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A crush on someone, and feeling you aren't good enough because of your financial problems.

A crush on someone, and feeling you aren't good enough because of your financial problems.

This feels awkward...since most of these posts are about ACTUAL relationships.

 

But I have a crush on a guy right now who as far as I know has one car loan. I work with him. I dont think he has tons of cc debt, though I guess you really never know. But I've always seen him use a debit card.

 

I feel like he would be really disgusted by all my student loans (he didn't go to college) and my cc debt. I feel as if he would find it a huge turnoff, and would never want to date me. It makes me feel very ashamed. Sometimes I think he might like me, but he might run for the hills if he knew I had nearly $47k (you read that right) in student loans, and $1600 in cc debt. : (

 

Has anyone here dealt with debt, loans, and feeling like someone would reject you because of crappy finances?

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Message 1 of 19
18 REPLIES
Valued Contributor

Re: A crush on someone, and feeling you aren't good enough because of your financial problems.


triedtogetacardandcouldnt wrote:

This feels awkward...since most of these posts are about ACTUAL relationships.

 

But I have a crush on a guy right now who as far as I know has one car loan. I work with him. I dont think he has tons of cc debt, though I guess you really never know. But I've always seen him use a debit card.

 

I feel like he would be really disgusted by all my student loans (he didn't go to college) and my cc debt. I feel as if he would find it a huge turnoff, and would never want to date me. It makes me feel very ashamed. Sometimes I think he might like me, but he might run for the hills if he knew I had nearly $47k (you read that right) in student loans, and $1600 in cc debt. : (

 

Has anyone here dealt with debt, loans, and feeling like someone would reject you because of crappy finances?


Haven't had your situation, but $1600 isn't that much in CC debt.  Have you graduated?  If you haven't what about applying and at least getting your AA.  Anyway what interest rate are you paying on your student loans?  If you're interest is too high, there's a bill before Congress to allow you to reduce the rate.  

 

In the mean time, remember people spend just as much money for a 4-6 year car loan and they have nothing to show for it in the end.  Your education has value even if you haven't completed your studies.  If you have completed your studies, it's worth even more.  As long as you're responsible with your debt, it won't be a turn off.  Just get to know him and let him get to know you.  Good luck.

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Message 2 of 19
Valued Contributor

Re: A crush on someone, and feeling you aren't good enough because of your financial problems.

I generally find if the guy is attracted to you he doesn't care about anything else, at least initally. So ask him out and get to know him. No regrets in life, so ask him out or you'll wonder "what if"

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Message 3 of 19
Established Contributor

Re: A crush on someone, and feeling you aren't good enough because of your financial problems.


youdontkillmoney wrote:

I generally find if the guy is attracted to you he doesn't care about anything else, at least initally. So ask him out and get to know him. No regrets in life, so ask him out or you'll wonder "what if"


This.  Further, one's financial situation is not a topic until things might get serious anyway.

Message 4 of 19

Re: A crush on someone, and feeling you aren't good enough because of your financial problems.

Oh, and there's my bankruptcy. I'm sure he'll find that very attractive.

 

I realize that it's not something to get into until things are serious, but many people don't even want to date someone with financial problems in the first place.

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Message 5 of 19
Established Member

Re: A crush on someone, and feeling you aren't good enough because of your financial problems.



triedtogetacardandcouldnt wrote:

Oh, and there's my bankruptcy. I'm sure he'll find that very attractive.

 

I realize that it's not something to get into until things are serious, but many people don't even want to date someone with financial problems in the first place.




I think the fact that you are trying to get everything in order and working on improving your financial situation mutes a lot of the bad from the past. What you did then only matters now if you aren't trying to make it better.

 

Ask him lunch and keep it cheap lol


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Message 6 of 19
Valued Contributor

Re: A crush on someone, and feeling you aren't good enough because of your financial problems.


Carrie_in_Pa wrote:


triedtogetacardandcouldnt wrote:

Oh, and there's my bankruptcy. I'm sure he'll find that very attractive.

 

I realize that it's not something to get into until things are serious, but many people don't even want to date someone with financial problems in the first place.




I think the fact that you are trying to get everything in order and working on improving your financial situation mutes a lot of the bad from the past. What you did then only matters now if you aren't trying to make it better.

 

Ask him lunch and keep it cheap lol


 +1 I could care less 

 

 

The only time Finances matter is if the person isn't attempting to fix it imo. 


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Message 7 of 19
Regular Contributor

Re: A crush on someone, and feeling you aren't good enough because of your financial problems.

As previously said, it's too early in the dating game for someone to care about finances.   Also, I think what matters more is the drive to improve yourself.  I respect those who are doing everything they can to get themselves out of a hole (no matter how deep the hole) and when they show discipline in their everyday life.  

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Message 8 of 19
New Contributor

Re: A crush on someone, and feeling you aren't good enough because of your financial problems.

I have never questioned a females finances that I was dating, That is stuff that comes up way later in a relationship when it's very serious. So I would forget all about that and just get to know him better first and have fun! For all you know he only uses debit card because his credit sucks and he can't get a credit card!

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Message 9 of 19
Frequent Contributor

Re: A crush on someone, and feeling you aren't good enough because of your financial problems.


triedtogetacardandcouldnt wrote:

Oh, and there's my bankruptcy.


Smiley Indifferent The future house payment would sky rocket.  I ask for a social security on my first date. 

 

 

 

jk dont take me serious lol... My seriousness level is on my forum avatars face..

Message 10 of 19