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@Anonymous-own-fico wrote:
@Anonymous wrote:
She pays for groceries, my stepson's expenses and 1/2 the mortgage. I pay for utilities 1/2 the mortgage and most other expenses like travel, eating out etc. We each pay our own credit cards.
Not a lot to disagree on since the expenses we split are basic necessities. As far as the rest if one of us wants to buy something it's with the understanding that we will pay for it. Of course if either of us were short in a month we could get the money from the other. In 10 years we haven't had a problem with the system.
I’m glad your system works for you. It appears to be more common for people who have been married before and to work well when finances aren't tight and the two are agreeable, not to mention gotten remarried and allowing access to each other’s accounts. Oddly enough, you would think everything, the finances certainly, is ideally in place for shared, well, finances.
Of course with my marriage being the first, I know little of getting into it with history built over the years. Would I be pussyfooting or even know how to? What if I’m paying for the groceries and she’s paying for restaurants, would I suppress an out of the ordinary temporary urge for sushi not to break the delicate balance that we have just come to establish?
Well, you pretty much nailed it. It's the second marriage for both of us and we live below our means. I can certainly understand how tricky it would be in a first marriage, especially if it's relatively new. In my first marriage we had joint accounts and it was a disaster, she was always writing checks and not recording them anywhere. I think she's filed bankruptcy twice since we were divorced. My wife's ex has filed at least once since they were divorced too.
I will admit there have been some times when my wife has felt a bit guilty if I've spent quite a bit more on things like restaurants or plane tickets. I make more than her so it doesn't bother me at all and she gets over it pretty quickly.
The best thing to keep in mind with this type of system is to be flexible. We have things split but that doesn't mean that she won't pick up a restaurant tab sometimes or that I might pay more than 1/2 of the mortgage in a particular month or pay for a grocery run. The main thing is to keep communicating about the finances. We talk regularly about them so any glitches get caught right away and fixed.
@camera_jen wrote:
All that really means is that I wouldn't want to marry someone until we both had good credit. In a dating relationship I'd just have to see how they handle money.
Makes sense. When I got married though, we had no concept what good credit was, not to mention that FICO scores weren't public. We took it for granted that we paid our bills on time. It was not good, it was just the way it was. Not something you got awarded for. Like work, you do it, you get paid for it, and that’s it.
@pipeguy wrote:Actually, if I considered "dating" I don't really think I'd get to the credit part since my wife would kill me
(Sorry Pizza, couldn't resist ....)
LOL, I have to concur...
Thanks to this forum, I went from 520 to 640! I paid off all my debt, I fought with all credit bureaus, checked score everyday (almost). It took me three years to get here, it is awful to be damaged by someone in many ways, including financial. I would ask any man attempting for a date: are you responsible, what's your score, any bakrupcies?
Just kidding (kind of). I was told I will be single forever LOL But it's ok, I can always get my cat pile
Didn't we do this thread back in 2013 Pizza?
Can't see where credit isn't solvable, or maybe even finances too but that'd be something of a negotiation. I'm clean enough in my life at this point if I met someone who wanted to simply hand all financial matters over to me we'd be OK, otherwise I'm of the opinion that someone who hasn't lead a charmed life (credit, finances, other) likely is going to be a bit more realistic and closer to the page that I'm on too... especially if they've gone through the fecal matter and come out clean, or at least currently showering, on the other side.
Raising kids / Finances / Credit is a pretty good trifecta for the long-term in a relationship if social and physical compatibility are there is my thinking.
@valpap wrote:Thanks to this forum, I went from 520 to 640! I paid off all my debt, I fought with all credit bureaus, checked score everyday (almost). It took me three years to get here, it is awful to be damaged by someone in many ways, including financial. I would ask any man attempting for a date: are you responsible, what's your score, any bakrupcies?
Just kidding (kind of). I was told I will be single forever LOL But it's ok, I can always get my cat pile
Good job on getting your score up..