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I just closed last week on my mortgage and I figured my closing costs to be around 4,000, I was surprised when I was told it was only going to be 1,844.50. My sellers contributed 3,000 to closing (this has to be in your contract). I went FHA so the up front mortgage insurance was put into my loan but that was all I was able to add to my loan. I received some credits which helped to lower the amount as well. My GFE showed closing costs to be around 7,000 then I had the rest of my down payment about another 1,660, but thanks to all the credits it was lowered to 1,844.50. Talk to your LO he/she will be able to give you some idea of what you will need at closing, you want know the exact amount until you receive your HUD 1 statement.
Are you asking from a seller's point of view or buyer's point of view? Seller usually has a lot less closing costs than a buyer who is using a mortgage would have.
As far as the seller paying buyers closing costs, it just really depends on the market and what the seller wants to do. If your home has been listed for a long time before you get offers, you may want to consider being a little more flexible than if you get a couple offers right away (since that would indicate that your home is in high demand, because of the price or the amount of active buyers in your area, or both).
If it's an FHA or VA loan, then the upfront mortgage insurance premium (FHA) or funding fee (VA) can be rolled back into the loan (it commonly is). For USDA financing, buyers can get a loan amount up to the appraised value for the purpose of including all closing costs. Some conventional loan programs will permit financing a 1-time mortgage insurance premium as well. Other closing costs such as appraisal, underwriting fees, title insurance, settlement fees, escrow accounts, pre-paid interest, homeowners insurance, etc. are all due at closing/cannot be financed in (unless it's USDA and fits what I described above).
The real estate agent commission is whatever you want it to be. Most places is 2.5-3% per side (5-6% total).
You should contact a local title company and ask what kind of costs you'd have if you sold your home and used them as the title/closing agent, they should be happy to provide you with a list. Since it varies depending on where you are at that will be the best way to get an accurate estimate.
As far as the buyer, that also will heavily depend on where you are buying... but rough estimate is around 3% of the sales price, but usually no less than $3k ($4k if there is an escrow account being established).