Utilization Humor

[Anonymous]

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Jacque383 wrote:

Just forget it...didn't come out quite right....That's what happens when typing, talking on the phone and looking for a file all at the same time...

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LOL....multitasking, girlfriend???  I think  it came out right....it's just how each individual interprets it!!

[Jacque383]

Yeah, you know how it goes...Buying, selling, appraisers, tenants and completely being surrounded in my own business by men...All that testosterone flying around threw me off!

[Anonymous]

Have you heard? Lidsay Lohann was arrested for over utilization of alcohol, under utilization of brain matter. (Again). I'll bet her FICO is 349.

[Anonymous]

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TexMontana wrote:

Have you heard? Lidsay Lohann was arrested for over utilization of alcohol, under utilization of brain matter. (Again). I'll bet her FICO is 349.

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Jeez, unbelievable! Her FICO is the least of her worries.

[Anonymous]

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TexMontana wrote:

Have you heard? Lidsay Lohann was arrested for over utilization of alcohol, under utilization of brain matter. (Again). I'll bet her FICO is 349.

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........and the audacity to walk into the jail with a rock in her pocket. Sorry, I feel no sympathy for folks that feel because of their status (celebrity,money) they can get away with breaking the law!! What a sad life!!!

[Jacque383]

Okay...read this all the way through...and keep in mind it's not a dirty joke....

This useful tool is commonly found in the range of 8 inches long, the

functioning of which is enjoyed by members of both sexes. It is usually

found hung, dangling loosely, ready for instant action. It boasts of a

clump of little hairy things at one end and a small hole at the other.

In use, it is inserted, almost always willingly, sometimes slowly,

sometimes quickly, into a warm, fleshy, moist opening where it is thrust in

and drawn out again and again many times in succession, often quickly and

accompanied by squirming bodily movements.

Anyone found listening in will most surely recognize the rhythmic, pulsing

sound, resulting from the well lubricated movements. When finally

withdrawn, it leaves behind a juicy, frothy, sticky white substance, some

of which will need cleaning from the outer surfaces of the opening and some

of from its long glistening shaft.

After everything is done and the flowing and cleansing liquids have ceased

emanating, it is returned to its freely hanging state of rest, ready for

yet another bit of action, hopefully reaching its bristling climax twice or

three times a day, but often much less. Ah yes, such is the utilization of one's toothbrush!

And what were you thinking?

Message Edited by Jacque383 on 07-24-2007 08:33 PM

Message Edited by Jacque383 on 07-24-2007 08:39 PM

[Anonymous]

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Jacque383 wrote:

Okay...read this all the way through...and keep in mind it's not a dirty joke....

This useful tool is commonly found in the range of 8 inches long, the

functioning of which is enjoyed by members of both sexes. It is usually

found hung, dangling loosely, ready for instant action. It boasts of a

clump of little hairy things at one end and a small hole at the other.

In use, it is inserted, almost always willingly, sometimes slowly,

sometimes quickly, into a warm, fleshy, moist opening where it is thrust in

and drawn out again and again many times in succession, often quickly and

accompanied by squirming bodily movements.

Anyone found listening in will most surely recognize the rhythmic, pulsing

sound, resulting from the well lubricated movements. When finally

withdrawn, it leaves behind a juicy, frothy, sticky white substance, some

of which will need cleaning from the outer surfaces of the opening and some

of from its long glistening shaft.

After everything is done and the flowing and cleansing liquids have ceased

emanating, it is returned to its freely hanging state of rest, ready for

yet another bit of action, hopefully reaching its bristling climax twice or

three times a day, but often much less. Ah yes, such is the utilization of one's toothbrush!

And what were you thinking?

Message Edited by Jacque383 on 07-24-2007 08:33 PM

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OMG.........LOL....I just copied that to my email so I can share it tommorrow at work (  I work at a dental  office)

[Jacque383]

A dental office? That's hilarious...But, whew.....glad you weren't offended...I'm never sure how someone's going to react....

[Anonymous]

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Jacque383 wrote:

A dental office? That's hilarious...But, whew.....glad you weren't offended...I'm never sure how someone's going to react....

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No worries here...not easily offended.....especially by a great joke!!!! That was good. The whole way through, I was trying to figure out what on earth this could be if it is NOT a dirty joke......WOW!!!!

[fused]

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Jacque383 wrote:

A dental office? That's hilarious...But, whew.....glad you weren't offended...I'm never sure how someone's going to react....

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This is the consumer prostitute here AKA FICO undercover cop! I am deeply offended and as punishment, your PM privileges have been revoked for 7 days, posting privs revoked for 24 hours and finally the grandprize, a whopping 16 new inqs have just been placed on on your EX CR.