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Utilization Humor

Senior Contributor

Utilization Humor

Pickup line:
Heh baby, what's your utilization?

Dump line:
I've had it with you, and I've had it with your utilization. It's over!

Traffic citation:
Sir, your utilization exceeded the posted limit for this highway. I'm afraid I'm going to have to write you a ticket.

Defense to the citation in court:
Your honor, the officer clearly overstated my utilization as evidenced by my ScoreWatch reports. I submit into evidence Exhibit EQ, Exhibit EX and Exhibit TU.

Work related:
We have to meet or exceed last quarters utilization figures if this division is going to turn a profit.

Stock market:
Dow was flat and utilization climbed in unusually heavy trading.

Campaign promise:
I pledge that every American family will see utilization deceases under my leadership.

Campaign promise broken:
Read my lips. No new utilization.

Computer virus:
Watch out for that new utilization virus. Be sure your scanner is up to date.

Urban legend:
Someone tried to scare me about utilization, but I went and looked it up on Snopes.
Message 1 of 30
29 REPLIES
Established Contributor

Re: Utilization Humor

And don't forget the classic:
" Utilization i snot a sexy word coming out of my mouth." -jaguls6
" I like to live as a poor man, with a lot of money." - Pablo Picasso (who was a jerk.)
Message 2 of 30
Moderator Emeritus

Re: Utilization Humor

Conspiracy theory:
Osama made my utilization spiral out of control.
 


Message Edited by masdeocho on 07-25-2007 02:04 PM
-----------------
Bartender, bring another round of FICOtinis please!

9.4.2011: TU 805. EQ 815.
Message 3 of 30
Moderator Emeritus

Re: Utilization Humor



Noah_Bodie wrote:
Pickup line:
Heh baby, what's your utilization?



I can just imagine what the reaction from a lady might be. Of course she doesn't know her credit scores let alone her util. She might think you are asking her how often she has sex! In this case high util is ideal!Smiley Tongue
Message 4 of 30
Frequent Contributor

Re: Utilization Humor


TexMontana wrote:
And don't forget the classic:
" Utilization i snot a sexy word coming out of my mouth." -jaguls6



I think I may make that my signature....

David - Utilization i snot a sexy word coming out of my mouth

Message Edited by jaguls66 on 07-24-2007 02:51 PM

Message Edited by jaguls66 on 07-24-2007 02:51 PM
Message 5 of 30
Established Contributor

Re: Utilization Humor

Now your talking!Smiley Wink
" I like to live as a poor man, with a lot of money." - Pablo Picasso (who was a jerk.)
Message 6 of 30
Regular Contributor

Re: Utilization Humor

LOL...I had a tech guy (bad date) once send me this ....It was inside a "Viagra advertisement..."
 
 
Optimize: It will increase the utilization of your hard drive and cpu so much so that you'll end up upgrading your system. See 'Increased Productivity'.
 
 
Too bad he didn't take his own advice...I suspected at first meeting his CPU could have used some hard drive only this girl had no interest in upgrading his system for utilization...;-)
 


Message Edited by Jacque383 on 07-24-2007 03:48 PM

Message Edited by Jacque383 on 07-24-2007 03:50 PM

Message Edited by Jacque383 on 07-24-2007 03:50 PM
Message 7 of 30
Moderator Emeritus

Re: Utilization Humor



Jacque383 wrote:
LOL...I had a tech guy (bad date) once send me this ....It was inside a "Viagra advertisement..."
 
 
Optimize: It will increase the utilization of your hard drive and cpu so much so that you'll end up upgrading your system. See 'Increased Productivity'.
 
 
Too bad he didn't take his own advice...I suspected at first meeting his CPU could have used some hard drive only this girl had no interest in upgrading his system for utilization...;-)
 


Message Edited by Jacque383 on 07-24-2007 03:48 PM

Message Edited by Jacque383 on 07-24-2007 03:50 PM

Message Edited by Jacque383 on 07-24-2007 03:50 PM

"I suspected at first meeting his CPU could have used some HARD DRIVE..." What does this mean, it sounds like it could funny. Or am I misreading this?
Message 8 of 30
Regular Contributor

Re: Utilization Humor

Just forget it...didn't come out quite right....That's what happens when typing, talking on the phone and looking for a file all at the same time...
 
 
 
Message 9 of 30
Moderator Emeritus

Re: Utilization Humor



Jacque383 wrote:
Just forget it...didn't come out quite right....That's what happens when typing, talking on the phone and looking for a file all at the same time...
 
 
 



I was hoping you would edit it. I could use a good laugh today!Smiley Happy
Message 10 of 30