, not understanding the concept of credit, it created more tension and arguments then needed. Thankfully all is squared away now, but I took every card back and removed him as an authorized user. I understand your frustration and wish you the best in whatever you decide to do.

Message 11 of 24
baller4life
Super Contributor

Re: Kind of in a bind and upset....

I'm dealing with the same thing with Wal-Mart and my mom. I made her an AU on only that card because I would NEVER trust her with one of my majors. And she just can't get the concept of pif. I have preached till I'm blue in the face. Thankfully my Wal-Mart card is $10k. So I have plenty breathing room for her shenanigans.
Message 12 of 24
icyhot
Valued Contributor

Re: Kind of in a bind and upset....

I doubt they'll grant me a CLI, high balance + account is only 2 months old. My scores are about the same as when I applied
Ch 7 BK discharged 12/2018
Bank Cards: NFCU Flagship Rewards $25K | NFCU Cash Rewards $20K |NFCU More Rewards Amex $17K | PenFed Power Cash $12.5K | PenFed Platinum Rewards $12.5K | PenFed Pathfinder Rewards $10K | PenFed Gold Card $7.5K | PayPal Cashback Mastercard $5K | Apple Card $3.5K
Store Cards: Bergdorf Goodman $10.5K | Neiman Marcus $7.5K | Care Credit $7K |
Scores: EX 656 | EQ 667 | TU 680


Goal Card: Amex Platinum (Amex IIB, waiting for 5 year mark)
Message 13 of 24
Anonymous
Not applicable

Re: Kind of in a bind and upset....

Remove your mom. I am a mom. I would hope either of my daughters would remove me if I behaved like that if I were an AU. Many parents behave the same way and have their credit hurt by their children. Sounds like you are the other side of that. Just my humble opinion. No offense intended.

 

 

In my wallet: Venture 15k; Barclay Ring 12.5k; Discover 10k; CareCredit 7.7k; Amazon Store Card 5k. QS 5k; BofA Travel Rewards 3.5k; BofA Travel Rewards 3.5k; BofA Platinum Visa 2k; Barclay Apple Rewards 2k. Total Credit: 66,200. 7/1-FICO: EQ - 789; TU - 781; EX - 690; GOAL: 780 across the board then 800 across the board. Inquiries: EQ: 4; TU: 7; EX 7; Chapter 13 seven years May, 2015. Reset my garden date to 6/27. Gardening until further notice.

Message 14 of 24
icyhot
Valued Contributor

Re: Kind of in a bind and upset....

No offense taken, I knew my mom had credit problems, I had no idea how severe and I didn't think that they came just from blatant irresponsibility. And the fact that she thinks credit = money doesn't help either
Ch 7 BK discharged 12/2018
Bank Cards: NFCU Flagship Rewards $25K | NFCU Cash Rewards $20K |NFCU More Rewards Amex $17K | PenFed Power Cash $12.5K | PenFed Platinum Rewards $12.5K | PenFed Pathfinder Rewards $10K | PenFed Gold Card $7.5K | PayPal Cashback Mastercard $5K | Apple Card $3.5K
Store Cards: Bergdorf Goodman $10.5K | Neiman Marcus $7.5K | Care Credit $7K |
Scores: EX 656 | EQ 667 | TU 680


Goal Card: Amex Platinum (Amex IIB, waiting for 5 year mark)
Message 15 of 24
Anonymous
Not applicable

Re: Kind of in a bind and upset....


@icyhot wrote:
No offense taken, I knew my mom had credit problems, I had no idea how severe and I didn't think that they came just from blatant irresponsibility. And the fact that she thinks credit = money doesn't help either

I think the credit=money is a common problem. Part of my financial life was re-educating myself and it was a very painful process indeed. Good luck. You are a good daughter...

 

 

In my wallet: Venture 15k; Barclay Ring 12.5k; Discover 10k; CareCredit 7.7k; Amazon Store Card 5k. QS 5k; BofA Travel Rewards 3.5k; BofA Travel Rewards 3.5k; BofA Platinum Visa 2k; Barclay Apple Rewards 2k. Total Credit: 66,200. 7/1-FICO: EQ - 789; TU - 781; EX - 690; GOAL: 780 across the board then 800 across the board. Inquiries: EQ: 4; TU: 7; EX 7; Chapter 13 seven years May, 2015. Reset my garden date to 6/27. Gardening until further notice.

Message 16 of 24
Anonymous
Not applicable

Re: Kind of in a bind and upset....

Sorry to hear! Best thing you can do is take her off the CSP after your trip. Sometimes you have to separate your finances and your family.
Message 17 of 24
barbaralee
Established Contributor

Re: Kind of in a bind and upset....

My mom I could completely trust as an AU. She is amazing with credit, pays in full every month, and knows the game very well... Although in her retirement years she is bored with it all and has only used one card for the last few years. Plus she would never do anything to hurt her own credit, much less mine. 

My brother, on the other hand, lolololol.... If I put him on as an AU he would run straight to the bars and announce that drinks are on him. He is the type who loves to throw around money he doesn't have. As a rule I generally try to meet spend on my own. I did buy my mom plane tickets to visit me, but that is as far as it goes. 

Message 18 of 24
Callandra
Valued Contributor

Re: Kind of in a bind and upset....


@icyhot wrote:
I have removed her from one card to keep her from running that one up too, it's the Venture and the balance is only $200. I don't want to remove the CSP because she's going out of town and she'll need it for confirmation of the hotel and car I booked. I added her to help her credit but now I'm thinking it was a bad idea because she's the reason my Macy's balance is so high, and she doesn't seem to be able to grasp the concept of high balances = bad. So I don't know. I'm just trying to be a good daughter :-/

You are NOT a bad daughter. I think it's really kind of you to help your mom. 

 

You might want to have a talk with her about when she uses your card that she needs to give you the cash (in full) right away so you can pay off what she's charging. If she's treating the card like free money, that's an issue and if she's an AU on your card, you will be held responsible for it, not her. If she cannot do this, you might want to remove her as an AU. I don't think CSP has 0% (?) so you are going to accrue interest on it as well. 

 

I would trust my parents as AUs (they have excellent credit, no debt) but not all family is necessarily trustworthy. I'm lucky to not have this problem with family but I see it with my fiance's family. His mom is constantly bailing out his younger sister (she's run up her cards again) and I told him that his mom really should stop bailing her out (his parents are in major debt as well, that's not helping them!). I know it's none of my business but if you keep bailing people out, they will never learn. 

Quicksilver $10,000 | Better Balance Rewards $2000 | Sallie Mae $3500 | Freedom $3500

Last HP: 9/27/2015
Message 19 of 24
TRC_WA
Senior Contributor

Re: Kind of in a bind and upset....


@Anonymous wrote:

It can be difficult when you mix family and credit, especially when there not on the same page. I added my brother to help meet spend on several cards and boy was it a nightmare. Several cash advances, a car rental, not understanding the concept of credit, it created more tension and arguments then needed. Thankfully all is squared away now, but I took every card back and removed him as an authorized user. I understand your frustration and wish you the best in whatever you decide to do.


I wouldn't trust my brother but I did add my Dad to my Sallie Mae card when I opened it 6 months ago.  He has a limited credit history and is on a fixed income... so I decided to help him out.

 

He's charged anywhere from $800-$1500 each month and has always PIF.  I have no reason not to continue.

 

I made it clear from the start not to charge what he can't PIF.  So far, he hasn't.

FICO8 current as of : 4-17-24 EQ: 724 TU: 707 EX: 706
Hard INQs last 12 months: EQ: 5 | TU: 8 | EX: 9
Verizon Visa $8500 Amex Delta Reserve $10,000 Care Credit $18,000
NFCU CashRewards $7500 Apple Card $7000 Best Buy $8000 Amazon $5000
NFCU auto loan (2022 Ford Bronco Sport Badlands - Cactus Gray) 6.95%
NFCU motorcycle loan (2024 Harley Davidson Road Glide - Alpine Green & Chrome) 9.45%
Total CL: $64,000 --- Total CC UTI: 27% --- AAoA: 5.5 years --- Income: $200k
Last app: 4-6-24
Message 20 of 24
Advertiser Disclosure: The offers that appear on this site are from third party advertisers from whom FICO receives compensation.