Maxing out credit cards, carrying over balances, and paying in full

[Anonymous]

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@Uborrow-Upay wrote:

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@Anonymous wrote:

I literaly don't know. I'm asking this question because sometimes my mother lies to me and says "oh well I don't have any money right now" when she in fact does. So I was just curious if this was another "excuse" from her trying to say she can't do anything about it. She, knowing I barely know much about credit cards, would probably pull this on me. But that's a moot point for now since whatever she paid for appears to be working even though she "maxed out her credit cards".

I seriously don't know what she maxed it out on nor how she could have without my dad giving her an earfull. Since I haven't heard anything, I'll just assume she's lying again. She understands credit and debt VERY well. She's still trying to pay off the house from her most prominent mistakes in the past, at least that is what she told me. She has bad credit to say the least, I know that for sure. She doesn't care to prioritize paying off debt over buying mundane toys for my two little brothers every now and then.

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I don't want to start anything here, but the thought has crossed my mind that you should watch your own credit reports pretty closely.  There are a number of threads on these boards about family members "borrowing" identities of children, siblings, etc. to obtain credit that they can't get as themselves.

Just something to keep an eye on, without knowing anything more about Mom than what you've already stated here... 

No disrespect intended to her or you. 

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No offense taken. At best my relationship with her is a "just business" relationship which is perfectly fine with me. She would have to get deep into debt for her to start using my identity as an escape. Don't worry, I'll keep an eye on my finances and credit activity.

[Anonymous]

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Ayemageyene wrote: 

I literally don't know. I'm asking this question because sometimes my mother lies to me and says "oh well I don't have any money right now" when she in fact does. So I was just curious if this was another "excuse" from her trying to say she can't do anything about it. She, knowing I barely know much about credit cards, would probably pull this on me. But that's a moot point for now since whatever she paid for appears to be working even though she "maxed out her credit cards".

I seriously don't know what she maxed it out on nor how she could have without my dad giving her an earfull. Since I haven't heard anything, I'll just assume she's lying again. She understands credit and debt VERY well. She's still trying to pay off the house from her most prominent mistakes in the past, at least that is what she told me. She has bad credit to say the least, I know that for sure. She doesn't care to prioritize paying off debt over buying mundane toys for my two little brothers every now and then.

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This thread was answered really well. I wanted to add on a different note, credit status doesn't describe whether someone can or can't afford things. Maxed out or no debt is a condition of how someone handles credit and in some cases can show concerns of building debt. Maxed generally indicates someone might be in worst shape, however paid in full or full payment doesn't mean someone can afford more either. The idea is not to go in to debt. If spending money will create or increase debt, you can't afford it. But lots of us buy things on credit we can't afford and eventually pay it off. That doesn't mean just because we can do it, that we can afford to. If you have enough money to live your lifestyle and not create debt than you probably can afford it. It's not how much debt you have, or how much more room you have to grow debt, it's simply whether or not you create debt that matters. Not all debt is bad, debt that is out of control is very bad. What you can and can't afford is judged by income, spending and other factors. Debt is just a tool to manage money.

The answer is pretty simple though. All income, All expenses, All other financial responsibilities = What can I afford. Seeing what people do and how they spend doesn't always indicate, actually rarely indicates what they can afford. Looks are deceiving.

Credit cards are just like debit cards. You can loose them with out loosing your money. Where as debit cards you need to worry about how much is in your bank account, with credit cards you use the credit companies bank account, then they send you a bill asking for you to pay it back. It's just to make life easier so you don't have to carry around cash and simple to pay over the phone, internet stuff like that. Credit lines never indicate what you can afford to spend, only control you from over spending if you can't control your self. Credit cards are generally used for convienent payment methods not to borrow money like a loan. Each time you swipe your credit card you should see it as pulling money out of your wallet.

You wrote "mother lies to me and says "oh well I don't have any money right now" when she in fact does" How do you know she has money? She could have a wallet with thousands of dollars in it, owe twice as much, technically she doesn't have any money if that were the case. Money is not what you can see in front of you in this respect. I don't think she meant she was out of money, think she meant the money was already going to be used for debt already spent. I had a wallet full of cash recently. Friends said wow, you've got lots of money. I said, nope, I'm taking it to the bank to pay a bill. The money in my wallet while in my hand was already spent somewhere else. Just because I had it, technically belonged to the business that let me pay on credit. I'll give you one more example. If you borrowed $100 from me and said you would pay me back in 1 week. In one week you had $100 in your wallet, do you have money? It looks that way, but if you owe me $100 and plan to pay it back, you have no spendable money, yet have it right in your hand. If you spend in before paying me back, how could you pay me? Having money is not determined by your eyes

But what you are saying is she says no money but keeps spending. I understand this. It's just a lot more complicated than it seems. Money doesn't grow in trees, well for some people, but generally it doesn't. She is choosing what she can spend on and what she can't. There is only so much to go around and just like cash it runs out. Just because the card allows her to spend more doesn't mean she has the "cash" to pay it back with. It's might be budgeting. If spending XXX on this there is ZZZ left for food, ect. Not everyone expresses things as acurately.

Message Edited by ilovepizza on 02-26-2010 08:54 PM

[Anonymous]

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@Anonymous wrote:

You wrote "mother lies to me and says "oh well I don't have any money right now" when she in fact does" How do you know she has money? She could have a wallet with thousands of dollars in it, owe twice as much, technically she doesn't have any money if that were the case. Money is not what you can see in front of you in this respect. I don't think she meant she was out of money, think she meant the money was already going to be used for debt already spent. I had a wallet full of cash recently. Friends said wow, you've got lots of money. I said, nope, I'm taking it to the bank to pay a bill. The money in my wallet while in my hand was already spent somewhere else. Just because I had it, technically belonged to the business that let me pay on credit. I'll give you one more example. If you borrowed $100 from me and said you would pay me back in 1 week. In one week you had $100 in your wallet, do you have money? It looks that way, but if you owe me $100 and plan to pay it back, you have no spendable money, yet have it right in your hand. If you spend in before paying me back, how could you pay me? Having money is not determined by your eyes.

Message Edited by ilovepizza on 02-26-2010 08:46 PM

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Paper thin walls, big mouth, and the fact that this is not the first time she has understated how much she has to stop the questions and requests. Those three things in addition to her big history of lying, those first two only reinforce the fact that she still lies about her finances to her family. Edit: Oh, I might add that she doesn't mind leaving her bank statements, bills, other financial documents lying around on the living room table or on the counters.She's very disorganized.

Oh, it's not more complicated than it seems with her. Trust me, I know first hand.

Message Edited by Ayemageyene on 02-26-2010 06:56 PM

[armywifey85]

Well why do you care so much about her finances? Maybe she lies because its none of your business no disrespect. I have an Uncle that was always telling his kids he was broke. He did that because those grown up kids would'nt stop asking for money. He died last week and had thousands of dollars. Everyone thought he was broke all this time when in fact he had over 750,000 in the bank. Oh and he did'nt leave but 500 to his kids lol he left the rest to charity.

[Anonymous]

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@armywifey85 wrote:

Well why do you care so much about her finances? Maybe she lies because its none of your business no disrespect. I have an Uncle that was always telling his kids he was broke. He did that because those grown up kids would'nt stop asking for money. He died last week and had thousands of dollars. Everyone thought he was broke all this time when in fact he had over 750,000 in the bank. Oh and he did'nt leave but 500 to his kids lol he left the rest to charity.

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When your 43 year old parent asks you, a young adult, for money to pay for the bills, it becomes your business whether the rest of the world likes it or not, no disrespect.