Creditwhere's advice (and the others) is well taken. It is vital to spend time with a proven professional to get the facts--and you should do that with your husband.
It is also important to understand the core of the problem--fully. This means sitting down with your husband alone, in a place that you will not be disturbed for several hours, and writing a plan (after you've met with a sound professional). Some of the plan details should be correcting the behaviors that got you where you are. An example is the commitment to cutting non-essential spending. Two areas immediately available are the dinners out--you said that you have cut back, but you should consider completely cutting off for now. Another is the satellite TV. If you are getting the internet, cancel the TV. You can see most of the shows you want off their websites and going without the TV will validate a strong commitment to your goal of getting out of debt as soon as possible. Though this may sound borderline extreme, I've counseled many people in debt and too many of those are content to only change some things about their habits, but not enough to make clear progress.
Another strong move is to do the bills with your husband. Plan the time and do it together. You are a team and need the support 100% of the time. Paying bills when your heavily in debt is a very stressful situation--help each other by teaming up on this.
If the advice given and taken is to pay down the debt, check the excellent threads on this forum regarding the proper way to pay your cards down.
The support on this forum is strong, because many understand that credit and credit cards, and the positive and negative effects of both are perspective and behavior driven. Understand that you've taken a big step forward posting and will need to continue with great focus to improve your situation. As others have posted---it is possible.
Starting Score: TU 766 EQ 788
@Anonymous wrote:I'm a complete newbie to this forum, and just looking to put it all on the table and hopefully hear back from someone that they were once in my shoes, and were able to work their way out (and maybe offer some suggestions)
I'll start by saying that I would consider my household to be "upper-middle class", and there is no good reason for us to be in debt the way we are. There are no excuses, just the "gotta have it now" attitude I guess. Our total credit card debt is, OMG are you ready for this, almost $55,000! Interest rates range from 11.15% on the low end to 29.99% on the high end--CRAZY, I know!
Thing is, with all this debt,and no extra money available each month, we can't make much more than the minimum payments. Second mortgage isn't an option because our DR is SO HIGH. We are paying about $2000 per month on credit card payments, and well over half of that is going to the interest alone. In many cases, almost 75% of the minimum payment goes to interest. Consolidation loan--same thing--too high of a DR and no one would give us a loan.
According to the CB report, I've managed to pay everything on time (although I know for a fact that I've had some over 30-days along the way--don't know why they are not showing up, but glad for it). The negative factors are too much debt, one collection agency (medical--and should be another one on there), ratio of available credit to balances on cc's. I've managed to hold it together for all of these years, but my I'm about to snap! If it weren't for the tax return this year, I don't know how I would have managed to get the bills paid. I'm constantly Robbing Peter to Pay Paul, using every day of grace periods, and going right up to the 30-day mark, and sometimes beyond. The late fees are costing extra money too! Credit card companies are not willing to negotiate a better rate for us--seems we are not far enough in default to qualify for this. But I'm trying to avoid that situation of being in default!
OK, enough of that. I know what the problem is. Now I need the solution. Yes, we've stopped using all the credit cards. My husband was the biggest abuser, so I've made him take over paying the bills each month, so he gets the big picture--not sure if that is a good idea or not. We are even trying to sell off things just to pay down this debt. Any other "realistic" suggestions? Any would be greatly appreciated. Thank you so much!
tophat - first know that you are far from the first, or last, to be in this circumstance. Easy and loose credit seduces many. It's just so darn easy to fall into and is the reason, as you now understand, why you have to guard and even overcompensate to avoid this type of circumstance.
With that said, the following suggestions (are just that, suggestions) may provide some food for thought.
1. Have a written budget which charts all income and all expenses.
2. Immediately kill all non-essentials (going out to eat, fast food, movie rentals or theaters, impulse buys).
3. Evaluate your spending habits of essentials, such as food, personal care, house hold goods (cleaning), etc. Simplify the food categories and buy less convenience food. Change to generic and store labels on food and personal care and household. This will save on average 20% on these type of expenses.
4. Turn your AC thermostat up to 79 or 80 degrees. Turn your heating thermostat setting down to 68 degrees. Change your light bulbs (as necessary) with compact florescent. Unplug your those items that are not in use (DVD players, TV's, Stereos, etc. all have continual power use even when the power button is off). This will save you at least 10-15% on average in electric/utility expenses.
5. Tune your car, properly inflate your tires, keep oil/maintenance up to date. This can save 5% on fuel.
6. DRIVE 3 miles per hour UNDER the speed limit. Use cruise control whenever possible. Take freeway or routes with as few stop lights/signs. This will save 10% on fuel.
7. Stop driving non-essentially. Walk, bike or wait till you can combine the trip with other errands or when all ready going that direction. Carpool if possible. Take public transportation if possible. This can save 10% or more on fuel.
8. Have a garage sale, ebay/craigslist sale. Sell stuff you have accumulated that is in the closet, attic, garage, under bed, laying around or in paid storage. Sell stuff you don't use, don't need, don't remember or is stuff you can live without (luxuries).
9. Consider cutting back or cancelling premium cable/satellite channels, internet or phone upgrades, cell phone plans can be reduced or eliminated, magazine and newspaper subscriptions, online site subscriptions, other recurring non-essentials (don't say you don't have any until you have a written budget which has gone over your monthly statements of all credit cards, checking and check cards for the past 6 months). It is amazing how much these type of things can add up to.
10. Get a second or third part time job. Husband and wife, if possible, work some extra hours overtime or on another part time job. Even if it is minimum wage, a couple hundred each month (or more) is over $2400 per year in extra principle.
11. Analyze your insurance premiums. Is there any fat that can be trimmed. Don't eliminate responsible coverage, but maybe look at limits, extras, riders, etc. and see if there is anything that can be trimmed.
12. Take an approved Driving Classes which will provide additional discouts toward your auto insurance.
13. Look at your credit cards and see if you have any BT options from a higher rate card to lower rate card (check the fees and make sure it makes sense).
14. Look at family opportunites. Do you have the ability to borrow from parents or other family for an initial period till you get your finances under control? Yes, it is hard and you have to swallow pride, but if you are paying 24,99% for your pride, plus late fees....well, swallow hard and bite the bullet if you have this option.
15. Can you take a loan or draw against any retirement plans (that won't cost too much penalty)?
16. Cut your own lawn and do your own yard care (if you don't all ready).
17. Have children who are old enough get part time jobs and begin to cover some of their own extra curricular expenses. This is a great education on life and pays dividends in many ways. Sit down with them and make family goals so that it is not a sacrifice, but family adventure. Discuss the benefits and freedom you will have in 1 or 2 years.
18. Call your CCC's and ask for rate reductions, even if for just a temporary period of time. They may not, but some might.
19. Begin the snowball approach on paying the cards down. Start by paying the minimums on all cards except either the lowest balance or highest APR card. Then put all extra resources from above on this single account. Pay it down hard and fast. Once this account is paid, apply all that was being paid on it to the next lowest balance or next highest rate card. Repeat till it is paid, then go on to the next, then next. Each time you pay an account off, make sure you are not using it or running it up again.
20. Listen to Dave Ramsey (yes, take the radical approach and advice till you are in a better position).
Well, as you can see, there are many ways to come up with a little extra, but the combination of all makes quite a bit. You can probably come up with even more.
Good luck and work hard, it's worth it! 
