05-29-2012 05:08 PM
Wow, it's been a while since I've posted to the MyFico forums...anyway, my boyfriend of going on 4 years is preparing to move. Long story short: He was contracting work, contract ran out, had to move home with his mom. Got another contract position, became full-time employee with the company at the beginning of this year, and now he's gearing up to move into his own apartment.
The location he is moving to doesn't have a lot of options regarding TV/Internet service. He's looking into getting service with AT&T (TV & Internet.) He works in IT (as do I) and he needs to have an internet connection in case he needs to connect to work remotely. After running his credit, however, the company wants him to put a lot of money down to initiate service ($450.)
He asked if I would be willing to provide my SSN for service approval. I flat out refused, likening it to co-signing on a debt (which we ALL know to never, ever ever do.) I don't think he would intentionally bail on the debt/bill. However, something COULD happen, and I would be on the hook for the bill, yes?
As you can tell from my siggy, I've worked hard at rebuilding my credit, and was able to buy my home 1.5 years ago for myself and my (not his) daughter (yay!) We've discussed moving in together, but mutually decided to wait another year so that he can live on his own first & feel that he is prepared to handle a household.
I have added him as an AU on three of my CCs: 2 higher limit newer cards (AMEX & CITI) and 1 low limit older card, all with perfect history. I gave him the lower limit card (the limit is only $500, and has been since I got the card almost 5 years ago.) I figured he couldn't go too crazy with it, and that it would be a good way to see how he handles it.
I am not being unreasonable, am I? He was taken aback that I flat out refused when he asked. I don't think he fully gets what the repercussions would be if something went wrong with the bill. I'm sure you guys will give me some great advice, so thanks in advance!
05-29-2012 05:16 PM
You are NOT being unreasonable at all. You have worked hard to get where you are at and you are ensuring that your decisions are in the best interest of you and your daughter. That makes you a great mom in my book. Do not second guess yourself or let anyone make you feel bad for doing what is best for your family.
05-29-2012 05:39 PM
I totally agree with PP. I made the awful mistake of signing for someone who just needed it for approximately 6 months. Well low and behold they ran up the bill something crazy by ordering movies and whatever else. They moved and took the equipment with them and I was slapped with the fees for the equipment in excess of $1000. I could have went to jail for theft. I ended up paying for everything by payment plan and with destroying my credit. Total bill almost $2000. Oh and this was a guy I was in a relationship with for almost 6 years. He received his inheritance and hauled butt.
05-29-2012 06:21 PM
You are doing much more for him than he deserves. I know 4 years you two have some history, but still you are taking a big risk. I am not sure what is the biggest problem that ends relationships, but it is either money or cheating. Since you are a mommy you have to limit your exposure and risk for the benefit of your child first and foremost!
I would tread carefully, very carefully.
05-29-2012 08:10 PM
05-29-2012 08:38 PM
In some cases, service providers will refund a deposit after a year of good payment history ~ I think AT&T does this with wireless service. Have him inquire about this, and hopefully he'll only have to be out of pocket for 12 months.
Another option would be to skip the Cable TV service ( for now ) and just sign up for internet ~ that way the deposit amount wouldn't be as much. I know that it would kill some people to be "unplugged" but I have lived and survived without cable with no ill effects....
05-30-2012 04:25 AM
I am glad that you didn't provide your SSN. Just another form of cosign.
Maybe not today, tomorrow, or next week but at some point he will thank you down the road and appreciate you were helping by hurting as Suzie Orman would say.
05-30-2012 05:09 AM
If DBF can't get utilities without a cosigner (after being made AU on three cards) there's a real problem.
I hate to state the obvious but it seems pretty risky. I know people say "It's only a low limit card", but a late payment is a late payment.
05-30-2012 06:28 AM
I added DBF as an AU within the past month, so I'm not sure if they've posted yet to his report. I'm also almost OCD-like when it comes to checking my CC status/balance, so if a charge posted, I would know fairly quickly & would pay something towards it for the sake of my own credit. Of course, DBF knows 1.) To discuss any non-emergency charges beforehand and 2.) He is on the hook regarding any charges he makes as far as I am concerned.
05-30-2012 07:47 AM
After running his credit, however, the company wants him to put a lot of money down to initiate service ($450.)
I'd rather lend that amount of money than give out my SSN.
But if he needs to put down THAT much to initiate a service, there's a huge red flag right there. If he REALLY needs the internet connection that bad, he'll make that "security deposit".
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