back to zero utilization-beware!

[DeeBee78]

I'm glad you got a win to help offset those losses. Now the real test will be staying away from casinos. 

I understand the temptation to gamble, and the fallacy that the next big win is around the corner. I had to have a tough conversation with my partner last year, because he was concerned about the amount of money I was gambling. I didn't get deep into it like you did, but at one point I was pulling $400 a day out of the ATM to go gamble with, simply because I had the money to. 

He asked me to stop gambling, and I asked him to stop drinking. While I was out at the casino, he was at home, polishing off a bottle of whisky or tequila.  Like I said it was a tough conversation to have. I've kept my promise, and he's cut back to only having a couple of glasses of wine on Sundays, when we have family dinner. 

I got my Win/Loss statement from my main casino this year, and I lost $6,000 last year. That was a major eye opener. 

[csryang]

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@Anonymous wrote:

I share my story because it might help young folks with their freshly minted cards and exciting lives.  Don't do what this old guy did in his youth-and in late middle age.  

I am a credit addict, gambler and spendaholic.  And I just dodged a $30,000 credit card debt bullet thanks to the press of a slot machine button.  I got lucky-this time.

I ran up a $30,000 debt in two months due to gambling and spending.  I also applied countless times for more credit and my score-peaking at 720 TU-is down to the low 680's and I was facing bankrupcty.  I won almost $30,000 this morning and can now pay the debt.  I got into trouble after I realized Navy Federal was treating my casino cash advances like regular spending and kept giving me more leash.  Discover and Citi provided $20,000 worth of balance transfer checks that I cashed for gambling purposes.  If you know how to work the system, you can get into all sorts of trouble.  But with one $11.25 bet I cashed in $29,100 and, although I'll have to pay taxes on it next year, for now the credit card debt is paid.  I still have a huge home equity line of credit to pay which started this mess off in the first place.  I also lost $14,000 in savings but now I don't have to file bankruptcy.   My utilization will be back to 0% on Friday after I pay Discover, NFCU and Citi once my casino check clears (funny to say that).  I will use CSR for travel and 3% dining again (have $600 in American Airline gift cards for flights thanks to the $300/year travel allowance but did waste my $1000 bonus on gambling). I have Discover and Freedom for 5% back and AMEX BCE for groceries, just like before when counting pennies mattered.  As far as gambling, I don't know if I can ever put it behind me.  37 years, rehab, hospitals, GA, even 23 years of AA-ish sobriety haven't stopped my habit.  I'm almost 56.  I guess I'll never learn.   But it was nice hitting $29K tonight and calling the card companies telling them the "check is in the mail."

So once again here is my list of cards and debt.

NFCU 14K-reopened  0 balance as of 1/27 (was 10K in debt)

AMEX BCE 16.5K-0 balance 

AMEX PRG - 0 balance

Chase Sapphire Reserve 24.5K- 0 balance (back to daily use)

Chase Freedom 2.2K -0 balance (5% gas this quarter)

Discover 18.9K - 0 balance as of 1/27 (was 13K in debt)

Citi (closed by me) - 0 balance as of 1/27 (was 5K in debt, trying to reopen unless credit pull is required)

Amazon store-closed by me 0 balance

Car loan - 19K balance 317/month 0% interest

Home Equity Line of credit-108K 3.25% interest variable (1000/month payment starting in April)

Disability Income-50K (VA and Social Security)-rather be working but the gov says I'm unfit 

scores in 680's 9-11 HP's on CRAs (5 from nov 16-jan 17)

$50,000 gambling loss 10/31-1/25

$30,000 gambling win 1/26

---

Congrats for the win to pay your debt. I also agree with a couple previous posts.

This is the right time to STOP, please.

You should try your best to have someone control you money, knowing that you have issue with addiction. It's hard with any addiction. Persistence and changing your habit/environment is the key. You also need people to help you as people with addiction often cannot help themselves.

Thank you for your service but please try your best to still get help! VA should have a great mental health system and can help with addiction. VA can also help with employment assistance. I agree that closing your credit cards might be a good idea. In addition, you should consider having one of your close friends or family members that you trust become your PAYEE so that one day you will still have money when you really need it. 

[Anonymous]

To help control the compulsion keep your statements that show your debt and review them when you get the itch. Another good thing to do is write yourself a letter to the future you who will be tempted to gamble. Read that along with the statements and maybe it'll help stave off a binder you might not be able to get out of.

[Anonymous]

Hi Everybody,

I just read all these posts and thank you all very much.  This was a tough day.  I had a strong urge to gamble but did not.  My disability check hit the bank and my account was over $12,000, but much of that is due to a low-interest loan I took out prior to entering gambling addiction treatment to help with moving expenses.  It was an AMEX 12% next step loan.  My credit card debt is still zero but i haven't closed any accounts.  In fact, Chase is prequalifying me for all their cards at 16% interest, even though I'm over the 5/24 plateau.  My stepmother has started making the line of credit payments.  I stopped paying on it in Februrary.  If she fails to pay my credit scores will plunge and she will lose her house.  I've been given legal advice to cancel making payments.  It was one of the most difficult things I've ever had to do.  I have nightmares about it.  I'm completely alone, in chronic pain and 56.  

After my big win I started gambling again and lost thousands.  As a result, I traveled a long distance and entered a 30-day VA gambling addiction treatment program in Cleveland.  I was housed in a homeless shelter with addicted veterans of all types, many of whom had just gotten out of prison.  I hardly slept and kept my wits about me just enough to stay out of fights that I would have lost or been arrested for.  I slept through many of the classes but made new friends and built up some clean time.  On Thursday I attended a Gamblers Anonymous meeting and was given a 60-day clean time keychain.  I also celebrated 23 years of abstinence from drugs and alcohol this week. However, I still take psychiatric medication for bipolar disorder.  I am permanently disabled due to this illness and receive full compensation from the VA and social security.

I will be trading my nice house rental in Arizona for a cramped room in a house in Oregon.  I ceased relations with my mother in December at the height of my gambling relapse.  I nearly commited suicide over this.  Some things I learned from treatment is to let go of the past and stop chasing losses.  Last night when my check hit my bank my mindset returned to its old addicted ways.  I got through the day by eating a nice meal, texting close friends in Oregon and taking a 140mile round-trip ride.  In the past that would have been to a casino.  I just turned the car around and went home.  I took my psychiatric medications and signed on to myfico, wanted to talk about the prequals I'm still getting from Chase.  I still have a Freedom and a CSR.  I know I should close my accounts but I still have a desire to escapse with my sizable credit line, even though my body won't allow it.  Eventually my accounts will be closed by the banks when they see my scores fall due to lack of payment on the line of credit.  The bank can't touch my income or checking account.  

I'm trying to be good to myself.  I have suffered greatly and put others through misery as a result of my lifelong affliction.  I have no more words to say.

I hope returning to Oregon under care of good gambling treatment and familiar psychiatric staff, along with a group of friends in recovery, will help me live better.  But there is a lot of gambling in Oregon.  I can't ban myself from every streetcorner that has a slot machine that Oregon offers.  I can only stay in recovery and maybe get a payee again.  It depends on how I get along with my housemates.  

I'm tired.  Thanks for reading on this 67th consecutive day without gambling.  

[nachoslibres]

---

@Anonymous wrote:

Hi Everybody,

I just read all these posts and thank you all very much.  This was a tough day.  I had a strong urge to gamble but did not.  My disability check hit the bank and my account was over $12,000, but much of that is due to a low-interest loan I took out prior to entering gambling addiction treatment to help with moving expenses.  It was an AMEX 12% next step loan.  My credit card debt is still zero but i haven't closed any accounts.  In fact, Chase is prequalifying me for all their cards at 16% interest, even though I'm over the 5/24 plateau.  My stepmother has started making the line of credit payments.  I stopped paying on it in Februrary.  If she fails to pay my credit scores will plunge and she will lose her house.  I've been given legal advice to cancel making payments.  It was one of the most difficult things I've ever had to do.  I have nightmares about it.  I'm completely alone, in chronic pain and 56.  

After my big win I started gambling again and lost thousands.  As a result, I traveled a long distance and entered a 30-day VA gambling addiction treatment program in Cleveland.  I was housed in a homeless shelter with addicted veterans of all types, many of whom had just gotten out of prison.  I hardly slept and kept my wits about me just enough to stay out of fights that I would have lost or been arrested for.  I slept through many of the classes but made new friends and built up some clean time.  On Thursday I attended a Gamblers Anonymous meeting and was given a 60-day clean time keychain.  I also celebrated 23 years of abstinence from drugs and alcohol this week. However, I still take psychiatric medication for bipolar disorder.  I am permanently disabled due to this illness and receive full compensation from the VA and social security.

I will be trading my nice house rental in Arizona for a cramped room in a house in Oregon.  I ceased relations with my mother in December at the height of my gambling relapse.  I nearly commited suicide over this.  Some things I learned from treatment is to let go of the past and stop chasing losses.  Last night when my check hit my bank my mindset returned to its old addicted ways.  I got through the day by eating a nice meal, texting close friends in Oregon and taking a 140mile round-trip ride.  In the past that would have been to a casino.  I just turned the car around and went home.  I took my psychiatric medications and signed on to myfico, wanted to talk about the prequals I'm still getting from Chase.  I still have a Freedom and a CSR.  I know I should close my accounts but I still have a desire to escapse with my sizable credit line, even though my body won't allow it.  Eventually my accounts will be closed by the banks when they see my scores fall due to lack of payment on the line of credit.  The bank can't touch my income or checking account.  

I'm trying to be good to myself.  I have suffered greatly and put others through misery as a result of my lifelong affliction.  I have no more words to say.

I hope returning to Oregon under care of good gambling treatment and familiar psychiatric staff, along with a group of friends in recovery, will help me live better.  But there is a lot of gambling in Oregon.  I can't ban myself from every streetcorner that has a slot machine that Oregon offers.  I can only stay in recovery and maybe get a payee again.  It depends on how I get along with my housemates.  

I'm tired.  Thanks for reading on this 67th consecutive day without gambling.  

---

Thanks for the update.  While I can't emphathize with a gambling/drug/alcohol addiction, I can emphathize with addiction in general.  For several years of my life I was addicted to gaming, specifically MMORPG games.  I quit the first time in my early twenties, shortly after I got married, after I realized I was spending all my free time gaming (sometimes 10-12 hours a day) and it was hurting my marriage.  I had to cancel my account and sell all my gaming related items to get me to stop.  Later on in my late 20s, early 30s, I thought I could handle it better and that having a brother-in-law who played with me and be an accountability partner would help.  It didn't.  I got sucked right back in and was gaming into the wee hours of the night, getting up early, and started working less - all while having a young baby and toddler and tired wife at home.  I finally had to delete my character and tell my wife that she had to hold me accountable to never play MMORPG games again.

I say all this because I truly believe you need to cancel the accounts and probably freeze your credit reports.  Do whatever you can that creates a barrier and would require a lot of work for you to get back into it.  I had to delete my characters and get rid of the things that allowed me to game - so in case I did really want to do it again I would have to go out and purchase items, install them, and then level up a character all the way again (which wasn't ever fun for me and would take a long time).  Thankfully it has been about 5 years or so since I've relapsed but I won't let myself play any MMORPG games because I know the devastation they can cause for me (all for chasing some pixels on a screen to impress people online that I'll never meet in real life).

[Anonymous]

I once lost $200 on video poker.  Was so depressed.  This digital machine can even be programmed where the house wins 80% of the time, yet if you are smart enough to count cards you are considered a cheater.  Then you leave to go back to your hotel room and the casino knows your every move, including how much you spend on food, yet they are still not considered cheaters.

Every time my mother would ask me to go on a casino cruise after losing that $200, she would hand me $300 or so and I would sit outside and enjoy the cruise and not spend any money.  The employees of the boat hated me because their job depended on me spending money.  They would call my mother every day to offer her $100-$200 cash because they knew she had a problem.

Her husband could make $500,000 a year and she could spend it just as fast.

Gamblers are dumb as heck.  They also like drama...and cigarettes.

Instead of living from paycheck to paycheck, learn to save your money and you won't even need credit most of the time.

I hope this is not taken as being judgemental.

[Anonymous]

In many states your disability funds over 2 months worth can be taken.  Check with a bk attorney for your state. Find a meaningful hobby.  I have a friend who was a Col in the air force.  His plane was shot down and he had multiple issues from that.  Now he gets Air force disability check and volunteers as a driver for  disabled vets (usually they lost a limb). It keeps him busy . 

[Anonymous]

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@DrZoidberg wrote:

That win helped pay your debt, yes. But in all honesty it was one of the worst things that could have happened to an addict. It was a "validation" that it "pays off." You have gambled a lot, and now you have won big, so your habit and addiction will only grow now that you know it's obtainable. 

I don't tell people how to live their lives. I get it. I don't have an "addiction" but I love to gamble. I usually do about $1k a month or so. It's fun, but I'm in control and I can afford it. I can't tell you how many times I hear people at the BJ table saying "there goes my rent" or car payment or cell bill. 

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+1 Totally agree with this.

Winning, just makes you think you can do it again now. As negative as this sounds, it would of been better if you didnt win that and continue facing the consequences of gambling. No one on this thread can make you stop, no advice will help you, only you can stop your own self. You feel good now, you feel like "okay no more gambling now" in your mind. But after this post, weeks and months later theres a HIGH chance youll be right back at it again. I have a friend whos a gambling addict so I feel like I seen this type of pattern first hand, its all so familiar. He just cant stop, his mood swings back and forth depending if he wins or loses, and no matter if he wins $500 or  $5,000. By the next day he gives it all back to the casino one way or another. The 30k you just won and going to use to pay off debt is just a temporary/false confidence  to yourself that you are making any improvements, but does it solve your problem and addiction? It doesn't matter if you pay off your debt with those winnings if youre going to just dig yourself a hole again right after. Sorry for the harsh post, like is said, I witnessed a good friend of mine go through something similar, nothing ever changes and its really upsetting. Nevertheless, i wish you the best to stay strong and overcome this!

[Anonymous]

Thanks again for reading my recent post.  I was able to withstand my thinking yesterday with the help of friends and simply not acting on my impulses.  I was once again fortunate.  The next two weeks are going to be hard.  I'm going to have a lot of time on my hands.  Maybe I should close some accounts.  That might be the best thing to do.  I don't need six credit cards and $76,000 of available credit.  I'm moving back to Oregon in two weeks and will be plenty busy starting in a week.  The biggest enemy of a gambler is idle time.  Lack of impulse control gets me in trouble, but today is much better.  Recovery and abstince are possible, even for me.  Thanks to all for the "tough love" advice.  Take care.

[Anonymous]

I read your posts and my heart breaks for you!! My husband has been a severe addict since we were 15 years old (38 now). Adrenaline junkie, smoking, weed, then later crime, heroin and pills. He was a professional dope addict and alcoholic by 18 years old. In and out of prison and jail. He's been sued, put on house arrest, you name it.

Addicts MUST have an addiction. A methadone treatment plan broke the cycle and got him chemically clean but mentally, his addictions were worse than ever.

I finally came to this great realization that addicts will never be fixed. They can only be managed. We non-addicts just want you to be normal but that's impossible. The science of addiction shows us that the brain of an addict has developed in an abnormal way.

If the addict can understand that they have a malfunctioning brain, they can allowed loved ones to channel their behavior toward a safe addiction.

I gave my husband 2 horses because he loved animals. He quickly discovered that galloping across a field or jumping a ditch is an adrenaline rush. He is addicted to their meticulous care and nutrition. He researches the best feeds and supplements to give them so they are fit, shiny, strong and beautiful.

He also uses marijuana daily because it is calming, eases pain, and brings a sense of well being and happiness. Using it feeds his drug addiction in a safe, legal manner without using heroine or pills.

These new addictions are very expensive but they Give him an outlet. Addicts are obsessive and having the horses gives him focus and something healthy to obsess over.

Don't deny yourself an addiction or you will end up gambling! Find something safe like a hobby, fitness, cooking, go back to school. Given your extreme addictive brain, whatever you choose to become addicted to will become your new focus!

My addict was extreme to the point of absolute self destruction including overdoses and many years in prison. Today he is the sweetest, happiest, most helpful, kind soul you would ever meet!

The brain of an addict is programmed to self-destruct unless serious intervention happens. You have to find a new addiction. It needs to be healthy and you need to allow yourself free rein to pursue it fully.

Good luck, you are on the right path!!!