Am I Blind?

[Anonymous]

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@Anonymous wrote:

And that is my BIGGEST fear! In my family divorce is taboo, counsleing is the normal when problems arise.

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I would say DEFINITELY do counseling FIRST but she has to come clean with her past and show your her credit reports, that could hurt you later on if someone were to sue her or if her score is really bad and you try to buy a house. Dont rush into the marriage thing until your ready.

[Anonymous]

The funny thing is she screen shot a section of one of her reports sohowing no public records. I said "okay, thats good but I still want to see the ENTIRE report and I will do it in person not text pitcures." She reply "control freak." This being the day after she asked me to go look at wedding rings. 

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@Anonymous wrote:

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@Anonymous wrote:

And that is my BIGGEST fear! In my family divorce is taboo, counsleing is the normal when problems arise.

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I would say DEFINITELY do counseling FIRST but she has to come clean with her past and show your her credit reports, that could hurt you later on if someone were to sue her or if her score is really bad and you try to buy a house. Dont rush into the marriage thing until your ready.

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[Anonymous]

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@Anonymous wrote:

The funny thing is she screen shot a section of one of her reports sohowing no public records. I said "okay, thats good but I still want to see the ENTIRE report and I will do it in person not text pitcures." She reply "control freak." This being the day after she asked me to go look at wedding rings. 

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LOL wowwww! the public record part? lol ummm no theres muuuuuucccchhhh more to a credit report than just that!

[Anonymous]

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@Anonymous wrote:

The funny thing is she screen shot a section of one of her reports sohowing no public records. I said "okay, thats good but I still want to see the ENTIRE report and I will do it in person not text pitcures." She reply "control freak." This being the day after she asked me to go look at wedding rings. 

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@Anonymous wrote:

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@Anonymous wrote:

And that is my BIGGEST fear! In my family divorce is taboo, counsleing is the normal when problems arise.

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I would say DEFINITELY do counseling FIRST but she has to come clean with her past and show your her credit reports, that could hurt you later on if someone were to sue her or if her score is really bad and you try to buy a house. Dont rush into the marriage thing until your ready.

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This is what I don't get.  If she loves you and wants to marry you, why is she soo hesitant to have you see her credit report?  Just doesn't sound right.  Also, if she has been divorced before wouldn't she know better?  It baffles me..

[Anonymous]

Me too, maybe she thinks I will just let it go.

[Anonymous]

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@Anonymous wrote:

Me too, maybe she thinks I will just let it go.

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And I hope you don't let it go.. This is serious business.

[mmmlive1999]

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@Anonymous wrote:

The funny thing is she screen shot a section of one of her reports sohowing no public records. I said "okay, thats good but I still want to see the ENTIRE report and I will do it in person not text pitcures." She reply "control freak." This being the day after she asked me to go look at wedding rings. 

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@Anonymous wrote:

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@Anonymous wrote:

And that is my BIGGEST fear! In my family divorce is taboo, counsleing is the normal when problems arise.

---

I would say DEFINITELY do counseling FIRST but she has to come clean with her past and show your her credit reports, that could hurt you later on if someone were to sue her or if her score is really bad and you try to buy a house. Dont rush into the marriage thing until your ready.

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Ok this is a red flag...

[Anonymous]

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@Anonymous wrote:

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@Anonymous wrote:

And that is my BIGGEST fear! In my family divorce is taboo, counsleing is the normal when problems arise.

---

I would say DEFINITELY do counseling FIRST but she has to come clean with her past and show your her credit reports, that could hurt you later on if someone were to sue her or if her score is really bad and you try to buy a house. Dont rush into the marriage thing until your ready.

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Counselling already when you haven't even taken the vows is just not a good start.  It seems there are redflags staring you in the face.  Love is a difficult and powerful emotion...

[Anonymous]

Yeah, I agree with everyone here that says she's definitely hiding something and you should not back down on this. You don't want to marry someone you can't talk openly with about everything, especially money and bills and debts. It's ridiculous of her to ask you to open a joint checking account when she's not even willing to open up her finance situation with you. No way. Good luck :/ just don't let her make you feel like a control freak or anything. If marriage is on the table, you're being totally reasonable. 

[Anonymous]

So to continue, she still wont le me see her reports. She got upset because she asked me when am I going to propose and I said I dont know. She did open up and explain how she takes so many trips. She works in HR at a Bank where she has worked for 10 years. She said they give her loans easily. It is a small family bank and they love her. She did tell me she has a 10k Sears card with no balance but didnt tell me the balance her on 3 AMEX. I also found out she has six, yes 6 store cards and I know she uses them. It baffels me because she makes less than I do and I have fewer bills than she does.

I showed her my reports and I am happy to say I have 1 baddie left which is a medical bill I am paying. I have been paying $700 each month on my NFL card ($3000) balance left from going to football games last year, which is why I got the card. I showed her my scores which I said my Utilization and Collection is really hurting my score but I am fixing it. I did see her scores by accident when she was showing me a picture on her phone. All three of her scores are about 680 which makes me think she is hiding a mountain of debt and making min payments......