A poll on dating and credit....

[pizza1]

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@Anonymous-own-fico wrote:

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@pizza1 wrote:

Would you consider dating someone that came clean with their bad credit, but was in the process of fixing it, and make the overall profile better?

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 The road to hell is paved with good intentions. I wouldn’t mind dating someone who was in the process of actually fixing it; she would be dumped for mere antidepressant-like lip service though.

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@pizza1 wrote:

I buy my stuff at VS . Makes me feel sexier, even though walmart has the same panties for $2, vs $15, LOL...

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 Haha. Are you male or female?

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all female!!! lol

[IOBA]

Would you consider dating someone that came clean with their bad credit, but was in the process of fixing it, and make the overall profile better?

Probably.

What about if you found out the person your dating told you they had filed BK in the past, but has gotten past that, reestablished, and is now credit savvy and more responsible and rebuilding.

This one is tougher...and it's based solely on my personal experience.  I dated a guy that had filed BK at least once before I met him.  He blamed a business partner took the money and disappeared with his best friend.  He claimed he paid it back, but I never saw any evidence of that in life or in his credit report.  I later learned that he had had several homes foreclosed on.  He blamed the state saying the state favored renters.

This guy had money (10k) in the bank, said he practiced clean living, being responsible and all that.  I believed him.  It certainly appeared so!  I had helped him improve things a little...we even bought a house together.  

Then the anonymous/blocked collections calls began to me for his debt.  Threats made to me over his debt.  He kept secretly raising his credit limits.  He had rebuilder cards.  He started getting stuff in my name, like credit, without my knowledge.  Yes, identify theft.  

The house we bought was foreclosed on.  Bought it for 150k and he refi'd to the tune of something like 450k.  [I was semi-smart - I would not put the mortgage in my name no matter how much he wanted that...I already had a mortgage in my name.  My name was on title.]

The entire time, he was making 80k plus.

Another experience - guy had filed for BK before...said he learned his leasson...we dated for a month or so...and things didn't feel right.  I said no thank you.  The guy filed for BK again, showed up on my doorstep, begging for a place to stay since he was evicted.  All that nice stuff he owned and had paid "cash" for was "in storage."  I told him no.  Wouldn't let him in the door.

say everything was great in the relationship until you found this out.....would this info alone make you bolt?

I would be VERY likely to keep EVERYTHING separate and NOT be the emergency contact!  No joint anything!

Some people change, but it would take a lot of observing and a lot of living to really trust the person had changed.

[Anonymous]

I would have no problems dating someone with bad credit. I married someone with bad credit. If I was living in a community property state though, I might have more reservations.  My spouse has awful credit and has been sued multiple times over poor financial decisions. I have never co-signed or had a joint account with him.  Even the mortgage is in my name only.  He's an awesome person, a great dad, and would give you the shirt off his back. He's just a knucklehead with money.  

[Anonymous]

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@IOBA wrote:

Would you consider dating someone that came clean with their bad credit, but was in the process of fixing it, and make the overall profile better?

Probably.

What about if you found out the person your dating told you they had filed BK in the past, but has gotten past that, reestablished, and is now credit savvy and more responsible and rebuilding.

This one is tougher...and it's based solely on my personal experience.  I dated a guy that had filed BK at least once before I met him.  He blamed a business partner took the money and disappeared with his best friend.  He claimed he paid it back, but I never saw any evidence of that in life or in his credit report.  I later learned that he had had several homes foreclosed on.  He blamed the state saying the state favored renters.

This guy had money (10k) in the bank, said he practiced clean living, being responsible and all that.  I believed him.  It certainly appeared so!  I had helped him improve things a little...we even bought a house together.  

Then the anonymous/blocked collections calls began to me for his debt.  Threats made to me over his debt.  He kept secretly raising his credit limits.  He had rebuilder cards.  He started getting stuff in my name, like credit, without my knowledge.  Yes, identify theft.  

The house we bought was foreclosed on.  Bought it for 150k and he refi'd to the tune of something like 450k.  [I was semi-smart - I would not put the mortgage in my name no matter how much he wanted that...I already had a mortgage in my name.  My name was on title.]

The entire time, he was making 80k plus.

Another experience - guy had filed for BK before...said he learned his leasson...we dated for a month or so...and things didn't feel right.  I said no thank you.  The guy filed for BK again, showed up on my doorstep, begging for a place to stay since he was evicted.  All that nice stuff he owned and had paid "cash" for was "in storage."  I told him no.  Wouldn't let him in the door.

say everything was great in the relationship until you found this out.....would this info alone make you bolt?

I would be VERY likely to keep EVERYTHING separate and NOT be the emergency contact!  No joint anything!

Some people change, but it would take a lot of observing and a lot of living to really trust the person had changed.

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Thanks for sharing.

[Aarvard]

Didn't see another boring Friday night post from pizza1 this week, so probably she has come back to that guy again LOL

[Anonymous]

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@IOBA wrote:

Would you consider dating someone that came clean with their bad credit, but was in the process of fixing it, and make the overall profile better?

Probably.

What about if you found out the person your dating told you they had filed BK in the past, but has gotten past that, reestablished, and is now credit savvy and more responsible and rebuilding.

This one is tougher...and it's based solely on my personal experience.  I dated a guy that had filed BK at least once before I met him.  He blamed a business partner took the money and disappeared with his best friend.  He claimed he paid it back, but I never saw any evidence of that in life or in his credit report.  I later learned that he had had several homes foreclosed on.  He blamed the state saying the state favored renters.

This guy had money (10k) in the bank, said he practiced clean living, being responsible and all that.  I believed him.  It certainly appeared so!  I had helped him improve things a little...we even bought a house together.  

Then the anonymous/blocked collections calls began to me for his debt.  Threats made to me over his debt.  He kept secretly raising his credit limits.  He had rebuilder cards.  He started getting stuff in my name, like credit, without my knowledge.  Yes, identify theft.  

The house we bought was foreclosed on.  Bought it for 150k and he refi'd to the tune of something like 450k.  [I was semi-smart - I would not put the mortgage in my name no matter how much he wanted that...I already had a mortgage in my name.  My name was on title.]

The entire time, he was making 80k plus.

Another experience - guy had filed for BK before...said he learned his leasson...we dated for a month or so...and things didn't feel right.  I said no thank you.  The guy filed for BK again, showed up on my doorstep, begging for a place to stay since he was evicted.  All that nice stuff he owned and had paid "cash" for was "in storage."  I told him no.  Wouldn't let him in the door.

say everything was great in the relationship until you found this out.....would this info alone make you bolt?

I would be VERY likely to keep EVERYTHING separate and NOT be the emergency contact!  No joint anything!

Some people change, but it would take a lot of observing and a lot of living to really trust the person had changed.

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Wow.. That is something else..  I agree and believe in keeping everything seperate.

[pizza1]

Actually, I had to work this weekend, so went to bed early. Have to be up at 5am, so no staying up. BUT, I did post 2 things yesterday in the CC threads,

[Anonymous]

I'm a firm believer that people can change, but IOBA's anecdotes allude to a very good point IMO. For some people (I said SOME), bad credit is just a symptom of a very systemic/pathological character issue, which can extend far beyond the realm of credit or even general finances. It says a lot about an adult when they don't pay their bills on time (or at all) and cry "poverty" all the way to the cell phone store to grab the newest iphone that was just released yesterday. I work with a person like this, and to put it quite frankly, she takes a similarly anemic stance in her job performance/pride as she does in maintaining her credit. It'd be one thing if she was a wide-eyed 20-something straight out of college, but... she's not. I think most men would consider her fairly physically attractive, but I can't get past this aspect of her personality to even think about that.

Now if we're talking about someone who's in the process of genuinely reforming, that's probably a different story.

[Anonymous]

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@Anonymous wrote:

I'm a firm believer that people can change, but IOBA's anecdotes allude to a very good point IMO. For some people (I said SOME), bad credit is just a symptom of a very systemic/pathological character issue, which can extend far beyond the realm of credit or even general finances. It says a lot about an adult when they don't pay their bills on time (or at all) and cry "poverty" all the way to the cell phone store to grab the newest iphone that was just released yesterday. I work with a person like this, and to put it quite frankly, she takes a similarly anemic stance in her job performance/pride as she does in maintaining her credit. It'd be one thing if she was a wide-eyed 20-something straight out of college, but... she's not. I think most men would consider her fairly physically attractive, but I can't get past this aspect of her personality to even think about that.

Now if we're talking about someone who's in the process of genuinely reforming, that's probably a different story.

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Amen to this!

[Anonymous]

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@pizza1 wrote:

Would you consider dating someone that came clean with their bad credit, but was in the process of fixing it, and make the overall profile better?

What about if you found out the person your dating told you they had filed BK in the past, but has gotten past that, reestablished, and is now credit savvy and more responsible and rebuilding.

say everything was great in the relationship until you found this out.....would this info alone make you bolt?

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Well, this exact thing happened to me. I filed Bky quite a few years ago, well before I met my wife but it was going to still be on the CR for a few more years at that point. 

I told her about it eventually and she hung around. Since she had seen how I handled money it didn't really bother her since I'd obviously changed my habits.

Telling her was tough, she'd always been responsible and had divorced a financially irresponsible spouse. We still joke about how I told her. We were in bed, complete darkness and I said " I have something to tell you....". It's amazing how you can be amused by embarassment a few years later.