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So ashamed and devastated

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MontegoMack
Frequent Contributor

Re: So ashamed and devastated

JK: Thank you. I certainly appreciate your defense. 

 

2. Charging high balances when you just opened the card a month ago. Do you really think it's wise to charge up 3 grand in your first month?

 

Yes, I do think it was wise to charge up 3 grand in my first month. You have no idea how much is comfortable for me to spend, but I can tell you that $3k is easy for me to financially manage. Quite frankly, all I did was use AMEX as my primary means of payment, instead of cash and instead of other credit cards. I'm sorry you feel the need to insinuate judgement based on a dollar amount. I made it clear that the CU even wrote an memo to AMEX saying that the funds were available at the time of the attempt to pay. What is it that you don't get about that? I can afford it. I haven't been financially irresponsible in charging in the past, so why on earth do you think that I would choose to be irresonsible in my charging now? 

 

All: Feel free to not omment if you aren't going to read and comprehend my posts. Also, feel free to think twice before passing judgement.

 

 

 

AmEx Platinum - AmEx BCP - Chase Freedom - NFCU Platinum - Chase Amazon Prime - Citi Costco - Citi Best Buy
Message 61 of 82
webhopper
Moderator Emeritus

Re: So ashamed and devastated

I think its unfortunate that they closed your account when obviously you had the funds and made the payment on time. I was thinking that they had tried 3 times; which is what amex told me when I talked to them about this same issue. I guess they have different criteria between charge cards and revolver cards.

I still think you should call executive office... if they don't budge then take your business elsewhere. And possibly take your banking business elsewhere. My bank would have called before rejecting a payment. I sent a payoff to GM financial; 16k. I sure enough got a phone call to make sure it was valid.

There is some good general advice in what was posted by some members; take it as you see fit and if you feel as though the advice doesn't fit; ignore it... Smiley Happy

Good luck!
FICO 9:
Filed Chapter 13 on 6/1/2017 after job loss. Discharged 6/1/2022.

Goal: Gardening!


Message 62 of 82
Tommy5746
Regular Contributor

Re: So ashamed and devastated


@HappySoda wrote:

Even if people look beyond the frozen payment there are plenty of other red flags.

 

1. Trusting boyfriend to pay off your bills

 

2. Charging high balances when you just opened the card a month ago. Do you really think it's wise to charge up 3 grand in your first month?

 

3. Having a 3rd party (boyfriend) pay from his account instead of paying you and you paying them from your account.

 

Anybody who was scrutinizing your account would think it looks weird. New account opens up. The user charges 3 grand. Then their payment backs out. The payment isn't made by the account holder but by some guy across the United States. Heck, I think it's weird and I don't even work for AMEX. What you're failing to do is take responsibility for all of this. None of this would have happened if your BF wasn't an AU and if you paid your bill directly on your own. Once you start bringing in significant others, third party payments, bank freezes. You created this perfect storm. I'm pretty sure that if you had paid the bill from your own account there wouldn't have been an issue. Lesson learned - pay your own bills and don't let others make your payments. If you haven't learned from this then there's no sense in being ashamed. The shame would come from not seeing how you played a role in the closing of your AMEX.


 

It’s a shame that you don’t truly trust people... For me, that’s no way to live life. Of course I wouldn’t trust a random person off the street to pay my bills for me.. But a loved one, I would. In the event that the person I trusted "burned" me then I would not allow them to help me with my finances again. Also, this is the OP's card.. they can charge any amount on the card that they are allowed to! They can choose to make minimum payments or PIF... they can pay the day before its due or the after they make the charges.. It’s solely up to them.. This thread isn’t to chastise the OP for allowing a loved one to pay their bill.. It’s to obtain new ideas on how to resolve the situation.. So stick with the topic of HELPING the OP.. Not criticizing them..

Goal: 700 and an Amex Card!

Chicks Dig Guys With Good Credit Smiley Happy
Message 63 of 82
Anonymous
Not applicable

Re: So ashamed and devastated

As someone who generally doesn't trust people very much, I can certainly understand people's points about not letting anyone else be responsible for paying one's bills.  But I also don't know the full nature of the relationship between the OP and her boyfriend, so I'm not really sure if the OP made a mistake by letting her boyfriend make her payment or not.  I also don't think charging three grand is necessarily an issue for your first month, it depends on credit score, reported income and historical spending patterns on other accounts.  If you reported $25K income and have never charged more than $500 in a month on any other account before, sure.  If you make $150K and regularly charge that amount each month on a credit card, should be no issue.

 

Anyway, OP, I'd bet that atleast 9 times out of 10 in that situation, everything would have worked out fine.  But there are some things I wonder about, like if your first payment coming from someone else's account and then not processing was what caused Amex to just close the account right away.  Also, your boyfriend's CU might have recently pulled his credit report and not seen Amex on there, plus the payment being a fairly significant sum could have triggered the freeze.  I think you should do your best to explain the situation to Amex and try to get your accounts reopened.  But if you can't, don't feel that bad, just look for another lender and probably be a little more careful, atleast when the account is so new.

Message 64 of 82
codimom
Frequent Contributor

Re: So ashamed and devastated

I think it sucks, and hopefully a well timed call to the exec office will help. 

I know in MY case, my CORP CARD payment was returned... because dumasrse that I was i made a typo on the account number.  I caught it and paid it the next day... so no AF on my accounts.  But it just goes to show that mistakes happen, and hopefully they'll see it.

if not... take your business to another lender.  Their loss, new cards gain!

Back in the garden!
App free since 23Oct2012 reset to 27Aug13 and reset again 4nov13
Message 65 of 82
adavis425
Established Contributor

Re: So ashamed and devastated


@webhopper wrote:

 

That's odd that they would close it after the first attempt... was this your first payment?. I ran into a situation where a funds transfer was initiated by me; from nfcu shares account to state farm checking. The cash showed up in my account. Paid amex; the funds transfer was reversed by state farm bank. Causing the first attempt to be unsuccessful. Amex did not close my account... literally I called them the minute I knew there was a problem... they didn't seem worried; certainly they didn't close my account or FR me...

Amexs second attempt was successful; as I had several deposits and direct deposit all going in the next day.

 

Web, I was going to say something similar. I once had a returned payment with AMEX and was simply charged a $30? fee and the payment cleared upon second presentation. Now, it wasn't a $3000 payment, prob more like $1000-$1500, but still I heard nothing from them about it-just the fee. As you said, they didn't seem to care. It is odd that they would close the account right off the bat. Is there more to the story??Smiley Indifferent

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Message 66 of 82
webhopper
Moderator Emeritus

Re: So ashamed and devastated


@adavis425 wrote:

@webhopper wrote:

 

That's odd that they would close it after the first attempt... was this your first payment?. I ran into a situation where a funds transfer was initiated by me; from nfcu shares account to state farm checking. The cash showed up in my account. Paid amex; the funds transfer was reversed by state farm bank. Causing the first attempt to be unsuccessful. Amex did not close my account... literally I called them the minute I knew there was a problem... they didn't seem worried; certainly they didn't close my account or FR me...

Amexs second attempt was successful; as I had several deposits and direct deposit all going in the next day.

 

Web, I was going to say something similar. I once had a returned payment with AMEX and was simply charged a $30? fee and the payment cleared upon second presentation. Now, it wasn't a $3000 payment, prob more like $1000-$1500, but still I heard nothing from them about it-just the fee. As you said, they didn't seem to care. It is odd that they would close the account right off the bat. Is there more to the story??Smiley Indifferent


It may have been the first payment, or one of the first payments on the account, not really sure. 

 

Amex did not charge me a $30 fee.

 

Also, my issue was on a charge account, the OPs issue was on a revolver account,  not sure if there are differences regarding the two.  In my experience, the first 45 days and the first statement payment are critical... I had an issue with Chase on my first payment with them (typed a digit wrong) and they closed my account! I realized the mistake and made another payment, so I wasn't late at all, the account was paid in full before it was due.   I called to ask what's up! about the account closure and they reopened it after they realized that the second payment account number was correct, and was one digit different than the first payment account number.

 

For anyone who wants to read this thread here is the link:

 

http://ficoforums.myfico.com/t5/Credit-Cards/Chase-Closed-my-account-then-reopened-it-Update/m-p/133...

 

What's interesting about this thread is that even though I was aggravated at Chase, I was more than willing to walk away if they didn't correct the situation. 

 

Also, I learned some lessons from my experience, they are in red in that thread, ... which oddly mirrors what HappySoda posted in this thread.

FICO 9:
Filed Chapter 13 on 6/1/2017 after job loss. Discharged 6/1/2022.

Goal: Gardening!


Message 67 of 82
tinuviel
Moderator Emeritus

Re: So ashamed and devastated

Here's what I am NOT hearing from the OP's story:

 

"I thought my boyfriend made the payment but he just spaced out on it."

"I waited until 11PM the day the payment was due before submitting it."

"I didn't have the funds available, but put the payment through hoping that it would 'float' for a day or so before hitting my bank."

 

What I AM hearing is that the payment was made on time but was rejected by the CU because it seemed unusual and they put a freeze on the account as a result.

 

I am not getting the impression that the OP treated her account with Amex in an irresponsible manner. The payment was made on time and she had no reason to believe that the bank was going to reject it. This was an action on the CU's part that the OP couldn't have reasonably forseen, and if this had happened to me I would ask them to write a letter on my behalf to Amex explaining the situation.

 

There's a fine line between constructive criticism and scolding. We all have different ways of handling our accounts: how often we log in to check them, how close to the due date we pay, pushing/pulling payments or mailing them in, etc. Let's please not insist that someone who doesn't handle their accounts in a manner identical to us is irresponsible and doesn't deserve to have the account. Instead, let's try to keep this conversation respectful and constructive. Thank you.

 

To the OP, I would urge you to contact Amex and see if they will accept some form of communication from the CU and work with you to reinstate the account. You have nothing to lose. My best wishes to you for a successful resolution.

 


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Message 68 of 82
Tommy5746
Regular Contributor

Re: So ashamed and devastated


@tinuviel wrote:

Here's what I am NOT hearing from the OP's story:

 

"I thought my boyfriend made the payment but he just spaced out on it."

"I waited until 11PM the day the payment was due before submitting it."

"I didn't have the funds available, but put the payment through hoping that it would 'float' for a day or so before hitting my bank."

 

What I AM hearing is that the payment was made on time but was rejected by the CU because it seemed unusual and they put a freeze on the account as a result.

 

I am not getting the impression that the OP treated her account with Amex in an irresponsible manner. The payment was made on time and she had no reason to believe that the bank was going to reject it. This was an action on the CU's part that the OP couldn't have reasonably forseen, and if this had happened to me I would ask them to write a letter on my behalf to Amex explaining the situation.

 

There's a fine line between constructive criticism and scolding. We all have different ways of handling our accounts: how often we log in to check them, how close to the due date we pay, pushing/pulling payments or mailing them in, etc. Let's please not insist that someone who doesn't handle our accounts in a manner identical to us is irresponsible and doesn't deserve to have the account. Instead, let's try to keep this conversation respectful and constructive. Thank you.

 

To the OP, I would urge you to contact Amex and see if they will accept some form of communication from the CU and work with you to reinstate the account. You have nothing to lose. My best wishes to you for a successful resolution.

 


+ 1,000,000

Goal: 700 and an Amex Card!

Chicks Dig Guys With Good Credit Smiley Happy
Message 69 of 82
trumpet-205
Valued Contributor

Re: So ashamed and devastated

Keep in mind AMEX charges $25 to reopen an account, should they decide to reopen it.

Message 70 of 82
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