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Cap1 DV'd, here is my PFD letter, any thoughts?

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Anonymous
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Cap1 DV'd, here is my PFD letter, any thoughts?

To Whom It May Concern:

The purpose of this settlement is merely to have this item removed from my credit files. It is not to be construed as an acknowledgment of liability for this debt in any form.

I received your reply to my dispute verification. Though this is a Corporate, not personal account, and one I just found out was on my personal report as of late last year, I am writing to try and make a mutually satisfactory arrangement.

First let me point out this is a time-barred debt, and one reason for a statute of limitations on debts is the difficulty in accessing old banking/statement records for the alleged debtor. However in the spirit of compromise and to save further wasted time and effort on our respective parts, I am willing under one of two circumstances listed below to pay the original past-due and charged-off balance on this account of three-hundred and thirty-six dollars. As I did not know of this account until I accessed my Credit-Reports in late 2007, I am not willing to pay the other fees and charges you added to it in the subsequent years.

Payment Option 1:
Capital One agrees to immediate deletion of this account from any and all credit reporting agencies (Equifax, Experian and TransUnion). Please note it must be removed in any event by September of this year regardless so we are talking about doing so 4 months early.

Capital One Bank agrees to delete ALL information regarding this account from the credit reporting agencies WITHIN TEN CALENDAR (10) DAYS following receipt of payment as specified above and will not discuss the terms of this settlement with anyone. If contacted by any third party, including credit-reporting agencies, Capital One Bank will not acknowledge that any settlement offer was made, accepted or executed and will, in fact, deny knowledge of any such account. Capital One Bank agrees to never report this account again to any collection agencies, to not sell the account to another Capital One Bank or third-party, or to take any legal recovery action in the future. Payment is considered full satisfaction of the debt in perpetuity

Payment Option 2:
Capital One agrees to re-open this account as an aged and current account with at least the same credit-line it originally opened with ($300) and continue to report it, however as a Current Paid account from the time it was opened in 1998.

If you agree to either terms and accept this agreement, certified funds for the settlement amount three-hundred and thirty-six dollars ($336) will be sent to Capital One Bank in exchange for full deletion of ALL references regarding this account from my credit files and full satisfaction of the debt. As certified funds will be used for payment, there shall be no waiting period regarding the deletion of this account from the credit reporting agencies.

If you agree to the above terms, please prepare a letter on your company letterhead explicitly agreeing which terms on the above settlement offers and have it signed by an authorized representative of Collection Agency. It will be implied that this letter shall constitute a legally binding contract, enforceable under the laws of my state.
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