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06-04-2012 01:23 PM
I think it's more a question of which situation leaves you with the feeling of being in control. That's not the same as actually being in control.
Utilities would be harder to fix than a CC should things go sideways.
It's just not a position I'd want to be in after struggling so hard to rebuild. DGF is on my USAA card and they're pretty frustrating when it comes to authorized users. I'm likely taking her off next year. It was only done to help with utilization, by then she won't need the help. Also, her credit is far better than mine, LOL!
Heh...isn't that what gets people in trouble in the first place? Feelings
Also, this gives me a way to see how he does with minimal impact, even in the worse-case scenario. It is what I am most comfortable with.
06-13-2012 12:21 AM
Well, it was worth logging back on, just for this thread. A couple of thoughts:
-- $450 is the fee that your BF is being charged for past credit misbehavior. It doesn't mean that he's an awful person; it doesn't mean that he'll never have good credit again. it just means that right now, per his credit history, AT&T (or whoever it was; I lost track) wants $450 to minimize their risk in giving him cable and Internet access. We've all done things in our past that might not have been terribly smart, and most of us have had to pay for them in one way or another. It won't last forever, assuming that in terms of credit, he straightens up and flies right. Actually, I'd count it as a pretty small fee for whatever happened back in the day.
-- You're a single mom, responsible for a child. This puts a special spin on things. While you might possibly be willing to do dumb things on your own account (no info on this, and it's completely up to you), things are different now. Having good credit might very well mean that if your current living situation gets ugly, you'll be able to move out and away, to a better place for your kid. If you let your credit get screwed up, you might be stuck where you are. Again, your current home might be wonderful, but you don't ever want to limit your options, especially when you're responsible for someone else.
It sounds like your BF is starting to move forward in becoming more responsible for his stuff, including his credit, but he's still only part way through, which does happen. So maybe he's surprised that you're not there to rescue him, and a little indignant. If so, it's time for him to dig up a rueful chuckle, and to realize that he's not all the way there yet, and there are a few more steps left in terms of being financially mature and independent. Hope it all works out for the both of you!
06-13-2012 12:39 AM
Well, it was worth logging back on, just for this thread. A couple of thoughts:
I feel like the world is right again to see Hauling back haha
I have an opposite take. Well, maybe not opposite, since the scenerios are not the same and she isnt a mother.. but..
My GF (current fiance) went to bat for me, 2 years ago when I was rebuilding. She signed on stuff, she helped me buy a car, she drove me to work when I couldn't drive... she put me as authorized user... and I had a REALLY checkered histroy, suspended DLs, tax debt, collection debt, all sorts of stuff..
And she was rewarded with a ring, a sig other with better credit who worked his butt off and bought a house for our future, and a loyal partner..
I understand people want to make situations cut and dry, 'do not cosign, do not do this, do not do that' but sometimes, the right person is worth making a calculated risk on..
06-13-2012 12:41 AM
Although.. with that said, I would have found an alternative internet solution... which I did..
Mine was to get a Cricket broadband aircard.. I paid $50 a month, no deposit, and it did the job for working from home.. then when my credit was a little better, and my deposit only $150, I got ATT Uverse internet.. and after 1 year it was refunded... haha
06-13-2012 01:46 AM - edited 06-13-2012 01:47 AM
Hey RockStarScott, back atcha; good to see you, too: I should have thrown in on my post that I'd be perfectly happy to cough up the $450 (and write it off, never expecting it to be returned, because if you love someone, you help them out), as opposed to risking my credit.
I'm all about helping my loved ones, and I have done so many times, but I'd much rather do some sort of immediate, self-limiting assistance (like the $450), rather than going on the hook.
06-13-2012 06:01 AM
Ahhhhh....Hauling. A certain calm overtook me when I saw your post...*sigh* At this point, I think he is chalking up my refusal to my innate stubborn nature. But he accepts my decision (and he can be equally, if not more, stubborn at times.)
Rckstrscott - I have a question. When your fiancee (who was your GF at the time) did all this, did you TRULY understand how far she was going for you? The risks she was taking? I noticed your scores in your sig (congrats!), so I know you get it NOW. But what about then?
06-13-2012 06:19 AM
To the extent of your knowledge? No way. She still doesn't really have a huge grasp on how credit scoring works. She pays her bills on time, because that was how she was raised. She doesn't abuse credit, because thats how she was raised. But does she know what makes FICO tick? Probably not.. I mean, when I started repairing I really didn't know either.. I am not undermining the risks, but all relationships are risk/reward in my estimation. You decided the financial risk/reward wasn't worth it for you, mine did. Doesn't make her better, or you better.
An internet provider in my personal estimation, is a pretty low risk. I mean, if he defaults for like 2 months, it be cancelled and you would have at the most, what a 300 dollar bill that isn't even reported unless it goes to collections.. and GW gesture can mean the world to someone who is struggling, take it from someone who has slept in his car for weeks at a time. I NEEDED someone like her, at the time she came around. Could I have done it without? I am unsure to be honest, but being with her added to the motivation, and not letting her down added to the motivation to get everything straightened up.
I think sometimes having an intricate knowledge of how FICO works can be an albatross.. I'll find myself making decisions for a three digit third party private score, than making the right life decisions, even if it means jeopordizing my current financial makeup or my FICO score. I think quite a few too many people obsess over their credit, me included now.
06-13-2012 09:35 AM
06-13-2012 09:53 AM
I totally understand what you are saying, and clearly you made the decision you felt was in your best interest... I think if WE were dating, and I was in my old situation, I wouldn't have gotten mad that you didnt want to sign on an internet bill, I would pony up the dough and show I am serious about taken on my credit repair with hope that I could showcase I want to improve for our future..
I think what I was getting at, is all the replies on here that vehemently swore up and down about never cosigning, never doing things like that, and I just think that misrepresents those who actually don't welch on things when helped, or do the right thing. We are on a FICO forum, many of us came here cause we are rebuilding, or we needed guidance on getting things right.. but we gotta remember there are people who aren't credit nightmares out there, who would never DREAM on defaulting on a bill, who might need help and I don't understand the immediate recoil from helping people out.
But the majority of those out there without credit problems cosign without a care, or concern, and there is never an issue.
06-13-2012 10:53 AM
Bingo. I guess I just want to make sure that he is ready to work on it...I don't think that's bad, is it?
I see now what you mean about the never ever co-sign thing. I think that mentality on the forum stems from the fact that people did take the risk on someone and got burned...badly. They thought the person was trustworthy and wouldn't leave them high & dry. But...they were wrong. Unfortunately, we don't usually find this out until after the fact. Hindsight is 20/20 and (thankfully) it worked out for you & your fiancee. However, there are a LOT of people that don't have the same results. Since so many people here have either rebuilt their credit, or are in the process of rebuilding, the "better safe than sorry" view is generally the position taken, feelings and emotions aside.