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I beleive it all has to do with if you're in a community properity state. Someone with more knowledge about it will have to answer that.
USDA isn't a first time homeowner loan though, you can own previous homes and still get a USDA loan. Also every first time hownowner plan that I've seen just states that you can't have owned a home in the last 3 years. Beyond that you're a first time owner again. The important thing is USDA doesn't have first time owner as a requirement.
Just how bad is your credit? I'd have to look it up but I think a 7yr old FC is allowed by USDA. late payments in the last 12 months would be a killer and your credit scores would need to be over 620 or 640 depending on the lender. USDA requires 620+ but all the lenders I've delt with require 640+ and with 660+ they're not as strict on some things.
Depends upon what her tax returns say.
Well most mortgage lenders are going to want to see tax returns for the last two years and if there is a difference they will generally average the income. I think it is going to be quite a stretch for your wife to qualify for $265K based on her income alone. If they need your income on the loan then they will need your credit also. You said that your last 12 months is "messy" but if you do not have any late payments then there is a chance. Your past credit problems will need to be looked at by the loan officer and or underwriter to determine what can be overlooked and what will need to be paid off.
Bottom line is that if you are denied at this time then it simply means that you are not ready "Right now" to purchase a home. With a little work to straighten out your credit and a little time for your wife's income to count it could all come together in the not too distant future.
I live in Ohio and the lenders have no issue not putting me on the loan at all they didn't even pull my credit however because we are married I will have to be on the deed. That being said it might be different for you because of your income I am a full time student and had to show them proof of being a full time student and write a LOE telling them the last time I worked ect. So because I currently make no money keeping me off will not affect the income guidelines you have to fall within to get a USDA loan.
You may not be in as bad of shape as you think. Also when you're car or mortgage shopping the inq's will be lumped together so it'll only count as 1. Make sure you go over everything with the LO, could be you just need to provide some letters of explanation and you'll be ok.