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MercyMe wrote:Just so you know, and don't think I just fell off a turnip truck, there was a time when I was fairly well established -- which is to say that I had a good job -- made pretty good money -- had my own bank account and credit cards and owned my car, outright -- sigh. Then I married this guy who's motto is "What's mine is mine and what's yours is mine, too!" and over the course of the so many years I became a rather non-existent person. I worked, but for him, and so wasn't paid, thus paid nothing into Social Security and the like. I worry about that, now, but have time to make up for lost time, if you will.To make a long story short, after so many years and so much ... stuff ... I found myself going through counselling at Women In Distress and from there to Life Skills, which was really intense, and it took me a good long while to learn (are you listening ladies?) that I matter! Huh. Just, huh ... amazing how he took all of that away -- me, away from me.I'm not there, anymore. It's been rough. I've a way to go yet, but I'm on my way. It's been especially rough because he's always had trouble meeting his obligations, and so totally destroyed the credit, over the years, that I've been trying to clean up. It's not that he doesn't make enough money. He does. He just thinks that what he makes is HIS money to do with as he pleases and everything else, like the bills for all the stuff he wants, is secondary. He also thinks that I owe him what money I make for all the years I didn't bring in a salary, even though I worked for him and he didn't pay me. I've been 4 years, now, trying to clean up the mess -- like that Sun Trust Bank charge off that I paid in full. I paid that. He never would have. He'd just let it go, like he's let so much go, only to blame everyone else then when his credit scores won't allow for such things as that $30,000 truck he wants but can't have, or a refi on the house after a series of hurricanes took their toll. That the house was refinanced in my name tells me I'm getting somewhere, and with all that I am learning from you and from Tuscani, and so many others, I'll be out of this mess soon. By the end of the summer, I hope, and then both me and my kids can take a deep breath and rest easy for once, never having to worry again about breaking glass or slamming doors or kicked in walls, and that my friend will be a very good thing.mercyme...indeed.
masdeocho wrote:Aaaawwwwwwwwwwwwwwww shucks!Yeah, don't get me started on the mistakes I wouldn't have made it I could do it all again ...