How to persuade father to write a will?

[Anonymous]

Hi guys. I apologize in advance if this is on the wrong board- I felt that it belonged here more than in the Relationships & Money board since this isn't really straining our relationship, but rather, I'm just looking for advice.

Both my parents (separated for 10 years, eventually to be divorced) have assets managed under Ameriprise, and my father has an additional account managed by Charles Schwab. My mother has her will all written out, and has my sister and I as beneficiaries in her Ameriprise account, so I'm not worried about her. My father, on the other hand, has no will, no estate, no nothing. My mother's Ameriprise was passed down to her after her brother and father passed away, so she's always been aware of wealth management and the need to have one's (as she would say) "ducks in a row". My father, on the other hand, was left nothing when his father passed, so he has no experience with any of this.

My father always says he doesn't want to be like my mother's father, who "sat on his money and never spent it". He always throws around mantras like "you can't take it with you when you die", and claims that he'll just "spend it all before I die". Though I think talking about money is tacky, I think for the purpose of this discussion, it's necessary to make my father's assets known. I know he wouldn't mind this, since I'm his money manager now that my mom doesn't take care of it anymore, so he has full knowledge that I know about this stuff. I'm also not trying to brag by any means- this is my parent's money, not mine, nor am I trying to act like it is mine.

He has a savings account with ~$89k in it, a checking account with ~$15k in it (both at a local CU), an Ameriprise account with ~$400k in it, and a Charles Schwab account with ~$600k in it. As for debt, he has a credit card from a local CU that he literally never uses (his first CC ever, at the age of 56), and he's making payments on our house in New York, which I believe has ~$50k left on it (don't quote me on that), but he's currently selling it. Other than that, he has a 1997 Ford F-350 which he paid cash for at the time, a 2014 Subaru Impreza Crosstrek XV which again, he paid cash for, and various new pieces of lawn equipment (new-ish zero turn mower, backhoe, etc.)

My biggest worry is that he suddenly passes (though he's not sick now, he's getting to the same age where other males in his family passed away) and my sister and I have to fight over stuff in probate. (Not really fight, but just have to deal with that process.) Is there any advice y'all could give me on how to convince my dad to write a will? He knows I'm not trying to get him to write one just so I can get an inheritance, nor is he too cheap to get one, he just doesn't see the point of one.

[Anonymous]

A possible way to approach it would be to explain that wills also dictate funeral arrangements and make things a lot easier on surviving family & friends when you die. Since he knows the complication that can be involved in death, you can sell a will as a way to make his wishes known after he dies and simplify what could otherwise be a complicated and confusing time.

[Anonymous]

I'm not sure how to approach it with him outside of stating it will be much easier on you and your sister and won't lead to conflict which unfortunately death and money typically does.

What I wanted to say is look into establishing a trust as well and putting his assets in the trust. A will still has to be probated but a trust does not. The funds can flow straight to you and your sister according to the trust which is a much faster and easier process. If he was to buy another house he can also hold it within the trust.

It is far cheaper to setup an estate plan before you pass than for your heirs to probate after.

http://info.legalzoom.com/much-cost-probate-will-3816.html

[Anonymous]

Thank you guys for your input. I really do appreciate your additions, as I know very little about this subject. I'm only 18, and am the only person that advocates for my otherwise financially-clueless father. Hopefully he'll bite on the idea of making post-mortem arrangements much easier for us- I'll keep you guys updated!

[bada_bing]

Show your dad what happens to his estate in the state he lives in if he

dies without a will. In New York:

https://www.nycourts.gov/courthelp/WhenSomeoneDies/intestacy.shtml

If he is good with that, it is his money, although a simple will and specifying

an executor will make things much, much easier on the family.

I'm the executor of my parent's estate and the oldest of 3 siblings. Above and

beyond the loss when my parents pass, I also dread handling the estate. At least

in our family, It is something that needs a family member specified and involved

to hopefully keep things from going off the tracks. My sibling's spouses have both

already been executors of their parents estates and one was a trainwreck and

the other could have gone a lot better. Its a bad thing when a parent's death and the

subsequent emotional and financial issues permanently damage the relationship

between surviving family members. But that almost seems the norm rather than

the exception.