Added Friend as AU

[rmduhon]

I'm not saying that she can't be added as an AU, but no cards! We have a friend that's rebuilding who is an AU on some of our accounts but we either destroyed his card or just didn't get one. That way any problems we have are ours. And the friend is perfectly fine with the arrangement.

[loyalsudz]

I even wanted to help a friend by having her be an AU.  I changed my mind so I could keep my self-worth and peace of mind.  So I read about what the other poster had written about not giving the physical card but allowing her to be an AU is a great option if you wish to help your friend. Or take her off now and just let the chips fall where they may.  Next time a friend asks for help, just be a good listener.  Who knows she could say she misplaced the card and then that $200 becomes a ridiculous amount in a very short window. The extra things you are doing to monitor her is just not sustainable.

[Anonymous]

I'm not sure why you added her as an AU.  Most times, people do that to help someone build their credit.  If she has collections that shge has no intention of paying, then she's not trying to build anything.  This will not end well.

[Anonymous]

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@Anonymous wrote:
I have a friend who's in a really bad place financially. She is not very responsible with money or credit. She has lots of medical collections and credit card charges that she doesn't intend to pay back. Not possible for her to get any sort of credit card at all.

I added her as an authorized user on my Capital One credit card. It is a card that I have SD'd so she is the only one spending on that account. We have an agreement where she pays me "X" amount of money upfront and whatever that number is, is how much she can spend for the month.

I just got the card in the mail today and she picked it up from me and she gave me $200. So she can spend up to $200 and then has to pay me again.

Also, I have her card frozen (easy click of the button on Cap1 Wallet) and she has to let me know when she needs it, so I can unfreeze it in order for her to do a transaction. Once her transaction is complete, i would freeze the card again. If she can't get in touch with me at the moment she needs to use the card, she's out of luck.

Basically, I'm trying to help out in the event that she needs a card for any reason. And since she's paying me upfront, it's almost like giving her a secured credit card. When she spends her limit of $200, I wouldn't unfreeze the card for any reason until she "adds" more upfront money.

Do you guys think this is crazy of me to do? She can't burn me too bad, right?

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I hope atleast the agreement is in writing! Geesh.  This is a really Really REALLY bad idea.  Her credit is bad, she is not making any attempts on her own to fix anything, and you are trying to help her by what?... let her have a chance at messing up your credit?  You obviously have a good heart, but don't let that goodness work against you.

I agree with other posters who suggested helping her get a secured card.  She puts $200 on it and has it for those "emergencies".   But if you feel you want/need to do more to help her, make her an AU on a card that YOU use.  She will get the benefit of your credit, but absolutely NO ACCESS to the card itself - ever.

People often intend on doing the right thing, and I have no doubt she intends to do right by you.  But life happens, and when it does, people often forget their good intentions.

[IOBA]

Keep us updated on how things work out.

Others have posted some REALLY good points.  REALLY, REALLY good points.

If this was my situation, I would NOT have given her one of my cc's.  I would have steered her towards a secured card of her own.  As an authorized user, she has the ability to call up and make changes to the account, like unfreeze it.  

Be careful.

[Anonymous]

I totally hear you guys. I wish I would have came on here before I made the decision...maybe I have lost my mental faculties

She's had the card for almost 3 weeks now and hasn't asked to use it yet. You guys' responses scare the bejeesus out of me. She is a friend of mine that I've known for over 10 years (we're 30). She's irresponsible (with more that just credit) but she's not a liar or a thief and I don't believe she would steal from me. If she asked me to unfreeze the card so she could use it, I have faith that she wouldn't go over her spending limit that she's prepaid to me.

However, I do agree with everyone that it's a bad idea and the restrictions we have set up could potentially cause some sort of uncomfortableness in the friendship. I'm going to say that I had to cancel that account and my new card (Blispay) doesn't allow AU's. It's a half-truth but I think it would be nicer than saying that I want her removed because I dont "trust" her.

[heavyjay]

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@Anonymous wrote:

I totally hear you guys. I wish I would have came on here before I made the decision...maybe I have lost my mental faculties

She's had the card for almost 3 weeks now and hasn't asked to use it yet. You guys' responses scare the bejeesus out of me. She is a friend of mine that I've known for over 10 years (we're 30). She's irresponsible (with more that just credit) but she's not a liar or a thief and I don't believe she would steal from me. If she asked me to unfreeze the card so she could use it, I have faith that she wouldn't go over her spending limit that she's prepaid to me.

However, I do agree with everyone that it's a bad idea and the restrictions we have set up could potentially cause some sort of uncomfortableness in the friendship. I'm going to say that I had to cancel that account and my new card (Blispay) doesn't allow AU's. It's a half-truth but I think it would be nicer than saying that I want her removed because I dont "trust" her.

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You're doing the right thing. The friendship is more important than a credit card arrangement that might cause awkwardness between you.

[IOBA]

How did your friend take the news?

[Anonymous]

Help me to understand why she can't take that $200 cash and use  it to buy what she wants/needs?  She clearly isn't doing this plan to establish credit, because she's already trashed hers.  And as an AU, credit reporting may or may not happen on your account.  

Better help for this friend would be to work with her to help her understand that $200 is what she has to spend.  Give her the cash back - remove her from your account, and let her know that you feel like you could help her MORE by letting her spend the cash instead.  Once it's gone, it's gone - and she'll feel that more with cash than she will a card. 

Thanks for sharing - you're very sweet to go out of your way for this friend, but there are certainly better ways to help her. 

[Revelate]

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@Anonymous wrote:

Help me to understand why she can't take that $200 cash and use  it to buy what she wants/needs?  She clearly isn't doing this plan to establish credit, because she's already trashed hers.  And as an AU, credit reporting may or may not happen on your account.  

Better help for this friend would be to work with her to help her understand that $200 is what she has to spend.  Give her the cash back - remove her from your account, and let her know that you feel like you could help her MORE by letting her spend the cash instead.  Once it's gone, it's gone - and she'll feel that more with cash than she will a card. 

Thanks for sharing - you're very sweet to go out of your way for this friend, but there are certainly better ways to help her. 

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While I agree in principal it is awfully difficult to do some things without a credit card: like rent a car for example.  

It really depends on the relationship, and if they've worked out an arrangement that can work (and $200, that's pretty whatever to most people in my experience) then who am I to say boo other than the usual general warnings.

I will state that if my buddy winds up getting a divorce eventually and if the debts which are being racked up from uncontrolled spending by the spouse in this case lead to a BK, I'd absolutely add him as an AU if he so desired... but on the flipside he's borrowed more than 1K twice when reimbursement schedules sucked for him, and both times paid back with interest.  Different situation to be sure than what was described here, but we just don't know the relationship history, and also I will say there's a big ass difference between screwing a faceless lender, a family member (so many issues here), and a friend.  Of course that does depend on your definition of friend, and mine very very narrow (I have precisely two that no matter what crap they get into I will drop everything I can and help).