To be totally honest, I've considered - more than once - ending it all to get out of this miserable existance. If my DH could still collect on my life insurance, I probably would've done it a while ago.
I'm currently working two jobs, and looking for a third. The guilt I feel is absolutely crushing. And everytime the phone rings, I run to answer it so that DH doesn't. He has no idea what's going on.
The really sad part is That I am totally alone with this. If my DH knew the extent of our debt, he would probably leave me, and I wouldn't blame him for a second. But I love the guy, and want him to stick around. So I work my a$$ into the ground hoping that eventually we'll be back to where we once were. The real kicker is if my (our) UTIL was reasonable, we would have sky-high FICOs.There's no GW, DV, PIF or PFD that can help. The only thing that makes a difference is paying money. I'm really tired. Somedays, the stomachache and guilt and worry are pretty overwhelming. Make no mistake. It's all my fault. Nobody else's. And I have to fix this.
I'm really glad to have happened on this forum. I appreciate everyone sharing their stories and stratagies.There's definitly a good vibe here.