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Ripping me apart...

New Member

Ripping me apart...

 

Greetings from the 400 club [TU 461, EQ 469, EX 476]. This is my first post. I’ve been lurking for a while, so it’s time I finally contributed a little.

 

Thank you to everybody who has taken the time to share. What an incredible, priceless resource this forum is. Everyone’s been so supportive and transparent here that I was inspired to share my story, too. Hopefully it will inspire somebody else out there like others have inspired me.

 

As an entrepreneur/creative-type, my credit was never the best to begin with, but the last 18 months have been brutal.

 

My wife had a violent nervous breakdown after the birth of our son. I eventually had to get a restraining order to keep her from getting arrested or committed. I work from home, so my business crashed, and so did my FICO score. We separated because it became impossible to make any money in that environment. She filed for divorce and made it difficult at times to see my son, just as he was learning to talk.

 

I lost 10 months of watching him grow that I will never get back. I waited a long time to have a child, and I love my new son more than anything, so not being able to wake up with him and see him and feed him and play with him every day like I used to has just been ripping me apart.

 

Then late last year I was diagnosed with early onset Parkinson’s. (It’s the degenerative neuromuscular disease that Michael J. Fox has and Muhammad Ali had.)

 

Although meds can help with symptoms, there is no cure. From what they tell me, it looks like I have the “atypical” kind, which means I might live a long time with it or experience a significantly reduced life expectancy - nobody knows for sure.

 

One thing I do know is that I refuse to feel like a victim. We can’t control everything that happens to us but I believe that most of us have control over how we choose to respond. I’ve decided I’m going to recognize this challenge as an opportunity to grow and improve and bounce back bigger.

 

I’m going to use everything that’s happened to make sure I end up better than I would have if it hadn’t happened. That way, it’s a net positive and it becomes a gift. Last month I finally got on some meds that manage my symptoms enough so that now I can finally start to tackle this credit disaster. I’m going to rebuild my credit so that it’s better than it ever was before.

 

I’m doing it to be the best possible father I can be for my little boy and to be able to spend as much time with him as I can. He deserves it. He’s so amazing. I miss him so badly that sometimes it feels like I can’t breathe.

 

So if you’ve ever been through your own dark night of the soul, or if you’re fighting through it right now, believe me… I know how you feel. It’s been the biggest struggle of my life just to keep my head on straight and not give up on believing in a better tomorrow, but he needs me to be strong right now, so that’s why I’m here. For him. You just need to find your why and then you’ll figure out your how.

 

Tomorrow is what we make it, so my goal is straight 740’s across the board within 28 months. Assuming my lowest score [TU 461] doesn’t get any lower, that’s going to require an increase of 279 points.

 

Whenever that seems nuts, I just remember the saying that every mighty oak tree was once just a little nut that stood its ground against the strongest winds. So maybe being a little nut is a good thing in this case. Maybe it’s what’s required.

 

Besides… 28 months x 30 days = 840 days. When you break it down that way, 200 more points only requires adding a third of a point per day, averaged out. Seems doable. They put a man on the moon, right?

 

If this was easy then everybody would be doing it, but if it was impossible, then nobody would be doing it. And if you look around this forum, you’ll see that’s not the case. A lot of people are doing it, so you and I can do it, too. It’s just a discipline, a craft like any other that requires respect, study, practice and patience to eventually master.

 

I can do that. One day at a time, with the wealth of information and support and experience available here, step by step, we can all surely do that.

 

There’s a poem called “The Sundial” by by Henry Vandyke:

 

“The shadow by my finger cast, Divides the future from the past.

Before it, sleeps the unborn hour, In darkness, and beyond thy power.

Behind its unreturning line, The vanished hour, no longer thine.

One hour alone is in thy hands, The NOW on which the shadow stands.”

 

Action is the magic word. One of the first steps I’ve taken is to pull my 3 bureau scores. If you haven’t done that yet, that’s priority #1.

 

If you’ve been procrastinating it, I get it, but just grab the bull by the horns, bite the bullet, get your report, and you’re halfway there. Avoiding it is worse than just facing it and getting it over with, believe me. Clarity is key. That act alone instantly puts you back in control.

 

I’m posting my scores below and will continue to update my progress. They say to turn your mess into your message, so that’s what I’m doing… turning all these lemons into a lemonade stand. I’d love to hear your story and keep up with your progress, too.

 

I’ve gotten so much out of this community. I hope this pays it forward a little bit.

 

It’s never too late to be who you might have been. Let’s all stick together, be strong, remain positive, take action and stay focused. Like many have already proven here and on other boards… together, we can do it.

 

Any advice from you 600 & 700 club long-haulers out there on the best ways to go from 461 to 740 in 28 months? Any major do’s or don’ts starting out?

 

Thanks in advance.

 

My June 2016 FICO Report Summary:

TU 461 [1 pos + 8 neg accts  |  0% util  |  0 inquries]

EQ 469 [0 pos + 7 neg accts  |  0% util  |  2 inquries]

EX 476 [1 pos + 5 neg accts  |  0% util  |  3 inquries]

No credit cards, auto loans, or mortgage yet


By the way, last week I heard my son call me “papa” for the first time. Hang in there… it gets better. Just keep your eyes on the prize and don’t give up. ;-)

- NewPapaRebuilding


Started June 2016: TU 461, EQ 469, EX 476 | Goal by October 2018 = FICO 740 x 3 bureaus

"The best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago. The second best time is now." - Chinese Proverb
Message 1 of 10
9 REPLIES
Established Contributor

Re: Ripping me apart...

As a divorced dad, I understand it all too well. 

 

But as you say, it's what you make of it, and the relationship I have with my kids is one of the best parts of my life. So anything is possible. 

 

Hard to give a lot of advice without details, but my mantra is get organized, put it all on paper or in a spreadsheet so you can see it all in it's ugly glory, and then make a plan. 

 

I've climbed just about 100 points on all three reports in the four months or so I've been working at it. So it's definitely possible. Good luck! 

Message 2 of 10
Frequent Contributor

Re: Ripping me apart...

I divorced my wife about 6 months ago because stealing my money from the bank account while i was trying to fix my bills and stuff. She was very abusive. Also, in denial that our daughter may have autism. Now that I have full custody, I am a stay at home dad because of her medical appointments. I drive 2.5 hours one way once a month to just get a few tests done. I am just saying that everything is possible. In Nov 2015 I was at about 510 on average now I am 635 on average on my credit scores. 

FICO Scores starting as of 3/11/16: EQ-607,TU-639 ,EX-627 (6/22/2016 EQ-621,TU-637, EX-653)
USAA Classic 1k, F.Premier 300, CreditOne 600, CareCredit 500, CareCarOne 700, AmazonStore 3500, WalmartStore 3500, Target 700, VS 250. Cap1 Plat 800 Lowes 300..Legacy 500 and Blaze 750..AU on Cap1Quick 300...ULTI 65.2%
Goal is 700 across all 3 scores by Christmas of 2016
Message 3 of 10
Valued Contributor

Re: Ripping me apart...


jjking54 wrote:

As a divorced dad, I understand it all too well. 

 

But as you say, it's what you make of it, and the relationship I have with my kids is one of the best parts of my life. So anything is possible. 

 

Hard to give a lot of advice without details, but my mantra is get organized, put it all on paper or in a spreadsheet so you can see it all in it's ugly glory, and then make a plan. 

 

I've climbed just about 100 points on all three reports in the four months or so I've been working at it. So it's definitely possible. Good luck! 


I agree with this.  It's tough to do, but the only way to get the ball rolling is to look it in the face and move forward with action.

EX 08 Fico: 729 TU 08 Fico: 735EQ 08 Fico: 740Total Credit Line: $128,600Utilization: 6%Inquiries:EX-6TU-7EQ-5


Message 4 of 10
Regular Contributor

Re: Ripping me apart...

Yes, it  IS possible. I myself have grown about 200 points across the board in 8 months (almost 9) ..... I started in late October in the mid 400's by cleaning up, paying off, getting negative items removed & most importantly playing with utilization on cards.

 

I started with a Fingerhut Freshstart, then the secured from Cap1 & now a Platinum from Cap1 as well. 

Start Fico: EX 526 | EQ 532 | TU 537 --- Feb 2016
Curr Fico: EX 652 | EQ 663 | TU 680 --- Sep 2016

Goal Score : 620 all across the board. . . . Started in the mid/high 400s in October 2015
Message 5 of 10
Established Member

Re: Ripping me apart...

i was once in the 400 club. i was divorced with 2 kids.  i wasnt receiving child support and was working 3 jobs at different times during the last 4 years.  Some of the best advice on rebuilding my credit was found on myfico forums.  There is a huge wealth of info on here.  I did it without using a credit rebuilding service and so can you.  Ask a lot of questions on here and folks will offer great and honest advice that works.  I just closed on a new home last month and i never thought it would happen but it did.

 

Best of luck to you!

tarheelnation
Message 6 of 10
Regular Contributor

Re: Ripping me apart...

Great attitude to start with.

For helping with those scores, if you list out the negative accounts, we can make some recommendations on how to tackle them.

We also need to get you going with 3 revolving trade lines and 1 installment account. For the installment account, search for Alliant loans on the boards and go from there. For the 3 revolving you may need to start with secured credit cards, my suggestion is Capital One and Discover. Plus take a look at what credit unions you can join....start building a relationship with them....some favs of the board are PendFed, NavyFed, DCU.

Keep that utilization low and make payments on time and I think you will be surprised how quickly your score will grow.
Message 7 of 10
Established Contributor

Re: Ripping me apart...


Rewis25 wrote:

I divorced my wife about 6 months ago because stealing my money from the bank account while i was trying to fix my bills and stuff. She was very abusive. Also, in denial that our daughter may have autism. Now that I have full custody, I am a stay at home dad because of her medical appointments. I drive 2.5 hours one way once a month to just get a few tests done. I am just saying that everything is possible. In Nov 2015 I was at about 510 on average now I am 635 on average on my credit scores. 


Congrats on your progress.

Goal: 700's by 11/1/2015 (all baddies will be gone)



Message 8 of 10
Established Contributor

Re: Ripping me apart...


WiscoBrokeGirl wrote:

Yes, it  IS possible. I myself have grown about 200 points across the board in 8 months (almost 9) ..... I started in late October in the mid 400's by cleaning up, paying off, getting negative items removed & most importantly playing with utilization on cards.

 

I started with a Fingerhut Freshstart, then the secured from Cap1 & now a Platinum from Cap1 as well. 


Wow, that's great progress. Congrats.

Goal: 700's by 11/1/2015 (all baddies will be gone)



Message 9 of 10
Highlighted
Established Contributor

Re: Ripping me apart...

NewPapa, congrats on your little baby!

 

Just keep working at it and never give up...you can make it, just like you wrote "a few points every day)...

Goal: 700's by 11/1/2015 (all baddies will be gone)



Message 10 of 10