I've spent the last several years learning a ton about credit and more here on myFICO. It's been -- truly -- an obsession.
I learned how to avoid past mistakes, how to FIX those mistakes, and how to be smarter moving forward. I began to rebuild my credit from square one, which meant high interest rate CapitalOne cards and such, initially. And I talked about all of these things. Non-stop. Every. Single. Day.
My fiancee (14 year old relationship) proposed back in 2007. As I learned about the impact a partner's credit could have on MY credit profile, I realized that I needed to talk to him about his situation. I knew he didn't have credit cards: Just never wanted or needed them. He had never had a mortgage. He'd had no car loans or personal loans in the past ten years. He was a blank slate, other than a couple of cards that he was an authorized user on. We traveled the globe teaching for five years, and we both needed those cards for hotels and rental cars and the purchasing of supplies.
One day last year, I sat him down and told him that as much as I love him, that in the best interest of our family (us, two dogs, two cats and a bird) I would have to know his FICO scores to decide if/when we could get married. If his portfolio was thin (which I suspected) and had low scores, we could work on that. Same thing if, for some reason, he had some baddies he didn't know about (I couldn't get him to check his free annual reports back then) we could take the time to fix things and raise those scores before getting married.
I held my breath as I awaited his response. We've known each other for over 50 years. We know everything, pretty much, about one another. But finances... Well, that can be a more sensitive, private thing than sexual stuff, IMO.
Thankfully, he thought it was a great idea, and within a half hour, he was standing before me with all three reports in-hand. Pretty thin files, indeed, but not a single baddie to be found. He asked about myFICO, and I suggested he buy his scores here. Fifteen minutes later, he stood before me again. This time, with FICO scores in-hand.
All three scores were over 800.
Hell, you can see in my sig what MY scores are. And I was worried about HIM??? We got a huge laugh from that, and we talked about a plan to work together to continuously work towards maintaining and improving (in my case) our FICO scores. Now we do this stuff TOGETHER, and it's awesome! Now it's an "us" hobby and not just a "me" hobby!
He works in retail, and he applied for a store card where he works. We buy a LOT of necessaries there. Since then, he has gotten several spontaneous CLIs. That was his only credit card. I suggested to him that sometime in the future, he should try for a TRUE credit card (like a Discover, Visa, etc.). Last weekend, he pushed the button at NFCU (I hooked him up with them, too!) and got a $12K limit on one of their Visa products! His first "real" credit card! He was so pleased and I am so proud!
My health is pretty crappy, and one of my biggest motivators for getting my own financial crap together is that I didn't want to leave him with a financial mess. It has moved beyond that to include the huge (to me) amount of money I'm socking away in savings, IRAs and my 401k every month. My last worry was that if I weren't around with good credit and such, that he would have difficulties taking care of things. I'm seriously unwell, and don't even know if I'll be around in five years.
myFICO has helped our relationship in that it shone a light on the things in those dark, murky corners that no one likes to talk about. It has educated me, and through me it has educated my fiancee. Our lives, and our relationship, are better, more transparent and stronger than ever.
LOL! Notfancy, you were right about creditaddict! :-)
Now, about setting a wedding date... I was married before, in 1978, and we separated over 20 years later. My ex had a very high income (none of which I asked for when we finally divorced, by the way) and he is now retired. Because of that, his Social Security payments are about $2,200 a month. He is ten years older than me. I made decent money, but nowhere NEAR what he was making, even back when we separated. No matter how long I stick it out, SS payments on my own earnings record will never come close to his.
If I stay unmarried, I can draw on his record. If I wait to marry until I am 60, I will be able to draw survivor's benefits, but only if I outlive him.
I want to marry my partner to be sure he benefits from sharing ownership of the house (just in my name right now) and other assets and such. I'm not a big fan of marriage, but I understand and appreciate the legal benefits. So it looks like we will get married in the spring of 2017.
@gamegrrl wrote:LOL! Notfancy, you were right about creditaddict! :-)
Now, about setting a wedding date... I was married before, in 1978, and we separated over 20 years later. My ex had a very high income (none of which I asked for when we finally divorced, by the way) and he is now retired. Because of that, his Social Security payments are about $2,200 a month. He is ten years older than me. I made decent money, but nowhere NEAR what he was making, even back when we separated. No matter how long I stick it out, SS payments on my own earnings record will never come close to his.
If I stay unmarried, I can draw on his record. If I wait to marry until I am 60, I will be able to draw survivor's benefits, but only if I outlive him.
I want to marry my partner to be sure he benefits from sharing ownership of the house (just in my name right now) and other assets and such. I'm not a big fan of marriage, but I understand and appreciate the legal benefits. So it looks like we will get married in the spring of 2017.
Good luck and best wishes to you! It makes sense to wait for the reasons you mentioned, especially if your fiancee doesn't make as much as your ex did. Perhaps you can meet with an attorney to get the legalities sorted out for now just in case?
In Creditaddict's defence, I sent him a message to direct him to this thread, as I'm not sure he reads this sub forum lol.