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my-own-fico
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Registered: ‎01-05-2010
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His, hers or ours? Setting up finances as a couple

[ Edited ]

Setting up finances as a couple:

 

"I’m the main breadwinner, so it’s primarily my money that would be going into the account, and I’m just not comfortable having only a joint account."

 

:smileysurprised:

 

See also more couple, joint account, marriage killer, advice needed, authorized accounts.

 

Are you living within your means?
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haulingthescoreup
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Re: His, hers or ours? Setting up finances as a couple

Thumbs up for yours, mine, and ours.

 

And I would say exactly the same if he were the main breadwinner, btw.

 

When both parties work, they should have some autonomy for their own expenses, and a shared account for the joint expenses. Well, in fact, even if one has the honorable role of homemaker, with no outside income. (Try running a household for a few years on one income. It ain't easy, I promise you.)

 

No wonder the #1 cause of marital discord is money...

* Credit is a wonderful servant, but a terrible master. * Who's the boss --you or your credit?
FICO's: EQ 781 - TU 793 - EX 779 (from PSECU) - Done credit hunting; having fun with credit gardening. - EQ 590 on 5/14/2007
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beamMEup
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Re: His, hers or ours? Setting up finances as a couple

When DH and I were first married, we had yours and mine and opened up ours.  That worked best.

After awhile, we settled into ours.  And at that time, it worked best.

Now we have ours and mine.  For the time being, it works best.

 

As long as it balances, life is good.

Just puttin' syrup on something, don't make it pancakes.
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my-own-fico
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Re: His, hers or ours? Setting up finances as a couple

 


beamMEup wrote:

 

As long as it balances, life is good.


I have to the best of my recollection never met a woman who by saying it should match about clothes didn't mean it should be the same color. So I assume that you by saying it balances mean the costs are split equally. Wouldn't that involve an enormous bureaucracy though?

 

Are you living within your means?
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ifinet
Posts: 536
Registered: ‎03-17-2010
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Re: His, hers or ours? Setting up finances as a couple

By far, the best article ever posted on myfico......................

 

It goes like this: "Error establishing a database connection"

 

:smileyvery-happy:

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my-own-fico
Posts: 1,303
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Re: His, hers or ours? Setting up finances as a couple

And I was eating and on the phone too during those 30 seconds, lol. :smileysurprised::smileyhappy:

 

Are you living within your means?
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haulingthescoreup
Posts: 28,098
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Re: His, hers or ours? Setting up finances as a couple

Well, it worked for me when I clicked it! :smileyvery-happy:

 

fwiw, DXH and I had only a joint account for years and years. Then he added his own account, because he traveled :smileyindifferent:. When I went back to work (as opposed to working all day at home, keeping things going), I started my own account because I picked up tuition expenses and other things that we hadn't budgeted for.

 

Although I tried to get him on board with budget planning, it never really happened. :smileysad: We did do yours mine and ours to some extent, but since we could never get on the same page about planning, it was a bit lame.

 

I still think that yours mine and ours is the sensible way to go. If nothing else, it requires couples to actually sit down, look at financial realities, and plan for the future. :smileytongue:

* Credit is a wonderful servant, but a terrible master. * Who's the boss --you or your credit?
FICO's: EQ 781 - TU 793 - EX 779 (from PSECU) - Done credit hunting; having fun with credit gardening. - EQ 590 on 5/14/2007
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my-own-fico
Posts: 1,303
Registered: ‎01-05-2010
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Re: His, hers or ours? Setting up finances as a couple

 


haulingthescoreup wrote:

 

I still think that yours mine and ours is the sensible way to go. If nothing else, it requires couples to actually sit down, look at financial realities, and plan for the future. :smileytongue:


 

Yes, that's a good thing. In our case, it  means I provide an outline during a commercial break of SVU. But it's there.

 

You can tell that an account for each of us is not in the cards. I happen to agree, but for a different reason.

 

I like to keep it simple. All our income and bills are channeled through a single checking account. As long as the balance stays on the plus side at any point a year into the future, we're content, given some money in the savings account.

 

Just looked up asklizweston.com: Error establishing a database connection. I wonder what's going on!

 

Are you living within your means?
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haulingthescoreup
Posts: 28,098
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Re: His, hers or ours? Setting up finances as a couple

Liz didn't pay her bill?? :smileysurprised:

 

I think that beamMEup was saying that if it makes sense for the couple involved, then it's good. (Hope I read that right; I'm dropping the ball all over the place tonight. :smileytongue:)

 

Everyone's situation is different. Some spouses/ partners want to be included in everything; others just want to feel secure that it's all being taken care of. One thing to keep in mind for those who use just one account, and only one person is involved with it, is that Stuff Happens. If the person in charge of the financial matters is hit by a bus one day, the other person is going to be completely lost in trying to figure out what has been going on.

 

But some people just flat don't want to know, and there's not a whole lot you can do about that. (Leading the horse to water category...)

* Credit is a wonderful servant, but a terrible master. * Who's the boss --you or your credit?
FICO's: EQ 781 - TU 793 - EX 779 (from PSECU) - Done credit hunting; having fun with credit gardening. - EQ 590 on 5/14/2007
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beamMEup
Posts: 4,470
Registered: ‎12-31-2008
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Re: His, hers or ours? Setting up finances as a couple


my-own-fico wrote:

 


beamMEup wrote:

 

As long as it balances, life is good.


I have to the best of my recollection never met a woman who by saying it should match about clothes didn't mean it should be the same color. So I assume that you by saying it balances mean the costs are split equally. Wouldn't that involve an enormous bureaucracy though?


:smileyvery-happy:

I mean as long as the accounts balance, life is good!

Whether or not the costs are split equally would never be an issue at our home, and each person/couple has to decide for themselves how that's handled. 

There are so many diverse opinions and realilties out there.  And my experience is that the best way to handle finances continually changes as life itself morphs.

But as long as the accounts balance, life is good.

Just puttin' syrup on something, don't make it pancakes.

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