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Valued Contributor
Posts: 2,732
Registered: ‎08-13-2009
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Re: A steady stream...

It's been months since I posted this...here's the update.

 

* they do have a lot of debt (denial? lying? whatever - their picture is much bleaker than they told me.)

* phone rings at least 5x a day with collection calls.  They no longer answer their phone.

* the second vehicle was totaled in a car accident, so now they are a one car family.

* they are looking for "legal opportunities" to gain income.  (Read between the lines on that one.)

* they are loosing weight.

* they no longer talk to me.

 

We did weather the furlough and the gov't shutdown ok.  Smiley Happy  The interest on our CD's kept being deposited into our checking account every 2 weeks!  Smiley Happy

Frequent Contributor
Posts: 280
Registered: ‎05-16-2013
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Re: A steady stream...

I just found this post and I was really relating this to a friend of mine.


I am single, 4 kids and bring home about 2600 a month (no child support to count on) and we make it.  i never understand how people that make more than me don't make it when they live within their means.

 

Anyway, sad that they don't talk to you anymore. Every time I have a friend that is whining about needing money I offer to make them a budget. I have one that i stick to and that is how i make it, my kids have I phones, my 16 yr old has a car........      i have had one friend say yes and I helped her with a budget,  the rest just want to complain and want a hand out. Just because I have nice things does not mean I have money!  We eat lots of spaghetti!! 

 

 




last app 11/13/2013 gardening for at least a year
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Posts: 399
Registered: ‎08-21-2013
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Re: A steady stream...


cookiebird wrote:

I just found this post and I was really relating this to a friend of mine.


I am single, 4 kids and bring home about 2600 a month (no child support to count on) and we make it.  I never understand how people that make more than me don't make it when they live within their means.

 

Anyway, sad that they don't talk to you anymore. Every time I have a friend that is whining about needing money I offer to make them a budget. I have one that I stick to and that is how I make it, my kids have I phones, my 16 yr old has a car........      I have had one friend say yes and I helped her with a budget,  the rest just want to complain and want a hand out. Just because I have nice things does not mean I have money!  We eat lots of spaghetti!! 

 

 


I appreciate what you said here. I make 1200 a month, I am single, and rent is 600 a month. I have a lot of medical problems and thus follow and very strict budget to save everything I can for medical tests and bills. Ramen, hotdogs, ravioli if I want to indulge. Gotta budget, stick to it, and eat what is neccessary =-)

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Regular Contributor
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Registered: ‎09-26-2013
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Re: A steady stream...

The Wal-Mart brand of ravioli is better than Chef boy-ardee ! 

 

I have an employee that has come to me several times about what he should do about fixing his money situation.   He brings home about 300-400 a week clear.   600 a month rent, a motorcycle, a Newer used Dodge truck and an old Ford Explorer.  He would never listen.  Finally he went and filed for BK.  Couldnt make those payment arrangements and they repod the dodge.   If he would have listened to me 4 years ago, he would not have gotten in this mess.  The good note is, he doesnt miss work anymore.

 

I try to explain to my kids, you eat to survive.  You dont need an xbox one, you dont need an Iphone.   Goodness sakes, I would have to pay for it lol.   My wife is a gem, she is sick with systemic lupus and disabled, she never wants anything, maybe ice cream or candy once in awhile.  She told me lastnight all she wanted for Christmas was a laptop and printer to keep up with her doctor appointments, med list and medical history.  Normally she never ask for anything, I give her money to buy clothes with and she still has it a month later stuck in her purse.  I almost bought the computer for her lastnight.

 

I guess all I am saying is, i appreciate a little humbleness here and there.  My son of 15 is catching on but still ask, my 19 yr old daughter still thinks daddy will get it for her.

 

Been a long road and it took me till a few months ago to realize what credit was and how to make it better and you cant help someone that is not willing to help themselves

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Frequent Contributor
Posts: 280
Registered: ‎05-16-2013
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Re: A steady stream...


KoolDev wrote:

 

Been a long road and it took me till a few months ago to realize what credit was and how to make it better and you cant help someone that is not willing to help themselves


So true!!!

 

 




last app 11/13/2013 gardening for at least a year
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Posts: 90
Registered: ‎10-03-2013
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Re: A steady stream...

[ Edited ]

mmmmm spagetti ... 

 

 

 I'd like to hear an update if possible. having now read through the entire post i kinda knew something was up. your way to nice and sweet of a person. and they were not your friends. they finally became "real" friends when they lifted the veil and told you the truth , hiding the reality like that is not considered friends to me. my best friends know all about the nightmares i live though on a daily.  Dont even loan money to family or friends period.  after everything i've been though i wouldnt even loan money to a gf / wife. she can get her own damn job and spend her money however she likes. 

 

i have been there and done that , throwing money into a black hole , you never see it again nor will it even benifit the person who is asking. and if you give it to them they only come back asking for more and more, once you open pandoras box by giving them a hand out they never stop hounding you for more. 

 

the only person who has access to your pocket book is yourself. period , no significant other no husband no wife no body , my kid does chores for pocket money i dont "give" him money. its literally a quarter for taking the trash out.

 

 

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Regular Contributor
Posts: 148
Registered: ‎02-25-2014
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Re: A steady stream...

I was actually happy to read that they had stopped talking to the OP. When I read that he was considering buying their house and letting them rent it from him, I couldn't help thinking that if he did that he would regret it. I have an acquaintance that did something similar but has never received a dime in rent. She's too nice for her own good. Even though she has huge debts of her own she can't bring herself to kick them out of her house (they're elderly also). If she sold the house or got some actual paying tenants in it her own financial situation would be vastly improved but she just can't bring herself to do that to them. Trying to be nice or a good friend doesn't mean you have to let people take advantage of you.

Valued Contributor
Posts: 2,732
Registered: ‎08-13-2009
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Re: A steady stream...

Another update. 

 

The people started talking to me again.  The people are still struggling.  We have had a few phone calls since I had last updated.  One was begging me to cover the electric bill for a day so it wouldn't be shut off.  I think I did it because I knew their ss check was being deposited the next day and I could transfer the funds to my account same day.  (I can take money out of their account or put money into their account, but I can't see their banking balance or transactions.)

 

Today, I received another call asking for a short term loan.  It's an embarrassing story (for them) so I won't share it.  Due to the nature of their emergency, I did agree to loan them money.  They also mentioned that their a/c had to be completely replaced.  They did NOT ask me for money for that.  

 

When I last visited with them, their a/c was not working.  I had offered that they charge the service call to my cc and pay me back two days later when the ss check came in.  I was very proud of them for saying no, they would wait two days until their check came in and then make the appt for a service call. 

 

They did exactly that.  Two different companies, same opinion - replace the a/c since it was 20+ yrs old and no longer repairable.  Two different prices for the same system.

 

DH actually asked if I was ok gifting them a new a/c.  The cost will be about 5k.  We have to borrow the money to do so.  I asked him why he was thinking about it.  He said he was VERY concerned about their health, their age (75-101 yrs old living the house), and Florida gets pretty dang HOT.  DH was right.  It's dangerous for their health at their age to be under such duress.

 

I called them and told them we will pay for a new a/c if the company will bill it directly to the cc.  They were grateful.  Working with the a/c company tomorrow.

 

I have seen minor change in behavior, but big picture they have not made any changes to reduce the bills.  Smiley Sad  Or to save money.  Smiley Sad  

 

As for the a/c, they didn't ask for help with it.  Makes it easier to gift them a new one.  And I know they have been sucking it up for a month or longer with no a/c and hadn't complained.

Valued Member
Posts: 51
Registered: ‎08-20-2013
0

Re: A steady stream...

+1,000,000

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Valued Member
Posts: 51
Registered: ‎08-20-2013
0

Re: A steady stream...

I guess I don't understand why they couldn't either 

 

1) get a reverse mortgage

 -or-

2) rented out their home and lived someplace cheaper until one of them got a job

 

I agree with everyone on this board... I can't believe anyone can't get by on $3800/month. I am a single parent in Austin with two kids (3 bedroom place), and somehow got by on $1,800/mo for two years. 

 

They are paying for their entitlement, that's for sure.

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