what do you think of this GW to Credit Agency

[gingerdad]

Not sure if this is the right forum, but see proposed GW.

Paid this medical collections several years ago, but would like to get this off of my credit report.  Any thoughts?  Based on another letter I saw.

One note – I have tried several times over the years to get this removed, always through the phone.  Well before I learned of this site.  AND, while I am generally reasonably levelheaded, I once yelled at someone there over the phone.  Regret it, but she was snotty.  Given this one last try and then just letting this time out.

To Whom It May Concern:

I am writing to see if you would be willing to make a "goodwill" adjustment to your reporting to the three credit reporting agencies. The above referenced account was placed with you for collections by [] in 2006. I paid the account in full on [], 2007.

Because I have paid the account in full, I would like you to consider deleting the account from your records and stop reporting to the three credit reporting agencies. There are a couple of extenuating circumstances.

First, the insurance company delayed payment to [] University because the claim was miscoded – under the name of the optometrist instead of the University.  It was an entirely covered claim, but because of the miscoding, they initially refused coverage (despite the fact that I had been going to the University for years and eye exams such as this had always been covered).  Initially I though delays in payment would work itself out; but after several months and further investigation I was able to determine with the insurance company that this was a miscoding.  I paid your office the amount of the claim, while I resolved the matter. 

Second, in 2006 my twins were born premature and my wife suffered some post-partum complications, resulting in substantial number of medical bills.  Your claim is the only one to go to collections: ironic considering it was one of the smallest ones and was denied by insurance only because of the miscoding.  While it was responsibility to handle bills, I was simply overwhelmed by medical bills that year, which led to some of the delay in resolving the matter.

Third, apparently your company called my home phone before you reporting it to the bureaus.  Unfortunately, my mother-in-law answered the call, for which English is a second language.  She never informed me of the call and did not understand it to be a serious call.

Fourth, this is the ONLY derogatory item on my credit report, but is causing me significant problems.  I recently started my own business and was denied a working capital line of credit.  The bank officer could only find this old collection as an explanation for my credit score not being above their minimum for this type of loan.  The bank has offered an alternative line of credit, but at a rate of nearly 20%!  Again, this is the ONLY derogatory matter on my credit report and since this matter I have maintained an excellent payment records with all of my creditors; I have never had a single late payment on any of my other accounts. 

I understand that this is an unusual request.  Since this collection account is not a reflection of my current creditworthiness, I am requesting that you give me a second chance by deleting this account.  Please let me know if you require any further information from me that would help in reaching a positive outcome. Thank you very much for the time you have taken to read my letter.

Sincerely,

[RobertEG]

A bit long, but puts some compassion into the request.

Well done, and good luck!

[Shogun]

+1 shorten it down just a bit.  But overall, not bad.  Good Luck