Credit Cards Center Credit cards from our partners
Reply
Contributor
Posts: 100
Registered: ‎06-22-2011

Re: At what point do you give up?


 


OMG you married a single mother with 4 kids, my deepest condolences.

 

Please do not generalize this statement. My divorced mother, with my father not an active person in our lives, worked her bum off all the way to retirement. She remarried to a man - her second, his third, and he inheirted 4 kids, age 17-10. He made a ton of money, but my mother always had a fear of bills having struggled so many years herself. She continued her job. Their marriage was heaven. My stepdad was my mentor, father in every aspect of life. I will be forever blessed that he entered our life. He has since passed and I miss him everyday. 

Starting Score: 2/23/2017 Score 8 EQ 651 TU 659 EX 679
Current Score:04/23/2017 Score 8 EQ 691 TU 739 EX 736
Mortgage Scores EQ 659 TU 694 EX 661
Goal Score: 750+ ATB FICO 8, Mortgage Scores 700+
Established Member
Posts: 37
Registered: ‎04-12-2017

Re: At what point do you give up?


DollyLama wrote:

 


OMG you married a single mother with 4 kids, my deepest condolences.

 

Please do not generalize this statement. My divorced mother, with my father not an active person in our lives, worked her bum off all the way to retirement. She remarried to a man - her second, his third, and he inheirted 4 kids, age 17-10. He made a ton of money, but my mother always had a fear of bills having struggled so many years herself. She continued her job. Their marriage was heaven. My stepdad was my mentor, father in every aspect of life. I will be forever blessed that he entered our life. He has since passed and I miss him everyday. 


Thank you for posting this DollyLama. Marrying into a relationship with kids is work but what relationship isn't? From the OP's story this situation would've existed regardless of whether the kids were his or not. 

I can definitely attest to stepdads being amazing because my brother is one and he's always corrected people when they say he only has x amount of kids because they leave out his step daughter. To him she is his daughter whether she was born from his loins or not.


Starting Score: 615
Current Score: 634
Goal Score: 734


Take the myFICO Fitness Challenge
""
Established Member
Posts: 37
Registered: ‎04-12-2017
0

Re: At what point do you give up?


abnormalspring wrote:

Background

Me and my wife filed bankruptcy together. Mainly because I had a 6 year old Garnishment catch up to me I had forgotten about. But my wife had a terrible amount of credit card dept I made $76,000 the year before we filed I only had $26,000 in living expenses and I took away her cards and was trying to pay them down and I couldnt figure out why or how she owed so much. Well $50,000 later i found out she had re ordered and they were pretty much maxed again so I gave up and we filed bankruptcy.

 

Now that it is discharged things were starting to look better till I checked our account and found she had spent $5,000 in one month and we nolonger have an emergency fund / savings and her new cards are maxed out.

 

I have tried everything to get her to calm down and learn to budget but nothing works and the money and financial problems we had before are coming back.

 

The financial stress she is causing is unbearable I work a 21/7 sechedual and I skipped my week home so I am working 42 straight day just because i dont want to be at the house anymore.

 

So my thoughts are at what point should I say financial managment and a budget or im done?

 

I would be happy if she budgeted everything and had a catagory for $100,000 wasteful spending a month because atleast it was budgeted and I could work with her to get the category brought down.


But back to the situation at hand I'm sorry to see you going through this OP, it seems like you really care for your family. Do the best that you can to resolve things but as others have said if it doesn't work you have two choices.

Either you have to cut her off from all the money in your marriage for the rest of your lives, or leave her and find someone else. The choice is yours and both are hard decisions to make. I hope things work out for the best for you.

Keep us updated.


Starting Score: 615
Current Score: 634
Goal Score: 734


Take the myFICO Fitness Challenge
""

Forums posts are not provided or commissioned by FICO. Forums posts have not been reviewed, approved or otherwise endorsed by FICO. It is not FICO's responsibility to ensure all posts and/or questions are answered.

† Advertiser Disclosure: The listings that appear on myFICO are from companies from which myFICO receives compensation, which may impact how and where products appear on myFICO (including, for example, the order in which they appear). myFICO does not review or include all companies or all available products.
‡ Credit cards for FICO Score ranges: The score ranges are guidelines based on internal myFICO analysis of actual applicant approvals, and having a FICO Score in a particular range does not guarantee you will be approved for credit cards recommended in that range. These ranges were not provided by any card issuer.

* For complete information, see the terms and conditions on the credit card issuer’s website. Once you click apply for this card, you will be directed to the issuer’s website where you may review the terms and conditions of the card before applying. While myFICO always strives to present the most accurate information, we show a summary to help you choose a product, not the full legal terms - and before applying you should understand the full terms of products as stated by the issuer itself.

Copyright ©2001-2015 Fair Isaac Corporation. All rights reserved.   | Terms of Use | Privacy Policy | Sitemap

IMPORTANT INFORMATION: All FICO® Score products made available on myFICO.com include a FICO® Score 8, along with additional FICO® Score versions. Your lender or insurer may use a different FICO® Score than the versions you receive from myFICO, or another type of credit score altogether. Learn more

FICO, myFICO, Score Watch, The score lenders use, and The Score That Matters are trademarks or registered trademarks of Fair Isaac Corporation. Equifax Credit Report is a trademark of Equifax, Inc. and its affiliated companies. Many factors affect your FICO Score and the interest rates you may receive. Fair Isaac is not a credit repair organization as defined under federal or state law, including the Credit Repair Organizations Act. Fair Isaac does not provide "credit repair" services or advice or assistance regarding "rebuilding" or "improving" your credit record, credit history or credit rating. FTC's website on credit.