Relationships and Money

[Shogun]

This is a serious issue, and should require serious help.  

1.  Don't argue money over chat, you should sit down and discuss it face to face.  Chat is too impersonal and too easy to get out of control.

2.  Work together, I know it's difficult, my DW and I have had arguments over money for 21 years.  It has happened, it will happen, you won't stop it.

3.  On a personal note, she's PREGNANT.  Not that I'm stereotyping here, but pregnant women are crazy!  Trust me, I know this, from personal experience!

4.  I do hope you can work this out, I'd pay for hair appt. myself if I could, cause I realize that sometimes it's hard to get by, and sometimes you have to stand on your morals, but denying a pregnant woman at Christmas time isn't one of them.

I'm wishing you and your family the best of luck!

[beb86]

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Shogun wrote:

This is a serious issue, and should require serious help.  

1.  Don't argue money over chat, you should sit down and discuss it face to face.  Chat is too impersonal and too easy to get out of control.

2.  Work together, I know it's difficult, my DW and I have had arguments over money for 21 years.  It has happened, it will happen, you won't stop it.

3.  On a personal note, she's PREGNANT.  Not that I'm stereotyping here, but pregnant women are crazy!  Trust me, I know this, from personal experience!

4.  I do hope you can work this out, I'd pay for hair appt. myself if I could, cause I realize that sometimes it's hard to get by, and sometimes you have to stand on your morals, but denying a pregnant woman at Christmas time isn't one of them.

I'm wishing you and your family the best of luck!

---

haha... Just remember that there are two types of women...the ones who know the are crazy and the ones in denial....the are all crazy...My wife was medicated when we met so she already knew she was crazy...haha but I love her and us men are just as bad....I will go sit in the corner now....trust me I didnt mean to offend anyone

[awal]

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beb86 wrote:

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Shogun wrote:

This is a serious issue, and should require serious help.  

1.  Don't argue money over chat, you should sit down and discuss it face to face.  Chat is too impersonal and too easy to get out of control.

2.  Work together, I know it's difficult, my DW and I have had arguments over money for 21 years.  It has happened, it will happen, you won't stop it.

3.  On a personal note, she's PREGNANT.  Not that I'm stereotyping here, but pregnant women are crazy!  Trust me, I know this, from personal experience!

4.  I do hope you can work this out, I'd pay for hair appt. myself if I could, cause I realize that sometimes it's hard to get by, and sometimes you have to stand on your morals, but denying a pregnant woman at Christmas time isn't one of them.

I'm wishing you and your family the best of luck!

---

haha... Just remember that there are two types of women...the ones who know the are crazy and the ones in denial....the are all crazy...My wife was medicated when we met so she already knew she was crazy...haha but I love her and us men are just as bad....I will go sit in the corner now....trust me I didnt mean to offend anyone

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I want to play the voice of reason, but I can't find any basis for arguing the facts.

[webhopper]

There are a few things I see here that I will comment on. First. Your wife is pregnant! Congrats! 

Pregnant wife = bigger belly + emotions.   Also, your wife mentioned having to buy thanksgiving food with her allowance.

Its likely that she needed more money to accomodate her growing belly and the needs for the holidays. 

I think there are some more serious underlying issues here and I think that if you want to save your marriage, its time to focus on healing the relationship in a mature way and communicating and coming together on making decisions.  Maybe invest in counseling... otherwise, the allowance will be the least of your worries.

FYI, if my husband and I had had that conversation, he would be divorced in a heartbeat.  

[demi]

Yes, you were wrong.  Wrong in the conversation, and wrong for posting on the web.

[jake619]

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webhopper wrote:

I think there are some more serious underlying issues here and I think that if you want to save your marriage, its time to focus on healing the relationship in a mature way and communicating and coming together on making decisions.  Maybe invest in counseling... otherwise, the allowance will be the least of your worries.

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"If you want to save your marriage"?  Really?  Some couples talk to each other that way, even more so in informal, impersonal chats, but it isn't indicative of the marriage's health.  $h__ gets real when kids and money are involved.  Add hormones and holidays... this will pass.  It does bring into question other things, sure, but to imply the marriage needs "saving" is a reach.  +1 for the exchange actually occurring.

[FrugalRican]

This conversation, over Gchat?

That's a clear indicator of a LOT more problems than just financial ones... namely, communication ones.

You're both in the wrong, by the way.

[webhopper]

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jake619 wrote:

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webhopper wrote:

I think there are some more serious underlying issues here and I think that if you want to save your marriage, its time to focus on healing the relationship in a mature way and communicating and coming together on making decisions.  Maybe invest in counseling... otherwise, the allowance will be the least of your worries.

---

"If you want to save your marriage"?  Really?  Some couples talk to each other that way, even more so in informal, impersonal chats, but it isn't indicative of the marriage's health.  $h__ gets real when kids and money are involved.  Add hormones and holidays... this will pass.  It does bring into question other things, sure, but to imply the marriage needs "saving" is a reach.  +1 for the exchange actually occurring.

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When people don't feel safe and validated in a marriage they get very defensive...  At what point is it worth staying in a marriage if neither partner feels safe?  If the damage goes too far, you can go past the point of ever being able to reclaim what brought you together.  An impersonal chat is fine, as long as attacking and yelling isn't going on... 

Partners should be able to communicate without having these sorts of major issues pop up in an informal chat. There was a lot of frustration and mistrust displayed in the chat on the original post.

[drkaje]

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beb86 wrote:

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Shogun wrote:

This is a serious issue, and should require serious help.  

1.  Don't argue money over chat, you should sit down and discuss it face to face.  Chat is too impersonal and too easy to get out of control.

2.  Work together, I know it's difficult, my DW and I have had arguments over money for 21 years.  It has happened, it will happen, you won't stop it.

3.  On a personal note, she's PREGNANT.  Not that I'm stereotyping here, but pregnant women are crazy!  Trust me, I know this, from personal experience!

4.  I do hope you can work this out, I'd pay for hair appt. myself if I could, cause I realize that sometimes it's hard to get by, and sometimes you have to stand on your morals, but denying a pregnant woman at Christmas time isn't one of them.

I'm wishing you and your family the best of luck!

---

haha... Just remember that there are two types of women...the ones who know the are crazy and the ones in denial....the are all crazy...My wife was medicated when we met so she already knew she was crazy...haha but I love her and us men are just as bad....I will go sit in the corner now....trust me I didnt mean to offend anyone

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Gotta love'em, though!

Sadly, there's a genetic component to (as you put it) needing medication.

[Skater]

if my husband talked to me like that i wouldn't be sticking around for long.  she's buying things for your children.  help her out.  jeez