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Can you get a co signer whos income can help?
They cant help with credit but they can with the income so for you it makes sense to consider it
In my (somewhat limited) experience, lenders don't care that you have kids... they care about your debt to income ratio. I am a single mom with one kid, and I found a lender who would give me a $200k loan (I earn 43k/yr, which puts my back end ratio at about 50%). My score is 660, but I got an FHA loan at 4.5% interest. My advice would be to keep your credit clean and try to convince your employer to report all of your income... at least for the next year. Once you get the loan, your employer can go back to his way of accounting.
Also, you and your wife will surely qualify for a mortgage credit certificate. Some lenders count this certificate as income... I know for a fact that FHA allows it to be considered income because I called FHA about it. It's up to the lender to count that as income, so I would find out if your state or local municipality offers the certificate and then get a list of lenders who offer the certificate. For example, I found a good lender by Googling "mortgage credit certificate illinois."
First, is the house in a rural area if so you will MORE than qualify for a USDA Direct Loan, if your in a big city forget it. check the USDA website.
Second, check your state government for programs. South Carolina is sponsoring a $5000 program in addition to the feds $8000 tax credit. Georgia is giving $3000, so check with your state government, they always have programs for low income people like us!