Daytona18,
Tell him because if you don't and when it comes time for the refi and he gets the news from the lender or broker, he is going to really be disappointed that you didn't tell him and that you knew. Don't let this cause problems in your marriage. Though he wasn't excited about you doing it, I am sure he could understand why you did and that none of this was your fault.
Get names for everyone that you talk to with these companies because its easy to say that I talked to a 100 people today and I don't know remember talking to you. For the girl at the mtg. company, see if you can get an account manager or someone to hear your story and ask if could get a guarantee in writing if necessary regarding the now late payment.
Keep calling the supervisor. Do you have a name? Leave messages so that he/she will know how urgent this is for you or ask for their immediate supervisor. Persistence boo, persistence.