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FrugalRican
Posts: 2,876
Registered: ‎02-02-2012
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Re: A very foolish friend... Is he screwed?

Problem is, you can't really save them. You can only hope they save themselves.

I've learned from personal experience with other men that I've "coached" financially in the past. Surprisingly, it wasn't the single men that were easiest to coach, it was the men with the wives that were on the same page. But of course, there were those with the women like the one in this post, that well, just makes them uncoachable. You have to just hope they snap out of it at some point, or at least be willing to support them emotionally even if they do repeat the same mistakes over and over.

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EQ FICO (01/16/2012): 656 - EQ FICO (02/16/2012): 743 - EQ (02/24/2012): 760 - EX (04/28/2012): 739 - GOAL 2013: 800+

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drkaje
Posts: 3,491
Registered: ‎07-25-2008
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Re: A very foolish friend... Is he screwed?

@ LIGHTNIN,

 

"It's a poor craftsman that blames his tools". :smileyhappy:

 

I love women too much to blame them for my own weakness, LOL! In every disaster I've sen the man still should have grown a pair and said no.

 

My friend is a nice guy, just weak. No amount of advice will change that. He was at the house going on about how unfair the situation and what a bad person she was. I asked "How can you bame her for your being stupid?".

 

If given another house, tomorrow, he'd do the same thing again. In his mind, it was a display of sincerity despite the fact that there hadn't been any sex for the year leading up to when she suggested he move out. To be fair; he's stupid, too! :smileyhappy: He didn't even cringe when she paid off all credit card debt and a new car out of the home equity loan, LOL!

 

Was joking with my girlfriend about the matter. Said I should find a sugar-momma to pay off all my credit cards and student loans. Only one of us laughed, LOL! She's really gotta lighten up!


Starting Score: 675
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casmith1980
Posts: 633
Registered: ‎03-20-2010
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Re: A very foolish friend... Is he screwed?


drkaje wrote:

@ LIGHTNIN,

 

"It's a poor craftsman that blames his tools". :smileyhappy:

 

I love women too much to blame them for my own weakness, LOL! In every disaster I've sen the man still should have grown a pair and said no.

 

My friend is a nice guy, just weak. No amount of advice will change that. He was at the house going on about how unfair the situation and what a bad person she was. I asked "How can you bame her for your being stupid?".

 

If given another house, tomorrow, he'd do the same thing again. In his mind, it was a display of sincerity despite the fact that there hadn't been any sex for the year leading up to when she suggested he move out. To be fair; he's stupid, too! :smileyhappy: He didn't even cringe when she paid off all credit card debt and a new car out of the home equity loan, LOL!

 

Was joking with my girlfriend about the matter. Said I should find a sugar-momma to pay off all my credit cards and student loans. Only one of us laughed, LOL! She's really gotta lighten up!


I just LOL at work.  I tell this to my husband all the time (about needing a sugar daddy)  He finds no humor in that statement.

EQ Fico 2009 500's
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Senior Contributor
drkaje
Posts: 3,491
Registered: ‎07-25-2008
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Re: A very foolish friend... Is he screwed?


casmith1980 wrote:

I just LOL at work.  I tell this to my husband all the time (about needing a sugar daddy)  He finds no humor in that statement.



Someone concerned about my happiness and financial well-being should be all for the sugar-momma plan.

 

It's not like she can't find another BF. Geez! :smileyhappy:


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Dadaluma83
Posts: 364
Registered: ‎08-23-2011
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Re: A very foolish friend... Is he screwed?

Females and getting you in financial trouble. Reminds me of the last relationship I got out of a little over a year ago. I didn't get in financial trouble but oh what could have been.

 

We met my last year of college on opposite ends. I was just finishing up and graduating, she was just starting. We had been hanging out for a few months, going out to dinner, movies, walks in the park, etc then Valentines day comes along and I send her a text message asking her if she is ready to see the movie black swan, we had already been making plans for a few weeks. She responds "I don't think my boyfriend would like that :smileyhappy:"

 

I was floored. :smileysurprised: :smileysad:

 

What n' the world just happened? I haven't talked to her since then of course because I have no time for anyone who will screw me over like that/comittment issues. My best guess is it was an old boyfriend that wanted her back and she jumped at the opportunity. I didn't delete her off my friends on facebook and i am glad I didnt because it has been amusing. She seems to have comittment issues, will regularly post about how happy she is with her "babe", then a month or so later post about how guys are such jerks and that she just got out of a relationship and can't find a good guy, etc (Despite the fact she used to have someone, me, that was looking forward to moving ahead in life, start a career, family, perfectly comitted, etc)

 

In any case she has roomates and is barely struggling to keep up with her share of the rent and bills from what I gather from her posts. Works part time at a fast food stand in the mall, is always looking for more/other better jobs, but a few months ago was on this quest and said she really wanted a brand new Ford mustang bad but couldn't get anyone to co sign for her and was actually asking in the facebook post right there if anyone would co sign so she can get her brand spanking new spiffy 2012 or 2013 Ford Mustang or whatever.

 

Woah, co sign for someone who can barely make current living expenses :manembarrassed: At the time we broke up I was quite heartbroken, mostly because I could have had other options for valentines day dates but of course never looked because I considered myself "taken", once I am in a relationship I do not look elsewhere, only to be dumped right then, but now that I look back on it she did me a huge favor. She is going to mess someone gullible up financially something bad one of these days. :smileysurprised:

 

Especially after reading the horror stories around here about co signing I will never co sign for anyone ever. With my future kids I will help them to take out a secured card and teach them how to use it responsibly so they can use their own credit for things. Future wife I dont know, I plan on buying all cars used, and with cash. Only financing I plan on ever having after my student loans is a mortgage which I dont know about co signing on a mortgage but with a wife I have the belief that we are basically one entity. Whats mine is yours and yours is mine, so the mortgage will be a joint application. Anything else like if she wants a new car and financing, she is on her own with that. I will pay the down payment, but if she really wants a brand new car with financing the payments are all on her. I think that is a good plan.

FICO Scores: TU: 768 (Jan 2012), EQ: 755 (Jan 2012 Lender pull)
Senior Contributor
drkaje
Posts: 3,491
Registered: ‎07-25-2008
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Re: A very foolish friend... Is he screwed?

@Dada,

 

Why are you checking Facebook or whatever on an ex?


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Established Contributor
aussiesareforever
Posts: 741
Registered: ‎10-04-2010
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Re: A very foolish friend... Is he screwed?


drkaje wrote:

@Dada,

 

Why are you checking Facebook or whatever on an ex?



Ha, I can smell a FB novice a mile away. So with Facebook, you don't actually have to stalk anybody. As soon as you log in, Facebook gives you a summary of what your friends have posted or said since you last logged in. One of the many reasons I gave up Facebook.

BK in 2008, after making very stupid financial decisions.

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Senior Contributor
drkaje
Posts: 3,491
Registered: ‎07-25-2008
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Re: A very foolish friend... Is he screwed?

LOL@ AF!

 

I'm not a fan of social media type stuff and don't participate.


Starting Score: 675
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pizzadude
Posts: 9,674
Registered: ‎01-28-2010
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Re: A very foolish friend... Is he screwed?


drkaje wrote:

@Dada,

 

Why are you checking Facebook or whatever on an ex?



Wait, isn't that what FB was made for ?!!??!   :smileyhappy:

March2010 FICO® ~ 695 TU, 653 EQ, 697 EX
Senior Contributor
drkaje
Posts: 3,491
Registered: ‎07-25-2008
0

Re: A very foolish friend... Is he screwed?

LOL@ PD!

 

When I'm done with a woman, I'm done. I'll recycle cans, paper, batteries, or even cell phones, but not people.


Starting Score: 675
Current Score: EX 753 FICO, EQ 737FICO, TU 738
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