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Valued Contributor
creditnocash
Posts: 2,196
Registered: ‎07-23-2012
0

Re: So ashamed and devastated

personally i use google chrome broweser and have a folder in the bookmarks bar with all the login sites for all my accounts (bank/credit/anything with money) i hit open all in tabs and look over one by one, Daily! that way there is no unfortunate circumstances.  

 

and op i wish the best of luck to you. 

id talk to your cu to unfreeze and call the exec office and explain that you had the money and the cu was at fault. they would probably want something with the cu letter head saying that since it was a new account they flagged the payment so they would not be liable for it. 

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Regular Contributor
MontegoMack
Posts: 201
Registered: ‎01-21-2012
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Re: So ashamed and devastated


3. They may not have actually have the money at the time of purchase, and was waiting for payday in order to pay Amex

 

I was able to get  a letter from the CU where they actually take the blame for not clearing the payment because they initiated a freeze on the grounds of potential fraudulent activity. They even declared that the funds were available at the time of the attempt to pay.

 

 

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Valued Member
afjock21
Posts: 138
Registered: ‎09-26-2012
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Re: So ashamed and devastated


adavis425 wrote:

While I do hope this works out for OP, I can't even imagine not checking my accounts frequently. NOBODY makes my payments for me BUT me and I still check easily 4-5 times a week. I have the above-mentioned alerts on all accounts and you just can't go wrong with a backup bank/cu account. Credit building/rebuilding requires too much work and is too tenuous to be left in someone else's hands. IMO.


Got that right. It takes a long long time to build credit and one stupid late or whatnot and it's like you're some kind of convicted felon! It's BS!!

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MontegoMack
Posts: 201
Registered: ‎01-21-2012
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Re: So ashamed and devastated

Through this whole thread I've been amazed at how many people have quickly jumped to far reaching conclusions. 

 

It wasn't that I didn't check my account for "weeks." It was only a matter of a few days in which this happened. When I spoke with a finance review person at AMEX, she made it clear that once the payment didn't clear the FIRST TIME, they closed the account. THEN they make another attempt for payment.

 

Has it occurred to some of you Debbie Downers that since I've been responsibile enough to have earned these cards, why would I purposely be irresponsible - as you make it out to seem? This WASN'T my fault, though I do feel badly about it. This CU honestly believes that they were acting in good faith and on my behalf in protecting my money.  They just didn't know the immediate repercussions, nor did I. 

 

As for me and my BF, this has no effect on our relationship. We work together on our finances and even share both the joys and challenges of money and credit. 

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Established Contributor
cashnocredit
Posts: 1,009
Registered: ‎07-18-2009
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Re: So ashamed and devastated


MontegoMack wrote:

Through this whole thread I've been amazed at how many people have quickly jumped to far reaching conclusions. 

 

It wasn't that I didn't check my account for "weeks." It was only a matter of a few days in which this happened. When I spoke with a finance review person at AMEX, she made it clear that once the payment didn't clear the FIRST TIME, they closed the account. THEN they make another attempt for payment.

 

Has it occurred to some of you Debbie Downers that since I've been responsibile enough to have earned these cards, why would I purposely be irresponsible - as you make it out to seem? This WASN'T my fault, though I do feel badly about it. This CU honestly believes that they were acting in good faith and on my behalf in protecting my money.  They just didn't know the immediate repercussions, nor did I. 

 

As for me and my BF, this has no effect on our relationship. We work together on our finances and even share both the joys and challenges of money and credit. 



I can't image a bank or CU not notifying you of a freeze and unfreezing as soon as they have verified from you that there wasn't unauthorized activity. "claiming that they are protecting you is bs. They were protecting themselves and for some reason suspected you of something.  You need a new bank or CU.

 

As for Amex. People should read the charge card agreement.

 

1. The balance is due on reciept.

2. The balance is subject to a late fee if not paid before the tenth day after the next statement posts.

 

 

This is really different from regular credit cards.

 

I've never had a bank freeze transfers or payments. Even really big and odd ones that should have triggered a fraud alert and temporary freeze,  To the point they didn't question a 6k charge on a cloned debit card that was obviously questionable, a charge made overseas a few hours after a local gas station charge.

 

 

Banks can be weird.

I have reestablished credit over the last couple years
so my moniker is, well, rather out of date.

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Established Member
knj601
Posts: 42
Registered: ‎02-25-2009
0

Re: So ashamed and devastated

[ Edited ]

While I do check my accounts on a daily basis..a little bit of an addict when it comes to my money...I have worked for financial institutions. They do not always notify customers of holds or freezes in a timely manner. Many times the customer will find out about these holds through the mail (which can take days). I have dealt with many situations where my customer's funds have been placed on hold for days without their knowledge and only found out from returned payments, etc. Banks and Credit Unions can be slow at notifications at times. This should be a huge red flag to either switch the place you bank or be sure to keep track of your accounts much more actively. Sorry for your headache. 



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webhopper
Posts: 7,230
Registered: ‎09-16-2011
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Re: So ashamed and devastated

[ Edited ]

 

That's odd that they would close it after the first attempt... was this your first payment?. I ran into a situation where a funds transfer was initiated by me; from nfcu shares account to state farm checking. The cash showed up in my account. Paid amex; the funds transfer was reversed by state farm bank. Causing the first attempt to be unsuccessful. Amex did not close my account... literally I called them the minute I knew there was a problem... they didn't seem worried; certainly they didn't close my account or FR me...

Amexs second attempt was successful; as I had several deposits and direct deposit all going in the next day.

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Valued Member
HappySoda
Posts: 56
Registered: ‎10-10-2012
0

Re: So ashamed and devastated

[ Edited ]

Even if people look beyond the frozen payment there are plenty of other red flags.

 

1. Trusting boyfriend to pay off your bills

 

2. Charging high balances when you just opened the card a month ago. Do you really think it's wise to charge up 3 grand in your first month?

 

3. Having a 3rd party (boyfriend) pay from his account instead of paying you and you paying them from your account.

 

Anybody who was scrutinizing your account would think it looks weird. New account opens up. The user charges 3 grand. Then their payment backs out. The payment isn't made by the account holder but by some guy across the United States. Heck, I think it's weird and I don't even work for AMEX. What you're failing to do is take responsibility for all of this. None of this would have happened if your BF wasn't an AU and if you paid your bill directly on your own. Once you start bringing in significant others, third party payments, bank freezes. You created this perfect storm. I'm pretty sure that if you had paid the bill from your own account there wouldn't have been an issue. Lesson learned - pay your own bills and don't let others make your payments. If you haven't learned from this then there's no sense in being ashamed. The shame would come from not seeing how you played a role in the closing of your AMEX.

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FrugalRican
Posts: 2,876
Registered: ‎02-02-2012
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Re: So ashamed and devastated


afjock21 wrote:

MontegoMack wrote:

I would log on here very regularly. I got great advice, tips and suggestions as to how to build my credit score and improve my credit reports. I ended up going from lousy low CL cards to an AMEX PRG, Delta Gold, Chase Freedom and a BofA signature Visa. It wasn't easy but you all made it  seem simple. All I did was follow your collective advice. 

 

Then, my first AMEX bill came. I charged everything I could on it and racked up about a $3100 bill. My boyfriend and I are bi-coastal (CT and CA) and instead of having him pay for the airfare, I charged it. The bill came due and he sent in the payment. Or, at least, he thought he did. 

 

HIs credit union thought it was a fraudulent bill, perhaps because it was larger than what he usually pays and it's a new account. They froze the payment and flagged his account for potential fraudulent use. No big deal, right? Well, AMEX didn't get paid. They FR'ed me and ended up closing the account within 24 hours for nonpayment. I was devastated. Even with a letter from the CU saying that funds were available on the date of the attempted payment and a completed FR forms and subsequent payment of the bill, I got nothing but 2 pretty cards to look at, but not to use. It hasn't hit my CRs yet, but I imagine that I'll take quite a dive on my scores.

 

It's been 2 weeks. I'm just now bringing myself to log on, and even admit to ANYONE what has happened. I'm crushed. I guess it's only credit. It's only AMEX. 


Did you tell your boyfriend, if he's still your boyfriend, that he owes you..?  BIG TIME!!


"If he's still your boyfriend"

 

Wait? Really?

I've seen a lot of valid points in this thread, but this one definitely jumped the shark.

How is this the boyfriend's fault at all? And why would it cost them the relationship? He MADE the payment.

 

There was no malicious intent in what happened here. Regardless of what happened, I don't think that I'd be dropping my relationship just because of something like this. I'd rather drop my credit card carrier. Now if my SO were to take my money and go on a shopping spree and then I can't pay my bills:

 

#1: I have no one to blame but myself.

#2: That person doesn't get another stab at it.

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Established Member
jkjklkjkl
Posts: 28
Registered: ‎09-23-2011
0

Re: So ashamed and devastated

It's crazy cause I am on this site almost everyday, but very, very rarely log-in, but today I felt that I had to comment on the turn of this thread.  When I first read the OP's post, I did feel like "Calm down, nothing to be ashamed of."  And while I still feel that it's nothing to ashamed of, especially since it's one card and one lender, I am in SHOCK at how people have decided to put on their britches and get up on their soapbox and preach to the OP and on top of that make assumptions about her life and how she conducts it.  And, I could not let her be ganged up on without saying something.  First of all, to make a list in regards to how someone should handle their finances is not anyone's place, without their asking.  The OP didn't come on her bragging about how she defrauded someone, she came to relay an experience that she had, where she clearly stated that the reason that she made the choice to use her credit card instead of cash, was because she wanted to get to a certain spend.  Secondly, you don't know what type of relationship she has with HER boyfriend, so to insinuate that she was ignorant for allowing him to make the payment is ridiculous.  Also, to try and tell someone when they should be paying their bill, how often to check their account, and how they should be compulsively doing anything is just too much.  Again, if the OP had come on her requesting tips on how she can improve her finances then these statements would be warranted, but she didn't and to keep insisting that "you agree" and that "you would never", again, is just too much.  And, in this case, I would have to say to all those who have taken the opportunity to thrash the OP, "Calm Down!!!"

 

OP, handle your business how you see fit in a responsible manner and please try and not let things like this bring you shame.

 

Keep your head up :smileyhappy:

 

And to those who have taken today way too seriously, maybe go back, after you've calmed down and re-read what the OP actually said, leaving any assumptions out of it and then read what you've said, reiterated, and then repeated, and see if your words and response match what the OP was trying to achieve.

 

I'm truly not trying to start any drama and won't respond after this because I don't want to facilitate any possible bickering, but I had to say something because, I could not sit back and watch someone get tag-teamed.  Shoot, I’m supposed to be playin some Wheel of Fortune, bonin’ up for when I make it on the show.

 

Best wishes to all.

 


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