My wife just told me about 50,000 in hidden debt.

[Anonymous]

For the food bank in my area you have to  provide proof of income. If I walked in there with a 60K income I would be shown the door. However there are still plently of low end TV dinners and "box dinners' at the store. During 2006- 2009 I made to much for food  stamps but was chasing CLD with every dime I had. $1 TV dinners and box dinners were at our table every night. I hated it. 

[Aprile421]

"Families with small children making under 20k a year can qualify for food stamps.  They don't need to go to a food bank.  "

People on Food Stamps do go to Food Banks because Food Stamps is hardly enough to feed a family with children.

[Anonymous]

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@Anonymous wrote:

I went ahead with the 401K loan. I'm young enough for it not to affect my retirement in any way, thankfully. I took out 15,000 instead of 10,000 so that helps a little bit more. I'm not going to touch my stock at the moment, and I'm leaving my stock and 401k contributions the same. Hopefully, that's the right decision.

We worked on email accounts this weekend. She said there are lots of things on pre-order and items that were ordered that she has not received yet. Not including any pre-order items, there were 800 some dollars worth of products on our way to our house! Therapist appointment is today. She wants me to go with her; I decided not to. I think it's better if she can be completely open on her own. Who knows? She may have some issue from her past she hasn't dealt with.

I also decided not to use a credit service. I want to try and do this on my own. It's horrible, but I think it could have been a whole lot worse. Our biggest creditor is Comenity. Do I have any chance with them lowering our interest rates at all? On one of the bigger cards, it's 27% I think the bill is 200 a month and 94 is interest.

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I am late to this thread but just wanted to take a moment to commend you for your dedication and commitment to your marriage. This is not going to be easy but your wife is a lucky woman to have your support. I do hope you both are able to work through this difficult time as quickly and painlessly as possible.

[Anonymous]

I went to a food bank, which also did a lot of other services, for most of the decade from 2005 to 2015 because my income was just that low, even when I wasn't experiencing serious debt difficulties otherwise. They required income verification every so often (at least once a year, I think) and you could only come in once a month as a regular thing, where they'd give you about a week's worth of food, though you could get emergency disbursements if you applied to them for financial assistance with rent or utilities. I was on food stamps a couple of times during that period - I forget how much during the first period but during the second period, which was more or less from late 2014 until I got employed full-time again, I only got $44/month because of my income (even though it was mostly SSDI at that time).  It was a lot more generous the first time around, so I think the difference was in large part due to different jurisdictions (I had moved to my current apartment by 2014).

[Anonymous]

This option may depend a lot upon where one lives. I know of several food shelves around here that do not require any proof of income. Anyone who feel that they are in need are welcome. That being said, I would guess this is not an option that the OP would consider since he appears to be dedicated to working out the problem they find themselves in through hard work. However, another option is that some areas have local food shares. We have community centers that once a month purchase produce and meat in bulk and then package it into smaller packages that one can buy quite cheaply. We can get the produce box ($10), the meat box ($20) or both ($25) and it will provide for about half a families meals in a month. They often include some other staples too such as rice or pasta. It it open to all and they encourage as many as possible to participate becasue that makes it easier to get deals. We don't get to pick and choose so it might be difficult if one is a picky eater or has dietary restrictions but with some flexibility I find it to be a great opportunity to watch my food budget (and I just give friends/loved ones the things I really have no interest in since the cost was minimal anyway). It might be worth checking wtih local community centers if something like this is available in your area.

[Azza]

Hey OP, sounds like you got a bum deal. But to echo many in the thread, you're being a stand-up guy.

You must love your wife, and having one of my own I can tell you that even during financial distress in a marriage, money can be fixed and patched. It takes hard work, sacrifice and compromise. The one reason though you guys are doing this though is because you love each other. She came and told you, and now you are going to work it out!

I'm not going to lie though, I am morbidly curious as to how she racked up all that debt and you had no idea about all the new stuff flowing into your place.

Anyway to the credit itself, I'm really new to all this stuff. My thought is ignore your credit right now and start working on a way to pay all that debt off. Your credit is sunk, you're in the absolute crapper, rock bottom. Time to IGNORE AND FORGET ABOUT your credit score, in my opinion. Worry about your credit when you've paid your debt. Because your credit report is a living thing, it will reflect your diligence in paying off all your debt.

I don't know anything about bankruptcy so I am not going to say anything about it. What I can do though, is offer some advice on paying debt! (I just raised my credit score 150 points in about a month and a half.)

1) Do you have any emergency funds? If you have any emergency money, I would start eliminating cards starting with the ones carrying the largest balances. You seem fortunate, out of those cards you listed many of them have very small balances on them. The interest is ANNUAL interest, not MONTHLY interest, so 20% on $45 isn't going to kill you. Pay the minimum on all the cards that you can and then start to chip away heavily at the larger balances.

2) I know that you are in dire straits, but a Credit Union is likely to hear your plea for help and extend you credit. When my wife and I had garbo credit (like, in the 600s) we were able to get a personal loan AND a credit card. What you can do is tell your credit union that you'd like to get a credit card from them with as low APR as possible, in exchange for doing a balance transfer and closing as many of those cards as possible. I guarantee you if you sit with them and show them your report they will listen to your case.

Right now your goal is simple but complicated: pay off the debt. I would not steal from the future security to pay for yesterday's mistakes, so I'd keep your retirement locked away. This is all the suggestions I am willing to give; your life is yours and I am just a watcher with some history of my own.

Good luck, OP! You can do it

[sarge12]

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@Azza wrote:

Hey OP, sounds like you got a bum deal. But to echo many in the thread, you're being a stand-up guy.

You must love your wife, and having one of my own I can tell you that even during financial distress in a marriage, money can be fixed and patched. It takes hard work, sacrifice and compromise. The one reason though you guys are doing this though is because you love each other. She came and told you, and now you are going to work it out!

I'm not going to lie though, I am morbidly curious as to how she racked up all that debt and you had no idea about all the new stuff flowing into your place.

Anyway to the credit itself, I'm really new to all this stuff. My thought is ignore your credit right now and start working on a way to pay all that debt off. Your credit is sunk, you're in the absolute crapper, rock bottom. Time to IGNORE AND FORGET ABOUT your credit score, in my opinion. Worry about your credit when you've paid your debt. Because your credit report is a living thing, it will reflect your diligence in paying off all your debt.

I don't know anything about bankruptcy so I am not going to say anything about it. What I can do though, is offer some advice on paying debt! (I just raised my credit score 150 points in about a month and a half.)

1) Do you have any emergency funds? If you have any emergency money, I would start eliminating cards starting with the ones carrying the largest balances. You seem fortunate, out of those cards you listed many of them have very small balances on them. The interest is ANNUAL interest, not MONTHLY interest, so 20% on $45 isn't going to kill you. Pay the minimum on all the cards that you can and then start to chip away heavily at the larger balances.

2) I know that you are in dire straits, but a Credit Union is likely to hear your plea for help and extend you credit. When my wife and I had garbo credit (like, in the 600s) we were able to get a personal loan AND a credit card. What you can do is tell your credit union that you'd like to get a credit card from them with as low APR as possible, in exchange for doing a balance transfer and closing as many of those cards as possible. I guarantee you if you sit with them and show them your report they will listen to your case.

Right now your goal is simple but complicated: pay off the debt. I would not steal from the future security to pay for yesterday's mistakes, so I'd keep your retirement locked away. This is all the suggestions I am willing to give; your life is yours and I am just a watcher with some history of my own.

Good luck, OP! You can do it

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This is not really true...credit cards charge an APR...to determine the interest to be paid the APR is divided by 365 to come up with a daily periodic rate, the amount of interest you pay in a month is the daily periodic rate times the average daily balance times the number of days in that month. The end result is that the interest on $45 would be the same regardless of the balance if it were not for the fact that most cards have a minimum amount of interest clause. You should always pay the small balances first, all else being equal, especially balances so small that the minimum interest paid might cause the real interest rate to be higher.

[Azza]

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@sarge12 wrote:

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This is not really true...credit cards charge an APR...to determine the interest to be paid the APR is divided by 365 to come up with a daily periodic rate, the amount of interest you pay in a month is the daily periodic rate times the average daily balance times the number of days in that month. The end result is that the interest on $45 would be the same regardless of the balance if it were not for the fact that most cards have a minimum amount of interest clause. You should always pay the small balances first, all else being equal, especially balances so small that the minimum interest paid might cause the real interest rate to be higher.

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What I meant to say is the 20% will only hit in small amounts while he pays off the larger cards. The big cards are a serious threat.

Anyway, I read above he decided to take out $15k from retirement, so I am sure he is well on his way to deleting this debt.

[sarge12]

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@Azza wrote:

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@sarge12 wrote:

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This is not really true...credit cards charge an APR...to determine the interest to be paid the APR is divided by 365 to come up with a daily periodic rate, the amount of interest you pay in a month is the daily periodic rate times the average daily balance times the number of days in that month. The end result is that the interest on $45 would be the same regardless of the balance if it were not for the fact that most cards have a minimum amount of interest clause. You should always pay the small balances first, all else being equal, especially balances so small that the minimum interest paid might cause the real interest rate to be higher.

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What I meant to say is the 20% will only hit in small amounts while he pays off the larger cards. The big cards are a serious threat.

Anyway, I read above he decided to take out $15k from retirement, so I am sure he is well on his way to deleting this debt.

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I understand your intent, but did not want someone to have the mistaken impression that they are not charged interest on a monthly basis...they are actually charged interest on the average daily balance on a monthly basis. The interest acrued on 45 dollars of a 450 dollar balance is the same as 45 dollars of a 4500 balance if the APR is the same. When it is a very small balance the minimum interest in the contract...often 1 dollar...will actually make this higher than the APR.

[sarge12]

I want to add this tip for anyone paying down large balances on a credit card. If you are paid twice a month, and you are able to pay 1000 dollars a month on paying down a card, you will save interest if you pay 500 dollars twice a month, because it will make the average daily balance that month lower. So rather than saving 500 out of a paycheck until you get another 500 in the next paycheck, just pay 500 twice and it will lower the interest charged that month.