I have an unusual situation. I am getting ready to do a formal mortgage application. I am applying alone, as I am a "single" person. Here's the rub. I was married in 1973. After a year and a half of utter nonsense from my spouse, including his refusing to hold a job, I packed my things and left. I had a hard time of it financially after that, and never had the money to get divorced. I had moved out of town, and I never saw my spouse again. At this point it has been 41 years since I have spoken to him. I beieve he divorced me and remarried. I saw his Mom's obit online, and it listed the name of his "wife". I've never been served papers and don't have a divorce decree. Will this be an issue on my mortgage application? Will I have to prove I am divorced even though I've had no contact in over 40 years? We had no children and no assets during the time we were together so there would not have been any support or distribution of assets. I do not know where he is.... and frankly never gave him a thought in all this time until I realized it could be a problem with my home purchase.
Starting Score: 597
I live in New York, so no. (Just looked it up).
The problem is I don't know where he went, or where he is. The last I heard of him, and this is 25 years ago, was that he was living in North Carolina somewhere. I wouldn't know where to start researching. There are no online records for the New York County that we lived in at the time (1975) and I am a five hour drive away from there now. I don't know what year he would have filed either.
So what if I play it safe and say I'm married? I don't have any info on him, no address, I don't even remember his date of birth ( only the year) and sure don't have his social security#. When I left him I did not want him to know where I was and cut off all contact. He was dangerous to me.
Would I just tell the LO that I am in the process of divorcing? That is my real worry, that somehow this limbo I have lived in will keep me from getting a house. When I left this crazy man I didn't work for a couple of years (went back to school and lived with cousins so he couldn't find me) . When I re-entered the work force and filed my taxes I filed as single but have always used my married last name. I did not have his SS# and didn't dare contact anyone to ask. I still had some friends in the area that we lived in, word got back to me that he was still asking for info. I supposed I will have to hire a lawyer to divorce him since I don't know where he is.
@iv wrote:Both marriage and divorce records are filed with local "Vital Records" agencies, and are available on request.
Not knowing where (or if) he may have filed makes a little bit more of a pain, but it's still trackable.
Start with the NY Department of Health - https://www.health.ny.gov/vital_records/divorce.htm
Then try the NC Department of Health and Human Services - http://vitalrecords.nc.gov/
Unfortunately these requests require information I do not have. I can't just search under my name which is the only info I truly have.