Am I Blind?

[Pway]

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@Journeygod wrote:

Why are we even having this discussion???

Hey Buddy, there's a REASON why she's been married twice.

Trust me, in the long run, a string of hookers would be less expensive.

Move on.

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I AGREE RUN, RUN, RUN AND DON'T LOOK BACK.  MARRIED TWICE, AND DON'T WANT TO DISCUSS CREDIT AND FINANCES.  RUN, RUN, RUN NOT LATER BUT NOW.

[Anonymous]

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@Anonymous wrote:

Situation: I have been with my girlfriend for a year. We are having the marriage talks and I am seriously thinking about marrying her. She has been divoreced twice and I have never been married. I really turned my credit around and have some CO that are about to fall off but no new credit or new accounts besides a truck payment. I have two collections I drafted PFD today and will pay them in full. I told her I want to let her see what she is getting herself into and told her she can see all three CR and I want to see her's. She repsond saying that I only care about money and credit. I asked to see her's and she said yes when she is ready. Now I messed up valentines weekend. She wants us to have one checking account, one savings. She says that I talk like I wont have her back.

As far as income, she brings home AT 2100 (she says) plus 500$ in CS. I have my son wednesdays and every other weekend. I bring AT 3800 and pay 600$ in CS. I have seen how much she spends and she has like 13 CC and I watched her frivously spend 1300$ during Christmas. We had the convo about her previous marriages and she said she only has 10K$ in debt from her two previous husbands. I asked to see and she turned it on me and said everyone is not as fortunate as you. I am middle class at best and became aware of my credit after failing. Yes, for my state, my income is higher than normal but for years I spent it all and didnt pay my bills so my credit took a hit. 

I told her I am seriously thinking about marrying her and I want her to see what my financial goals are and what my debt is so she know what she will be getting into. She is beyond upset with me for wanting to see her three CR.

My thoughts:

1. Wouldnt you have wanted your ex-husband to share his debts and not leave you with 10k(she says) in debt?

2. What do you have to hide?

3. If I have to go on disability wouldnt you like to know I settled my debts for your security?

4. Because I want different checking accounts I dont have your back?

5. Am I fighiting a lost cause and should I just run?

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Good luck!

[mechanicaljen]

If she's delaying you until after she's taken care of some things.

Delay the purchase of a ring, and a proposal.

[Anonymous]

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@mechanicaljen wrote:

If she's delaying you until after she's taken care of some things.

Delay the purchase of a ring, and a proposal.

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+1000

[Anonymous]

I am going to delay it!

[Anonymous]

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@Anonymous wrote:

I am going to delay it!

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Good decision... This issue at hand is very important and dire as such should be taking seriously.

[skigirl916]

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@Anonymous wrote:

Situation: I have been with my girlfriend for a year. We are having the marriage talks and I am seriously thinking about marrying her. She has been divoreced twice and I have never been married. I really turned my credit around and have some CO that are about to fall off but no new credit or new accounts besides a truck payment. I have two collections I drafted PFD today and will pay them in full. I told her I want to let her see what she is getting herself into and told her she can see all three CR and I want to see her's. She repsond saying that I only care about money and credit. I asked to see her's and she said yes when she is ready. Now I messed up valentines weekend. She wants us to have one checking account, one savings. She says that I talk like I wont have her back.

As far as income, she brings home AT 2100 (she says) plus 500$ in CS. I have my son wednesdays and every other weekend. I bring AT 3800 and pay 600$ in CS. I have seen how much she spends and she has like 13 CC and I watched her frivously spend 1300$ during Christmas. We had the convo about her previous marriages and she said she only has 10K$ in debt from her two previous husbands. I asked to see and she turned it on me and said everyone is not as fortunate as you. I am middle class at best and became aware of my credit after failing. Yes, for my state, my income is higher than normal but for years I spent it all and didnt pay my bills so my credit took a hit. 

I told her I am seriously thinking about marrying her and I want her to see what my financial goals are and what my debt is so she know what she will be getting into. She is beyond upset with me for wanting to see her three CR.

My thoughts:

1. Wouldnt you have wanted your ex-husband to share his debts and not leave you with 10k(she says) in debt?

2. What do you have to hide?

3. If I have to go on disability wouldnt you like to know I settled my debts for your security?

4. Because I want different checking accounts I dont have your back?

5. Am I fighiting a lost cause and should I just run?

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I wouldn't be sharing my credit reports with my BF of a year.

Then again, I plan on going 100% pre-nup.

[Anonymous]

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@skigirl916 wrote:

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@Anonymous wrote:

Situation: I have been with my girlfriend for a year. We are having the marriage talks and I am seriously thinking about marrying her. She has been divoreced twice and I have never been married. I really turned my credit around and have some CO that are about to fall off but no new credit or new accounts besides a truck payment. I have two collections I drafted PFD today and will pay them in full. I told her I want to let her see what she is getting herself into and told her she can see all three CR and I want to see her's. She repsond saying that I only care about money and credit. I asked to see her's and she said yes when she is ready. Now I messed up valentines weekend. She wants us to have one checking account, one savings. She says that I talk like I wont have her back.

As far as income, she brings home AT 2100 (she says) plus 500$ in CS. I have my son wednesdays and every other weekend. I bring AT 3800 and pay 600$ in CS. I have seen how much she spends and she has like 13 CC and I watched her frivously spend 1300$ during Christmas. We had the convo about her previous marriages and she said she only has 10K$ in debt from her two previous husbands. I asked to see and she turned it on me and said everyone is not as fortunate as you. I am middle class at best and became aware of my credit after failing. Yes, for my state, my income is higher than normal but for years I spent it all and didnt pay my bills so my credit took a hit. 

I told her I am seriously thinking about marrying her and I want her to see what my financial goals are and what my debt is so she know what she will be getting into. She is beyond upset with me for wanting to see her three CR.

My thoughts:

1. Wouldnt you have wanted your ex-husband to share his debts and not leave you with 10k(she says) in debt?

2. What do you have to hide?

3. If I have to go on disability wouldnt you like to know I settled my debts for your security?

4. Because I want different checking accounts I dont have your back?

5. Am I fighiting a lost cause and should I just run?

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I wouldn't be sharing my credit reports with my BF of a year.

Then again, I plan on going 100% pre-nup.

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Are you the bread winner? Do you have a complex of not sharing with him?

[Anonymous]

I would just like to say my ex wife was terrible with credit. Luckily I wasn't on her credit cards. My current wife has credit issues in another country that aren't hurting me directly, but I'm helping her deal with it. The reason she's in the trouble she's in is because she wouldn't talk about it when we were engaged until I just said we weren't getting married till we talked about it. 

Seriously don't buy a ring till you know exactly what you're getting into. 

[montana586]

Here's my problem with the situation if u have come to a point where marriage has been brought up I dont see why she has a problem with being open and honest with you about her sosituation regardless of how bad her situation is. So she wants joint bank accounts but doesn't wanna disclose financial information? Huh? Uh no mam shes basically asking u to walk into something blind and HOPE everything turns out ok? All the questions u asked at the end of your post is ur mind and body seeing the red flags do not ignore gut instincts. Alot of times people ignore those things ans end up kicking themselves later on because they didn't listen to whar they were feeling. Ask me how I know? Im divorced and knew all along it was a bad idea in the first place. Thankfully I didn't let it ruin me and make me bitter and I ended up getting married again last year to a person who I can see myself being with to the end. But boy was it a hard lesson learned