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My wife just told me about 50,000 in hidden debt.

Regular Contributor

Re: My wife just told me about 50,000 in hidden debt.

I don't have much helpful to say - just that I am sorry you are going through this and wish you the best of luck.

Contributor

Re: My wife just told me about 50,000 in hidden debt.

Shopping can be an addiction or a side affect of another addiction.

 

As someone who has gone through an ugly divorce I'd like to remind you that there is always someone who has it worse (me lol) and while this is horrible and needs to be addressed if crazy spending was the only problem my marriage had we would still be married.

 

Get the bills under control, have some couples and separate therapy and you should be able to get through this.  

 

Hang in there.

 

 

Moderator

Re: My wife just told me about 50,000 in hidden debt.

Just a friendly reminder to keep things on-topic... the OP came here for financial advice, nothing more.

 

--UB

New Member

Re: My wife just told me about 50,000 in hidden debt.

I went ahead with the 401K loan. I'm young enough for it not to affect my retirement in any way, thankfully. I took out 15,000 instead of 10,000 so that helps a little bit more. I'm not going to touch my stock at the moment, and I'm leaving my stock and 401k contributions the same. Hopefully, that's the right decision.

 

We worked on email accounts this weekend. She said there are lots of things on pre-order and items that were ordered that she has not received yet. Not including any pre-order items, there were 800 some dollars worth of products on our way to our house! Therapist appointment is today. She wants me to go with her; I decided not to. I think it's better if she can be completely open on her own. Who knows? She may have some issue from her past she hasn't dealt with.

 

I also decided not to use a credit service. I want to try and do this on my own. It's horrible, but I think it could have been a whole lot worse. Our biggest creditor is Comenity. Do I have any chance with them lowering our interest rates at all? On one of the bigger cards, it's 27% I think the bill is 200 a month and 94 is interest.

Frequent Contributor

Re: My wife just told me about 50,000 in hidden debt.

You are indeed a great man. Lots of respect for you I hope it all works out




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Member

Re: My wife just told me about 50,000 in hidden debt.

For that 401k loan, please remember about the tax penalties far in advance of when they're going to hit you with them. It would be a shame to forget & be hit with a surprise just when you're breathing easy again.

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Contributor

Re: My wife just told me about 50,000 in hidden debt.

don't think there is a penalty to take out a loan against the 401K as long as you make all the repayments under the terms of the loan.

Community Leader
Valued Contributor

Re: My wife just told me about 50,000 in hidden debt.

There is no tax penalty for taking out a loan


Uh wrote:

For that 401k loan, please remember about the tax penalties far in advance of when they're going to hit you with them. It would be a shame to forget & be hit with a surprise just when you're breathing easy again.


OP, I'm glad you were able to get a little bit extra.  If you call any of the lenders to ask for interest rate reductions, make sure they that are not putting you into any in house program where they will report negatively on your credit report.  You only have the 1 late right now so that's in pretty good shape.  But definitely call to ask them all for rate reductions!

 

Also, looking at the accounts, Credit One is probably charging you all sorts of fee's.  I would get those paid off and closed.  Check to make sure none of the other cards have any fee's associated with them.  If they have an annual fee, but it's going to be awhile before it's charged again, make note of it but keep the account open for now.  I would close out your wife's accounts but leave yours open until you get closer to having a big portion paid.  Having high utiization is already affecting your credit score, if you close the accounts too soon, it will cause your utilization to look even higher and could cause more harm in the short term.  Also, having more than 50% of your accounts showing a balance can cause a score drop.  I'm sure right now your credit report is the least of your concerns, but if you can get the debt under control enough to qualify for a personal loan at a lower interest rate then that will save you even more money.  I still recommend that you pay off all of your debts with the $15,000 first.  Again, if you can get your credit report to a better position, this will increase your likelyhood of being able to take out a personal loan at a lower interest rate and a fixed term to pay off her remaining cards.

 

 



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Valued Member

Re: My wife just told me about 50,000 in hidden debt.

I am sorry to read this as it mirrors my story of thinking I was 0 in debt and finding out I was 80K in debt from my now ex-wife living off credit when she lost her job.  I ended up filing CH13 but only for a few reasons.  I had a 80/20 mortgage and the CH13 stripped the 2nd unsecured note (saved me $1000 monthly).  I tried working w//the companies to settle for less to no avail and w/the mortgage company for a loan mod well before deciding on the CH13.  Without the 80/20 mortgage I probably would have just filed a CH7 and have recovered quicker but I am happy with the pace I have recovered.  I was sick in my stomach w/the weight of the debt and just the thought of the CH13 (like I failed as a adult and as a husband for not noticiing).  I am in agreement w/some here to just pull the Dave Ramsy plan and attack the small cards first, then work your way from there but in the end you are talking the same recovery time.  The CH7 or CH13 puts money back in your pocket immediately, hurts your ego but lets you breathe while still maintaining your 401 and probably taking some of the stress away from what I can only imagine is a stressed marriage.  Just my $.02 but believe me, with a plan it's completely recoverable whichever way you go.  But your first course of action is to close all the cards (keep open the ones you want), freeze your reports.  Best of luck to you. 

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Valued Contributor

Re: My wife just told me about 50,000 in hidden debt.


Gypsy5326 wrote:

I am sorry to read this as it mirrors my story of thinking I was 0 in debt and finding out I was 80K in debt from my now ex-wife living off credit when she lost her job.  I ended up filing CH13 but only for a few reasons.  I had a 80/20 mortgage and the CH13 stripped the 2nd unsecured note (saved me $1000 monthly).  I tried working w//the companies to settle for less to no avail and w/the mortgage company for a loan mod well before deciding on the CH13.  Without the 80/20 mortgage I probably would have just filed a CH7 and have recovered quicker but I am happy with the pace I have recovered.  I was sick in my stomach w/the weight of the debt and just the thought of the CH13 (like I failed as a adult and as a husband for not noticiing).  I am in agreement w/some here to just pull the Dave Ramsy plan and attack the small cards first, then work your way from there but in the end you are talking the same recovery time.  The CH7 or CH13 puts money back in your pocket immediately, hurts your ego but lets you breathe while still maintaining your 401 and probably taking some of the stress away from what I can only imagine is a stressed marriage.  Just my $.02 but believe me, with a plan it's completely recoverable whichever way you go.  But your first course of action is to close all the cards (keep open the ones you want), freeze your reports.  Best of luck to you. 


Gypsy5326...you did not have to repost the same message to add the line you added....In the right hand corner you can choose the option to edit your previous post and then add to it, or correct errors.




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