The downside of good credit

[Ridbidge]

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@TheBronxBomber wrote:
So, I just returned from dinner with my lady and two of her friends. I guess you can call it a double date. After two bottles of wine, and a very nice dinner at a 5 star restaurant, they brought the checks over. Well, since it was a double date, you would think that both of us men would pay for dinner. No! The Man my lady's friend was dating was intimidated when I chose to pay with my Amex platinum. Dude whispered in my ear,"how are we going to handle this? You have a platinum card." just because I earn a great living, it doesn't mean that I'm the "good time sucker." I covered dinner and after dinner,I explained to my lady why I don't hang out with her friends. Has this happened to any of you?

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I suppose he was about to lay his CreditOne down on the table until you pulled out the Platinum!

[Datx]

Its always possible the guy figures he will just buy dinner next time. When I go out with friends, we normally fight for the bill, but we're not exactly going out to 5 star restaurants. Next time, ask him......you ever seen that Chase quickpay TV commercial?

[tcbofade]

Hmm.  While certainly a bit tacky, it could have been a legitimate question...

If there IS a "next time" perhaps you and the other fellow should discuss the check on the phone before you go out?

[FrugalRican]

(1) Tell your lady that her friend is dating a deadbeat and a freeloader.

(2) Next time offer to use another card, if that works for him.

(3) If you go out again with them, bring cash, and let him pay on his card.

You took the high road, and with a Platinum, I doubt very much you're TOO upset about the $500.

When I go out with my DGF and my sister with her BF, we just take turns, but obviously, there is that level of comfort between us.

[Revelate]

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@Datx wrote:

Its always possible the guy figures he will just buy dinner next time. When I go out with friends, we normally fight for the bill, but we're not exactly going out to 5 star restaurants. Next time, ask him......you ever seen that Chase quickpay TV commercial?

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I've never seen that sort of arrangement outside of close friends, and the terms of such are always stated up front.  

If the dude didn't respond with an "OK, next one (or serveral) is on me" then that's not a realistic possibility.  There really is no rosy upside to this situation

[tinuviel]

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@TheBronxBomber wrote:
So, I just returned from dinner with my lady and two of her friends. I guess you can call it a double date. After two bottles of wine, and a very nice dinner at a 5 star restaurant, they brought the checks over. Well, since it was a double date, you would think that both of us men would pay for dinner. No! The Man my lady's friend was dating was intimidated when I chose to pay with my Amex platinum. Dude whispered in my ear,"how are we going to handle this? You have a platinum card." just because I earn a great living, it doesn't mean that I'm the "good time sucker." I covered dinner and after dinner,I explained to my lady why I don't hang out with her friends. Has this happened to any of you?

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In response to the first highlighted phrase: No, I wouldn't assume that -- the key word being "men." When DH and I eat out, I'm ususally the one who grabs the check; I'm interested on racking up rewards on my card more than his. Now, when Discover goes over to 5% cash back on dining next month, he'll be the one picking up the tab. To me, gender has nothing to do with paying the check. Ok, off my soapbox and back to your question...

"How are we going to handle this?" Unless I actually WANTED to pay for the entire party, I would have suggested having the waitress split the check into two. Problem solved. The type of card that you're using for payment shouldn't enter into this, and it was very rude of the other gentlemen to imply otherwise. That's my opinion.

[Ridbidge]

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@tinuviel wrote:

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@TheBronxBomber wrote:
So, I just returned from dinner with my lady and two of her friends. I guess you can call it a double date. After two bottles of wine, and a very nice dinner at a 5 star restaurant, they brought the checks over. Well, since it was a double date, you would think that both of us men would pay for dinner. No! The Man my lady's friend was dating was intimidated when I chose to pay with my Amex platinum. Dude whispered in my ear,"how are we going to handle this? You have a platinum card." just because I earn a great living, it doesn't mean that I'm the "good time sucker." I covered dinner and after dinner,I explained to my lady why I don't hang out with her friends. Has this happened to any of you?

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In response to the first highlighted phrase: No, I wouldn't assume that -- the key word being "men." When DH and I eat out, I'm ususally the one who grabs the check; I'm interested on racking up rewards on my card more than his. Now, when Discover goes over to 5% cash back on dining next month, he'll be the one picking up the tab. To me, gender has nothing to do with paying the check. Ok, off my soapbox and back to your question...

"How are we going to handle this?" Unless I actually WANTED to pay for the entire party, I would have suggested having the waitress split the check into two. Problem solved. The type of card that you're using for payment shouldn't enter into this, and it was very rude of the other gentlemen to imply otherwise. That's my opinion.

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+1

[Skinnyminnie]

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@Anonymous wrote:
If you were a lion in the Serengeti I'd say you get to mate with his woman.

However, whispering back that you'd prefer to split it would have been the proper answer.

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Yup yup.  It shouldn't be too hard to say something back without thinking the worst.  But it's hard for me to make the most out of this without actually being there.  

[tinuviel]

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@Anonymous wrote:

Wow you were much more gracious than I would have been. Even if I made 6 figures I would not pay for someone like that who clearly has no boundaries/wanted to take advantage of me. Despite being early on in my career, I have never been greedy when it comes to treating my friends on certain occassions. They have never asked and I do it b/c I want to. I realize you were in an awkward position and just wanted to keep things chill but someone like that is not worth $250 of your money, no matter how much you make!

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Yes, and that's the point. If you want to treat friends, it should be a free choice. I've done this myself. Just the other day we had lunch out with friends and I offered to pick up the check for the table. We eat out with this couple periodically, and pickup up the check goes back and forth. They offered to chip in, but I insisted that it was our turn. But, this has been an established pattern between this couple and us. In the case of the OP, there were no such plans in place and it was out of line for the other party to assume that the OP would pay based upon his apparent financial standing.

[tinuviel]

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@scottwagnon wrote:

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@drsmith wrote:

I can't understand someone actually having the stones to say that another man.

Sometimes my fiancee go out to dinner with some friends of ours, and they are much higher earners, and treat us to all sorts of things. Every single time they buy something for us I just feel a burning shame. I don't think they mind in the slightest, but it's always bothered me. I can never imagine actually looking at him like "well aren't you going to get this then?"

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you don't need to feel bad. they make more than you, and they are treating you kindly as high earners ought to. you'll pull out your card when they decide they feel like going 'dutch'. no big deal. its great when you are friends with someone that is generous and wealthy. they enjoy spending money on you. they know that they make more than you and want you to know in their way that they are the superior earners. they would feel awkward if they didn't cover the bill anyway. as long as you aren't pushing them to take you out to dinner than i would say you are good to go; enjoy the ride.

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Yes, the difference here is that the OP isn't expecting it. The high earners in this case are offering to pay because they want to, not because they are being coerced. Completely different situation.