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Regular Contributor
Steelersfan904
Posts: 150
Registered: ‎05-04-2012

Re: Boyfriend wants to sign up for utility - gets hit with security fees


honeybunnygal wrote:

FrugalRican wrote:

Steelersfan904 wrote:

You can add him to credit cards but wont help on a cable bills? WTH


There's a BIG difference in both situations.

Her adding him to HER card means that she ultimately has complete control over the situation.

Him using her so that he can get a utility is leaving herself at the mercy of whether he pays or nots. She has no control afterwards.

 

She's being preemptive and proactive and trying to control her credit situation.

There is no shame in that.


 

This is exactly how I feel. I can remove an AU from my CC. I can't just "undo" a utility account that is opened in my name.

 

Well, I spoke to DBF and he has decided to fully explore his utility options (service provider with lower fees that may cost a bit more, streamlining to internet-only, etc.) We also discussed ways to improve his credit. When we have time, we will pull his CRs & see where he stands credit-wise to get an idea of what needs to be done.


AT&T will cut off a service if a missed payment hasnt been made, if you are saying this is for his work he is more likely to keep it up to date rather as an AU where he can just call and take his name off the account and have a $0 balance show (I had to do this with an EX who I was an AU user on AMEX). I am just playing devils advocate but I would rather have a utility bill in my name then gave somebody authorized use to my credit cards and have 0% responsibility on paying it back if we decided to split. Matter of fact unless I am married I will never do the whole AU thing again. But never the less good job talking to him about it and coming up with a solution to the temporary problem :smileyhappy:



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honeybunnygal
Posts: 162
Registered: ‎03-30-2008

Re: Boyfriend wants to sign up for utility - gets hit with security fees


Steelersfan904 wrote:


I can't remember if I saw it or not but didnt she gave him the credit cards also? She obviously doesn't trust him to pay the bills is my point so if you dont trust somebody to pay their bill why wouldnt you let them possibly run up a credit card in their name. I get that you have to protect yourself and I don't know how old the OP is but if she has known this dude for over 11 years and been together for 4 years and she cant trust him then there is a bigger problem that is all I am saying


I gave him ONE card, with a safe $500 limit (5 year old CapOne card with a limit that doesn't budge.) The AMEX & Citi cards are NOT in his possession. I capped the AMEX so that even if he had it, he couldn't charge more than $200. I called Citi multiple times to make sure that he couldn't get another card sent out without my knowing about it.

 

I trust him emotionally. However, I don't think that I should be blind to the fact that he has had financial/credit issues in the past. That would be VERY naive of me. Before I found this board a few years ago, I was in the same boat. Would I have trusted myself 5 or 10 years ago with the credit I have now? I don't think so.

 

BTW - I'm 31, he's 32. We met when we were both in college.

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Senior Contributor
drkaje
Posts: 3,482
Registered: ‎07-25-2008

Re: Boyfriend wants to sign up for utility - gets hit with security fees

@ SF.

 

She does trust him! That's the problem, LOL!

 

A part of loving someone is accepting them as they are. OP realizes he's likely to screw up again but still wants to help in a way that doesn't harm her own credit repair.

 

I feel people learn more about credit, and how important it is to maintain, doing the work on their own. :smileyhappy:


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honeybunnygal
Posts: 162
Registered: ‎03-30-2008

Re: Boyfriend wants to sign up for utility - gets hit with security fees


Steelersfan904 wrote:

AT&T will cut off a service if a missed payment hasnt been made, if you are saying this is for his work he is more likely to keep it up to date rather as an AU where he can just call and take his name off the account and have a $0 balance show (I had to do this with an EX who I was an AU user on AMEX). I am just playing devils advocate but I would rather have a utility bill in my name then gave somebody authorized use to my credit cards and have 0% responsibility on paying it back if we decided to split. Matter of fact unless I am married I will never do the whole AU thing again. But never the less good job talking to him about it and coming up with a solution to the temporary problem :smileyhappy:


But who is on the hook for the payment? What if it goes to collections? Who takes that ding? I do. Also, life happens. What if he is injured, or loses his job and can't make the payments. Again, I'm on the hook. What if equipment needs to be returned?

 

There are too many hanging details to opening a utility in your name for someone.

Hard work & patience can go a long way!
8/2009 (myFICO): TU - 599, EQ - 656
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FrugalRican
Posts: 2,876
Registered: ‎02-02-2012

Re: Boyfriend wants to sign up for utility - gets hit with security fees


honeybunnygal wrote:

Steelersfan904 wrote:

AT&T will cut off a service if a missed payment hasnt been made, if you are saying this is for his work he is more likely to keep it up to date rather as an AU where he can just call and take his name off the account and have a $0 balance show (I had to do this with an EX who I was an AU user on AMEX). I am just playing devils advocate but I would rather have a utility bill in my name then gave somebody authorized use to my credit cards and have 0% responsibility on paying it back if we decided to split. Matter of fact unless I am married I will never do the whole AU thing again. But never the less good job talking to him about it and coming up with a solution to the temporary problem :smileyhappy:


But who is on the hook for the payment? What if it goes to collections? Who takes that ding? I do. Also, life happens. What if he is injured, or loses his job and can't make the payments. Again, I'm on the hook. What if equipment needs to be returned?

 

There are too many hanging details to opening a utility in your name for someone.



Bingo.

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Regular Contributor
Steelersfan904
Posts: 150
Registered: ‎05-04-2012

Re: Boyfriend wants to sign up for utility - gets hit with security fees

[ Edited ]

honeybunnygal wrote:

Steelersfan904 wrote:

AT&T will cut off a service if a missed payment hasnt been made, if you are saying this is for his work he is more likely to keep it up to date rather as an AU where he can just call and take his name off the account and have a $0 balance show (I had to do this with an EX who I was an AU user on AMEX). I am just playing devils advocate but I would rather have a utility bill in my name then gave somebody authorized use to my credit cards and have 0% responsibility on paying it back if we decided to split. Matter of fact unless I am married I will never do the whole AU thing again. But never the less good job talking to him about it and coming up with a solution to the temporary problem :smileyhappy:


But who is on the hook for the payment? What if it goes to collections? Who takes that ding? I do. Also, life happens. What if he is injured, or loses his job and can't make the payments. Again, I'm on the hook. What if equipment needs to be returned?

 

There are too many hanging details to opening a utility in your name for someone.


As I was just playing devils advocate and asking questions. A utility bill is much much easier to take care of then a credit card ding that is all I am saying. IMO giving him a credit card that is basically 100% your responbility on getting it paid even if he makes charges on it or not is equal if not greather than putting a utility in his name, if you can't trust him enough to open a AT&T bill in your name then he shouldnt have CCs that is on you more than him that is what I am saying. I am not and never once said go ahead and put the bill in your name but its confusing on why you would do one thing but not the other?



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drkaje
Posts: 3,482
Registered: ‎07-25-2008

Re: Boyfriend wants to sign up for utility - gets hit with security fees

Aside from our own misdeeds, few things can impact finances (positively or negatively) like a SO, LOL!


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Regular Contributor
honeybunnygal
Posts: 162
Registered: ‎03-30-2008

Re: Boyfriend wants to sign up for utility - gets hit with security fees

To continue playing devil's advocate, let's look at some worse-case scenarios for each (if we broke up & he morphed into a jerk):

 

AU on CC

-Call CC companies & have him removed as an AU.

-Get whatever card(s) he may have returned. If he doesn't give them back? Once he is no longer an AU, report the card as stolen so that a new number is issued. Actually, I would do that anyway, just in case he jotted the numbers down (by morphing into a jerk.)

-Whatever charges that were made would legally be my responsibility. Given the restricted access & restricted limits on the cards, I'm okay with that risk. It's an amount I could pay off immediately if I had to. I check my accounts regularly. I will ALWAYS know when the bill is paid. If anything starts to get out of hand, I can pull the plug without dinging my CR.

 

Name on utility

-Call utility so that the service can be disconnected. I need the billing info to do so.

-Outstanding bill needs to be addressed. If he doesn't pay it, I'm on the hook. If he is in arrears, it could be a large sum. It could also hit the collections department, which could lead to a collection ding on my CR.

-Equipment needs to be returned. If he doesn't return it? I'm charged for that too (which could also be a hefty sum.)

 

I suppose it comes down to a matter of control. Which situation do I have the most control over in case things go south? That is the deciding factor for me, I guess.

 

 

 

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Regular Contributor
psychoinhell
Posts: 565
Registered: ‎06-12-2010

Re: Boyfriend wants to sign up for utility - gets hit with security fees

I believe someone said earlier it would be much better to just loan the DBF the money for the security deposit rather than put their name on it.  That way even if the money is lost, the credit score is not affected.  Still the deposit is very excessive and since it is not for utilities, I would limit my exposure on that if I was the DBF.  Hell I only got basic cable a few days ago after not having it for 10 years!  I dumped it 10 years ago because I just did not watch enough TV to justify paying $100 a month.  Now my internet :heart: cannot live without it.  How would I post on the boards :smileytongue:


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Senior Contributor
drkaje
Posts: 3,482
Registered: ‎07-25-2008

Re: Boyfriend wants to sign up for utility - gets hit with security fees

@ HBG,

 

I think it's more a question of which situation leaves you with the feeling of being in control. That's not the same as actually being in control. :smileyhappy:

 

Utilities would be harder to fix than a CC should things go sideways.

 

It's just not a position I'd want to be in after struggling so hard to rebuild. DGF is on my USAA card and they're pretty frustrating when it comes to authorized users. I'm likely taking her off next year. It was only done to help with utilization, by then she won't need the help. Also, her credit is far better than mine, LOL!


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